Premiership - Final Table?

Not sure whether this will confirm status as a prophet for the originator, but I loved this thought of what the last day of the Premiership might look like:

Amazing what a computer-driven form generator can do, isn't it?

I love the smell of ashes in the morning!

So once again Lent is with us as last night saw four of us priests coming together to do the Parish Ash Wednesday service and a jolly good service it was too as we marked the beginning of our Lenten journey.

I love the service and relish the task of preparing the liturgy and getting the ash sorted, especially the ash. The ash is created by burning palm crosses and adding a little oil. It brings the reality that the same things that were waved in praise of Christ with loud Hosannas, turned to dust are a great reflection of the 'then' and our own condition now.

The oil, symbolic of the Holy Spirit, brings the Spirit and the ashes together, a mirror of the origins of life and a promise of the resurrection to come.it also means that it is not just a symbol of our repentance, but an anointing for the journey ahead, enabling us to take up our cross and begin our Lentern journey in God's power and enabling.

Of course the oil also helps the ash to adhere as well so spiritual and practical combine - which can't be bad, can it?

For me, Ash Wednesday is the only time a Priest uses the word 'us' rather than 'you' at the absolution (a pet niggle this). On Ash Wednesday we all come and acknowledge our failings, we all are ashed and we come before God as a fallen and flawed people. None are exempt, for all have fallen short of the glory of God.

For me, Lent is about taking up rather than giving up. So many people parade their putting aside chocolate and if I had a pound for every time I have been asked, "What are you giving up?" I'd be rich! It's about self-examination and so we give up things that provide us with more time and less distractions from the task in hand, not for the sake of giving up.

Happy Lent, may our journeying be profitable and draw us closer to God and the image of Christ in us.

Pax

Lollipop People

This morning, taking the youngest to school, reaching a junction which flows freely on the main road until the lights change in our favour. The lights go red for us and the main road traffic starts again and flows very nicely. Our lights go green and one car gets round before the lights change again until the process is repeated, many, many, many times.

Confused I get to the junction and realise that the lollipop person is stopping the traffic in sync' with the main road traffic lights thus preventing the traffic joining the main road from feeding more than one car per change onto it!

Get to the little village where school is and decide to take pretty route back down country lanes. Entering town, with no other cars in sight, another lollipop person (a troll-like creation in a yellow jacket hereafter know as 'lollytroll') has to run to get in front of me so they can let one child cross. They have to wait for about five seconds before the child has even made the grass that edges the road and the whole process takes about twelve seconds from beginning to end. Then, having crossed the child, lollytroll stops and waits for a woman who has appeared from the alleyway, and as she joins lollytroll they beging to chat as they cross.

Don't the council (or whoever it is that licences these vexations to the spirit) ever think of teaching them about traffic flow, looking at what cars are approaching (during the time I was stopped, I was the only car on my side of the road and the oncoming traffic was about five seconds away when lollytroll got out of the road!!!) and balancing the needs of crossing with the needs to keep the traffic (and perhaps stress) levels down as well?

I have watched lollytroll on a number of occasions. It has a habit of crossing one child, then returning and crossing another immediately after the first, sometimes with the passage of but one car before repeating the process. Walking past a while back, I asked why they didn't 'gather' a few kids and take them across so that there were a few kids crossed with but one stop. The response was that they didn't want them waiting in case they decided to run across without them!

As a supporter of assisted crossings I found this morning funny in that I hadn't realised that they were perhaps as much of a pain as others I know have claimed. Guess I don't usually do the journey so haven't noticed (or was I just fortunate to see two poor examples this morning and they were having an off day?_.

Hey Ho!

Hockley to Rome

I see that Fr Jeff Woulnough has of course swum the Tiber and therefore the real angst wasn't that he was making an ass of him and me, but that he just hadn't told anyone that it was a done deal, and had his decision brought into the light before he'd told his bishop and parishoners.

Seems that my initial thoughts were correct and so, as I wish him and his family well as they continue their personal pilgrimage, with him and the others who leave today have to say that I hope that there will remain within our church a number of people willing to remain faithful to their calling and maintain the catholicity of our church.

+ For those who have contacted me to berate me for assuming that Fr Woolnough was going when he obviously wasn't.

+ For those who considered my posts to be nothing more than opinionated railing against the 'True Church' and the 'faithful'.

+ To those who have told me that I was not a true priest because of my 'anti-roman' views.

