Death - it's not a celebrity issue!

What do the numbers 53, 60, 96, 95 and 84 mean to you I wonder?  Do they mean anything at all?

For those who appear to be obsessed with celebrity deaths, these are the ages of George Michael, Carrie Fisher, Ricard Adams, Liz Smith and Debbie Reynolds who have all died recently (Reynolds being the latest).

A number of people have engaged in in the 'tragic' news - tragic on the grounds that they were stars; they were famous and did stuff that put them in the public eye. They tell me how. "There's something going one with all these stars dying!" And you know what - they are right.

Now consider the ages 94, 88, 95, 88, 70, 98, 88, 67, 80, 91 (my last ten funerals) and have a think about the fact that in some of those there were a handful of people left to mourn the loss of a life and yet in the stories that represented their lives there were heroic acts, selfless love, tragic lives and lives lived to the full.

A heroine taken and heroin taking another - that would be the heading for a couple of the celebrity deaths; a mother's broken heart accounts for another and 'just being old' a couple more of the celebrities.

But there's no conspiracy - as (a much quoted and more often unattributed) comment puts it - the high number of celebrity deaths corresponds with the rise to fame of film and music stars and the birth of the 'celebrity' whom so many now worship makes a large number of the deaths nothing more than a statistical reality and a reflection of candles burnt. Now I know one of the recent deaths was extremely sad in that the loss of one celeb' played a part in the second death but look at the 'December' deaths and tell me which of them cause a real surprise:

Liz Smith: 95      Richard Adams: 96       Debbie Reynolds:84       Carrie Fisher: 60
George Michael: 53    Rick Parfitt: 68      Zsa Zsa Gabor: 99          A A Gill: 62
Greg Lake: 69     Peter Vaughan: 93        Andrew Sachs: 86

Now look at the list again and having removed those who have clocked up a fair number have a stop and think about lifestyle choices of the 'surprise' deaths that remain - could it be that the 'sex, drugs and rock and roll' lifestyles and the like have played a part here?

So we now reach a place where it becomes pretty obvious that despite the newspaper hype and the fairtydust folklore attitudes of many around me (and I am assuming that the people here are little different to the people elsewhere) and you will see that God, most definitely, is not building a rock and roll band. Neither did he read Watershed Down and cry out, "Author, author!" only top find him standing before Him in an eyeballing later.

Regardless of who a person is or what they do - a life is a life and yet some seem to count the life of the star as something more than the life of a woman who cleaned toilets or worked at a lathe and walked to work because the money didn't allow for a bus or the man who was working four jobs during the time when short-time working, layoffs and the like (aah, remember the 60's and a time when the UK had a manufacturing industry?) - and all that to put love in the home, food on the table; clothes on their children's backs.

We need some perspective - all life is valuable and the loss of life is always a tragedy for someone.

It is sad that many who had so much in life get more again in death whilst the 'have not's' are buried quietly with barely a nod or, sadly at time, a person to note their passing.

One of the saddest funerals I have ever done was for a person who devoted their life to the service of others and yet when the died at 104 there was just me, the organist and their carer from the Old Folk's Home to mark her passing. The stories were few because none who knew them were alive and those who might have been family, albeit distant, had no relationship with them because they were separated by the generations!

So - here's a plea. We are called to comfort those who mourn and the greatest role I have as a Priest is that of helping the well, and the dying, to die well - regardless of whether that event is imminent of perhaps(but who knows) years off. We have all buried people in their teens, a time when death isn't even the glimmer of a fear and the assumption is that there to be tens of years before them.

So we can but live each day as if it were our last and act as if someone is watching (and of course they are - and I don't mean Santa either!) and an account of our actions will asked of.

Yesterday the Church remembered the 'Holy Innocents' - those children under two who were put to death by Herod as he sought to remove Jesus from this world. Today we ignore the children, those innocents, who die around the world in refugee camps, warzones, places where famine, poor sanitation and the lack of effective (or cost-available) drugs all conspire.

I have met people who have spent inordinately large sums of money to mark the passing of a celebrity and yet these same people were resolute in their lack of support for the Christian Aid envelope stuck through their letterbox. How happy we are to pay out for what is unimportant whilst the important - and isn't life always important? -  is ignored.

So a message to those around me: 'Wake up before you go go" because you only get one chance to do good things on this earth whilst you're here - and after that there's some clarification to be sought. A no, a Band Aid Tee Shirt doesn't count as having acted charitably, it means you were more likely than not just indulging the celebrity cult with a bit of salve (after all, the local who told me they spent almost £500 to be at the concert: "But it was for a good cause," and, "They really loved nn and, at last, got to see them!!   Yeah, that sounds like charity doesn't it?

Psalm 146:3-9 has a pointer in all this:

"Don’t put your life in the direction of those who know nothing of salvation life for they are as flawed and fallible as you. They live their lives of illusion on the screen, the stage and in their own existence and yet, they so often fail to have what it takes to live life to the full - and yet people seek the empty reality wrapped in the misplaced glamour that the masses crowd in to give them

But when they die, their fantasies, the appearance and the applause die with them so why not, instead, put your hope in God and know what real blessing and turn peace; what things make for a whole person and a fulfilled and blessed life are all about?

God has never decided to no longer reply to His fans, neither has he erected high fences to keep us away because He wants His privacy. God always stands up for the wronged and feeds the hungry (without selling you a Tee Shirt) and acts to release captives of all kinds.God loves all people, protects the strangers, takes the side of orphans and widows, but (and this probably is a warning - so take it as such) makes short work of the wicked."

Let's admire and applaud talent and ability - but never let us lose our balance such that we make them the small gods of our age who can lead us nowhere and do little of substance for us and be a dissipation rather than blessing.

Just saying.

And now praying:
Gracious God, 
surround us and all who mourn this day with your continuing compassion. 
Do not let grief overwhelm your children, or turn them against you. 
When grief seems never-ending,
Take them one step at a time along your road of death and resurrection
In Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Some Blue Sky Thinking

Which I rather like as a challenge to people of all viewpoints and faiths (and non-faiths too) - No one escapes this statement and the more one considers it the more it seems to develop discussion and the odd bit of polarisation (especially when they point at you and say, 'That's what your lot do!').

Give it a try and get talking (try it on the train too perhaps!):

Showed it to someone recently and their first response was 'Let's get them!'

Still trying to find out which 'them' it was and hoping I'm not part of it!

Tried it again and was met with the response, "So . . .  What is truth then?'

As if I know, I have difficulty separating fiction and real-life at times [have to go, Noddy ands his mate has just parked outside]

:-)

Antony - An inspiration

I have many people who inspire and challenge me. One of those is celebrated today in the church's calendar*: 'Antony of Egypt, Hermit - 356'

What makes this man so amazing special is the fact that he is one of what we call the 'desert Fathers' - an amazing bunch of people who sought God in the places where He was perceived not to be and who went into the 'rough places' and found Him!

Much of what we know of this man comes from Athanasius' 'vita' (life):
The lifestyle, harsh as it was must have suited him as he died at the age of one hundred years and five (b. c.251 - died 356).

Although wealthy he too the words of Jesus in Matthew 19 to heart and lived what he believed, giving what he had to the poor. Matthew's words go like this:
'If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven; and come, follow Me.'

I am always inspired by people who make their faith life real for, in every age, there have been so many of us who have been willing to proclaim Jesus as Lord and live unregenerate lives. Here we have a man who put aside comfort and possessions and took up his cross, denied himself and followed Christ.

What has always struck me most was that with the acceptance of Christianity by Rome there were many who struggled and sought a separation between the Christian faith and the things of Caesar (disestablishment was with us from its earliest days). Antony was at the bleeding edge of this mindset and lifestyle.

Would that the Church today perhaps followed his lead and became a little more counter-cultural and were less in bed with some of the political parties and power-brokers and more engaged in keeping its hearts and hands clean.

Antony, and others then, knew where true power was to be found and what was important for a long and full life and a true profession of the Christian faith - may his life touch, challenge and inspire us.


(I accept that your church doesn't do feast or festivals and so I suggest you read this as 'the proper church's calendar' - Bazinga!)

Boating - A truly Wet Witness

Yesterday I found myself engaged in a couple of most interesting conversations regarding funerals and the high workload of clergy. The former focused on how the person 'up the front' could make or break a funeral and the latter was located on the large amount of work many priests get through in their daily rounds.

Interestingly, for me at least, there was a very high degree of respect and admiration for those who live out their calling to be engaged in this priesthood business and it was good to hear people from a place not my own talk about encounters and perceptions. To hear of how much of a part clergy play in their communities and how visible they are, even to those who might not be part of the Church, was a great encouragement indeed.

The funeral piece was interesting, for me at least, in that it mentioned the need to be well grounded in who the person being dispatched was and the fact that humour was regarded as perhaps the second most essential element - in a balanced and appropriate way of course - of the whole proceedings.

It is always a challenge to know how to react whilst on a funeral visit and it's not until one walks through that door that the right level is to be found; some being sombre or tearful whilst others are gentle and even lighthearted whilst some are almost riotous and in danger of becoming a full blown party. The being invited into the presence of someone who has lost their partner of sixty plus years and finding a pragmatic and 'doing it the right way approach' can just as easily be a tearful and almost toxic grief experience; for no two people grieve exactly the same - no two families handle their loss in exactly the same way.