I think the realities speak for themselves in the words of +Brentwood, in the posturing of some and the triumphalism of others and most of all in the facts before us. I reported truly and honestly (something that some going might take time to learn) and remain, as I am, an Anglican Priest who is committed to ecumenical realities and willing to dialogue with those with whom I disagree.

Opinionated? Probably, but then I am in a denomination which, at least for now, permits differing opinions. Merely a 'Minister' - no,sorry Jeff, a Priest, an Anglican Priest who remains true to the promises and oaths that I took upon ordination because having been called, here I stand, for I can do none other!

The Ordinariate is too soon and too fuzzy and I fear that some will come to rue this day.

You can read Woolnough's parting wordshere and also find Fr. Lee Bennett's here.

A sad loss of some very good PPs and one which, in my opinion, rather than make a stand for that which is right joins with those others who wish us anything but well and will result in our having greater difficulties in terms of identity.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen and goodbye to all of the swimming class. I truly hope and pray that they will find what they desire in Rome and that they know God's blessing on them.

Pray also that the communities who see their PPs leave will find shepherds who will provide continuity of care, a sound Gospel and possess a pastoral heart - may God be with them as they prepare to continue without some of their numbers and may friendships be maintained.

Pray that we will see this as nothing more than the loss of a few and pray that we will see more orthodox and traditional believers sensing a calling within our ranks.

Pax

Another ordinary day in paradise!

Just popped over to local shop to buy some super glue and in the very short space of time the journey and visit took saw:

Man drinking his breakfast from a can of Special brew as he walks to work.

A schoolboy buying his breakfast (Rice Crispies bar) from the local shop.

A reasonably aged lady buying two packs of cigarettes, some scratchcards and laying out her £12 on the lottery for tonight - that's £28 going up in smoke or down the drain!

On the way back I saw our local atheist, the first bright thing to be seen that day, great guy who contributes much to the community through his work in Scouts.

Stopped to pick up the beer cans thrown in church car park and realised just how blessed I am to be in a place where God is perceived not to be.

Desert Fathers? Celtic gatherings on windy, rain-swept hillsides. Places where God is perceived not to be.

I don't need any of that, just need to be where I am, for this is all of those and is full of people who need to be shown where God is acting in their lives.

"Blessed are you, God of compassion and mercy,
to you be praise and glory for ever.
In the darkness of our sin,
your light breaks forth like the dawn
and your healing springs up for deliverance.
As we rejoice in the gift of your saving help,
sustain us with your bountiful Spirit
and open our lips to sing your praise.
Blessed be God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Amen."

Gaddafi's masterclass

Seems to me that ex-President Mubarak could have learned a few lessons from Col Gaddafi in the way that dictators deal with those who oppose them. Around 1,000 are now dead and something just short of 200,000 have fled Libya.

Yemen has seen almost 100 lose their lives and government forces are using tear gas, stun guns and live rounds to suppress yet another popular revolt.

Having seen the footage from Ras Lanuf and Zawiya it is obvious that the calls for a 'no fly zone' from the Organisation of the Islamic Conference has to be taken seriously. The problem comes in that to do so would not just save lives but would also give Gaddafi some credibility with tbe Libyan populace over his claims that some nations are intent on colonial occupation.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't! But something has to be done.

The situation before us raises many subsidiary questions:

1. Where did the aircraft, tanks, arms and munitions Gaddafi has, come from? He's a despotic dictator but those who supplied him supported him and maintained his reign.

2. Shouldn't Arab nations be the people to impose and maintain the 'no fly zone' - for those who supplied arms to do it would be to legitimise duplicity.

3. If he manages to suppress the popular revolt, will governments recognise him and his government and by doing so endorse his actions

4. Apart from a Sunday mention in the prayers, how many of us (and our churches and fellowships) are really praying for the Middle East?

Pax

Risk Assessment means never having to say 'No!'

I have come across a wonderful tool for people who don't wish to use the dreaded 'N' word!

Using this you will never need to say 'no' again, but that which you wish not to happen will be stopped dead in its tracks. Those who wish to do stuff you don't want will be rendered impotent and life will be one long holiday where you get your way all the time in just about every area.

The key to this is the use of what I think I will call 'A Recursive Management Tool' (RMT) and it works like this:

Some bright spark has an idea that they'd like to do something, outdoors, with the youth group as Spring is on the way. You don't like the idea and you don't want it to be done so call the bright individual (AKA 'the enthusiast') who had the idea. "What a super idea, I love it, before you do it could you do a risk assessment on what you want to do so we can make sure it's safe, and more important still, be sure that we're covered in case things do go wrong."