'What makes a funeral work is ending on a high and with a birth of a laugh and a smile,' said my companion.

That a funeral is not the end and that there is a resurrection to come - that a person is never a 'was' and is always an 'is' - that Jesus died and rose again - can there be a better high than that?

Pax

Beginning and End (and in between)

Many a time I have sat by the bed of someone who was soon to leave this world of ours and been challenged by the family members who clung so hard to them.

Many a time I have urged people to let go of their struggles with others and choose a path of peaceful coexistence, even when it means moving away from them.

Many a time I have sat with, and prayed for, couples as they come to terms with the loss of a baby.

Often in these encounters I find myself drawn back to the words of Psalm 139 and the strength, comfort and direction that is found in this piece and the thoughts it contains.

Psalm 139

Lord, there's nothing you don't know about me: Beginning to end and all that's in between.

You know my thoughts, my deeds and more besides.

You know where I've been, what I've seen and what I'm going to as well.

You know what I've said before I say it (and how you wish I wouldn't).

Where can I go that you're not?

How can I avoid your gaze?

No matter where, or how, I can't give you the slip.

Darkness hides me from men, but not from you;

Holes in the ground or high in the peaks and there I am alone, except for you!

Morning, noon and night; 

Seven by twenty-four by three sixty-five - there you are alongside me!

Before my first scan you saw me and knew me,

My whole life story; triumphs and sadness, challenges and trials,

There they were, all my choices (not sadly yours), all my deeds!

From the womb to the tomb (and beyond) as I grew and blossomed,

Blossomed and decayed.

Your words, You hopes, Your love;

Surrounding and a finger tip away.

Would that perhaps I had realised this and acted better;

Made the right choices; done the right thing; been the better man!

If only you'd have got rid of the really wicked people,

Stopped the bloodshed, stayed the wars, protected the innocent;

If only you'd change your mind and act on the earth once again,

Forgot the rainbow and down down and dirty with the down and dirty people!

How I wish you'd check me out and see what bits of me are wrong.

What thoughts, deeds and plans deny you and damage us both,

And those around me too!

Find them and work on them with me,

For you doing it without me would mean nothing, would it?

Make me the man I can be, should be, rather than the man I am;

And wait for me with everlasting life at the journeys end.                                   ©VicVDB2013

Point Something posts and Work Quantification

A quick splurge which might just damage your brains:

This week has been one of those where, as I sit down and drink my tea before the day outside of the Vicar's palace begins, I realise has gone before I've managed to get through Monday's work! One of those weeks where the days have vanished and I can't recall what on earth I've done. And this fits in with a conversation I have had regarding looking at a parish (or district) with regard to workload and posts; and another relating to 'how much of a vicar' a post demands.

At the heart of the discussions were two strands of thinking. The first being:

'The church doesn't merit a full minister, it should be a point five post whereas another, bigger church, warrants a whole post.'

The second was this:

'If they can't pay for a full post then they need to realise that they can only have a 'point something' post!'

Now I'm going to be contentious in that I am of the opinion that some places will never be able to pay for a whole minister and yet the area in which the congregation is placed demands such; a situation where generosity, casting bread on the water and missional thinking converge and demand a right response.

I'm going to be inflammatory and say that some places, whilst they look like full post places (and can pay for same) don't always appear to have full-time ministers; big or flourishing does not necessarily mean an engaged and active minister (or even clergy).

Now I'm not saying that some of our clergy aren't pulling their weight but what I am saying is that when it comes to House For Duty (HfD) and 0.5 posts there reality is that they never are!

When we discussed this during the week I found that whilst I can't find enough hours in the week to get everything in that I need to do. Between schools, home communions and visits, meetings, services, funerals, drop-ins, sermons and all the other stuff, life is an exciting event.

One of the clerics I was chatting to came up with the solution, 'You're doing too much!'

Now we've thus far, managed to grow from within a Pastoral Worker, Pioneer Minister and Reader plus other active members of the congregation. We find some 85% of the congregation engaged in something and we really live out an all-member ministry (and it's growing) and we are engaged in the community around us. Not a success story in terms of numbers but we are adding (slowly) to the numbers and the relationships in the community are developing and my feeling is that we're doing too little - for we live in a place with needs and problems galore.

So I asked what I should stop. The answer was that we could have a healthy church and a knackered cleric or a cleric who took time away and came before God and took care of their own spiritual and recreational life and was healthy and had a church that was 'middle of the road'; and of course 'via media' is what we Anglicans do so well.

Now I haven't got an answer to this.