Having had their idea endorsed, the bright star rushes off and sets about putting together a risk assessment. Three to four weeks later, after a bit of clarification and 'fine-tuning' (may take longer if you're brighter than the bright thing!), the risk assessment is done and the bright individual returns looking for a date to do stuff.

"Wonderful idea. Where do you plan to do this outdoor thing?" you ask (innocently). Listen intently and applaud the inventiveness of using the piece of land that they have identified as the ideal place for their endeavours. Then, having been positive and supportive of all they have outlined you ask whether they could do a risk assessment of the place they want to use making special note of ownership, access (especially for emergency vehicles), who else might be using it, potential for disturbing others and the like.

Our 'Enthusiast' will leave feeling encouraged and supportive and rush off to find out what is what and who might be there. When the come back help them to refine the location's risk assessment and then, when they think it's done, ask them to go a draw up a map of the place with reference points for emergency services and map references (for instance, the garden of Lambeth Palace is TQ 30623 79077 and it can be found at 51.495556 (Lat) -0.1197222 (long). If you are feeling kind TQ 30 79 will do).

By the time they return with the assessment complete you can extend the exercise by asking them to check on what time sunset is for the days the happenings will happen and perhaps get them to check on lighting in the car par and on paths as things finish. After all, we can't be too safe, can we?

Having done this the (slightly less) 'Enthusiast' returns with everything done ready to start things rolling (at last). Having started in March it is now mid-June and all you need to do now is write to the land-owner and check that they are happy with this use and enquire whether there would be any cost incurred for using the land (which although it is a public space, might be subject to some hereto untold levy) and whether there would be a need for liability insurance for the events which are to take place.

After a space of but a few weeks it transpires that you need a liability insurance policy for the things to happen. This then means:

a. You write to the church insurers and ask them how much it will cost to have the additional cover,

b. You ask the Treasurer to look at the cost implication of providing the extra insurance cover and wait for them to come back with the information. Having received this information you then get the question of approval for the insurance tabled for the next PCC meeting (which now being July/August means September at the earliest) for them to approve the proposed expenditure. Once the meeting has met and approved it you can now move on (either way).

The insurance is in place, the risk assessments are complete and everything appears fine for the use of the location.

But sadly it is now October and the nights are drawing in and the weather is getting colder and wetter and there's a chance of rain (perhaps even sleet) and so it's best that we wait until next march before we start with this excellent scheme.

And of course, we still need detailed lesson plans and other information - but that can wait until next April!

So there we have it. How to ensure that you can keep being positive, never say 'No' and never see whatever it is that you don't want happening and remain the good guy all the way through.

Enjoy!

Man Utd - Now we see it, then we didn't!

I often find the world of football to be a place populated by people of shifting morality and opinion! A bloke can divert his run by a few metres to enable him to whack an opposing player in the throat as he passes him by and, despite the outcry of others, neither the ref' or the player's manager 'sees anything in it'!

A few days later, the same player sticks his behindside out and an opposing player obligingly sends hims tumbling. This time, although once again the ref' see 'nothing in it', this time the manager (yes, the same one as before) sees lots in it. He goes red, fumes, waves his arms like a fledgling learning to fly and remonstrates with the fourth official.

Then it gets betterer and betterer because the week later his team lose their second game on the bounce and there should have been a sending off (well, two at least from the game I saw) and the result should have been theirs. Once again, thanks to poor (biased?) refereeing, the best team lost!

What a load of tosh, and what a wonderful mirror to hold up to our society, football is becoming. I meet so many people during the course of my dog-collaring and a great number of these are always ready to point to the excesses of the groups who stand opposed (or are perhaps merely 'different' to them! They tell me how others lie and do things that demonstrate their lack of Christian whatever. They can denounce every movement made by others as wrong and yet, when the mirror is brought into play, fail to recognise the same in themselves.

Lord,
Give me the grace to see in myself the things that I so easily see in others.
To rise about the tackles and foul play of this world and keep my game pure;
To keep on running for the goal when taking a tumble might yield more.
Father, football is important, but it's not about life and death,
So help us to live because the death of Christ brings us life.
And may we come to the place where we are saved and never need face the penalty.
Amen.