Perhaps I am a workaholic but I am also keen to see people take up tasks and roles in the church so that I can do, not less, but more in different places. Whatever I do I would love to pass over but the journey from pew to pulpit is long and happens in the timing of God and the individual - I will never push people but then again I will never say 'No' to those who wish to try something. The problem is to see it from through their eyes and they from mine!

Previous ministers in one of our HfD congregations have given as much as many full-post clergy and this has led to wrong expectations from the congregations when they have gone. They ask for HfD and expect seven days a week!. Not only that but we need to realise that even a relatively small congregation takes time to care for pastorally and more time to engage with the community and develop the relationship that might bring them into membership as believers; yet cutting according to the cloth we have is also real need.

The Church used to view it's missionary effectiveness in the shape of church plants and the many 'daughter churches' out there are a testimony to the commitment of others to bring the Gospel, and the presence of God's active people, into places where He was not perhaps to be found. These need to be managed and supported and end now, thought Fresh Expressions, continued with and this will take generosity from congregations who have (prayer, vision, people and money) and from diocesan staff whose job is not just to balance the books but to support a missional and engaged church.

I'll leave you with a thought from a colleague: 'I don't want to be Jesus for my parishioners  I'll leave that to Him - my job is to be right with God and after that comes the Church and the work it calls me to do. We must each look after ourselves first - even if it leave others struggling.'

Not sure I agree - and yet others in the conversation did - perhaps I'm just getting it wrong (I know there is a balance and yet I feel it tips towards those I pastor but  . . . . :-(  )

Discuss

Christianity - Free Lamborghini or McLaren anyone?

Here's a really quick splurge from my grey matter onto the electronic paper of this blog and I apologise for typos, rushed edits and and confusuioon but here goes:

Last night saw the second evening of an Alpha course that we are running jointly with our local Methodists and as we chatted about the Cross and addressed the question, 'Why did Jesus die?' I became very aware of the fact that, generally speaking, many churches (and members) I engage with appear  to fail to make the cost of commitment real and obvious.

For me the answer to the question 'Why' is summed up in the words of John 3:16:

'For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God didn't send His Son into the world to condemn the world but that through Him (Jesus) it (the world = us) might be saved!'

The 'Why' for God and the 'What' for us are both clearly visible.

God - Die

Us - Believe and accept that salvific act (made ONCE, for ALL, upon a CROSS)

Simples innit?

So here we are, God is offering us, free and gratis something that is precious and unique, namely:

i. Restoration of relationship with God,

ii. The breaking of the power of sin (which is of course death - and by coming back on Easter Sunday He handed it back to satan with the words, 'Whoops, broken it!', and

iii. The becoming of a new creation - through the indwelling and enabling of the Holy Spirit, one that is about to live within the freedom of 'free choice' making the right choices (and wrong choices, when they are taken, less often).

And all we have to do is accept it and keep it on the road. But it is just too easy to have God bear all the cost and us live with all the benefits. There is a cost for us too and many of my friends over the years have paid out (often sacrificially in terms of money, marriages and relationships) to keep cars on the road, aircraft in the air and radios on the airwaves. Others have devoted free time to trains (real and model) or stamp collecting or many of the other hobbies people have, and this is where it gets hard for me when it comes to Christianity.

I know people who put everything on the line for a hobby and know many people who claim to be Christian and yet are willing to do nothing but accept and demand and give the very minimum in time, money and energy.

If I were to offer you one of the top marques of car (Ferrari, Lamborghini, McLaren, etc.) free of charge, how many would take my hand off in the rush to accept it? But to keep a car like that on the road take some real commitment (and it's not just money I'm talking of here).

A friend with one such car told me how it cost him 'a few thousand' every year to keep his beloved super car on the road and yet, he claimed, it was worth it because look at what he had!

God, through the Cross of Christ offers each of us something that cost Him everything and lasts not just for our lifetime but for eternity and yet many of us will commit less to keeping it on the road than we do for our hobbies and pastimes - after all they cry, 'it's a free gift - how can it cost us anything?'

And oddly, these are also more, often than not the same people who complain about the lack of things being done in the church. They are the same people who wished to be served and to be cared for and to be provided for and to be made happy and listened to and obeyed (yep - that too) and yet they don't put anything in to keep the vehicle that is the church or the component that is their life working effectively and efficiently.

Now here's some questions:

Are you the problem or the solution?

Are you willing to pay (and I don't mean with mere money) to keep your faith on the road?

Is your faith an interest (your hobby) or a life-changing, life-long commitment?

Are you willing to pay what it takes or merely willing to take?

The time is coming when we need to realise that if you merely wish to be an associate member (and you're welcome as such) then you will also have to realise that whilst we can guarantee a life membership being open for you in Church, we cannot guarantee and eternal life membership.

Your choice

Thought for the day

so, which season is yours?