40 Acts - Day 13:' Second Fiddle '

For some of us, relinquishing control and sacrificing our own agendas or plans is difficult.

It means that (a) we don't get our own way and (b) we have to trust someone else or put them first.

But practising playing second fiddle sometimes is important and generous: it shows the other person that you recognise their worth.

Love from the centre of who you are; don’t fake it. 

Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. 

Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. 

(Romans 12:10 The Message)

Fifteen years ago my husband and I visited Bangladesh with World Vision to meet our 11-year-old sponsor child in one of the world’s worst slums, on the edge of Dhaka. We were excited to meet her and confident about our role, which was to gather facts for a book that might encourage people to give and thereby improve conditions for some of the world's forgotten.

We loved the fact that to Jesus there were no unimportant people. However exhausted, however pressured by those in authority, he set aside his own needs to concentrate on whoever stood in front of him, showing respect and love for the marginalised, the children, the women and those who had physical problems which literally placed them out of bounds.

His example had been the solid ground on which we had tried to live our lives and perhaps we saw visiting Shanaj and her family as an opportunity to demonstrate this.

We had not anticipated a lesson in what that really means.

I had taken gifts, colourfully wrapped, and we had both imagined handing them over to Shanaj and her brother and sister. Pictured their eyes shining as they excitedly tore off the paper.

It wasn't like that. After politely thanking me they calmly placed the unwrapped parcels behind them, and returned their attention to us.

I panicked. Had I broken some cultural rule? Did they not like the colour of the wrapping paper?

Oh no, our translator explained, they will be wanting more than anything to open their presents, but they have been taught to value the giver more than the gift.

So here we had it. Three children, the poorest of the poor, setting aside their own agenda to show respect and love to us because at that moment they wanted to demonstrate that we were the most important people in their world.

Today's blog was written by Bridget Plass.

Find out more about her and support her chosen charity here.

To see today's challenge in full - Click HERE

Being Collared (5) - serving or served?

A few weeks ago someone popped their head into the church building as I was putting out chairs and tables and setting things up for the early morning midweek service. The visitor asked me a few questions about the building and whether it was available for hire and if so how much would they be charged.

We chatted for a few minutes longer about this, that and the other and then they asked me what was happening in the building that day. I explained that there was a communion service due to kick off at 09:30 and they asked when the Vicar arrived. When I responded that the Vicar already had arrived they asked where they were - so I told them they were talking to him.

The look on their face was priceless. 'Oh, I thought you were the caretaker, ' was the response, 'I didn't think Vicars did any of the proper jobs in church!'

Pondering that thought for a moment I popped in to the kitchen and put the water boiler on for the tea, coffee and cake session that follows the service and they followed, asking me the most interesting question regarding ministry I'd had for ages:

'Are Vicars allowed to do this sort of thing, after all my old Vicar never did any of that sort of thing!'

'Allowed?' said I, 'If we didn't do this sort of thing much of the work that goes on in churches across the country would never happen.'

What followed was and interesting description of their experience of church and the fact that where they'd come from had been inhabited by what I can only describe as an 'old school' cleric who arrived when everything was set up and left before the clearing up and cleaning took place. The sort of person who lives by the maxim: 'It doesn't start until I arrive and you know when it's ended because I've left!'

Now as much as I know clergy who tell me that this is essential behaviour to ensure that the members don't feel like you're taking their 'little jobs' away from them, I have to say that I can usually be found setting up, clearing away and even doing the washing up. This isn't because I'm driven or seeking to look good but is part of the reality in that it's 'my church' (and that's a statement of belonging - not possession).

Jesus, the Christ, came into this world as a man to be a servant, not to be served and it's better to be a caretaker in my father's house than seek to find a throne for myself in it. I know that deacons were there to do this sort of thing and so free the apostles for higher duties and whilst I understand how this applies to some of the stuff I do in church, the day I consider myself above picking up a broom, moving tables or setting out chairs is the day that I need to return to the pews and relearn what it means to be laos.

Set aside for holy things - humble enough to do those things which are mundane = being a minister of the Gospel.

Christmas Bliss

How exciting it is to be:

Christian - speaks for itself

A dogcollar - speaks for God (sometimes accurately?) submits to authority (usually)

Able to serve others - often and enthusiastically

Able to bless others - Intermittently

Being called and collared at Christmas all adds up (for me at least) to:

BLISS!

Thank you to:

All who have been doing the stuff this year

Those who have given me the opportunity to visit their schools and engage with them

Those who have taken the time to offer correction, support, love with such patience

The Wardens and members of the four churches that are the Parish of Tamworth

My soldiers, cadets and fellow chaplains

Tamworth Street Angels

My colleagues in diocese, deanery and ecumenically

and of course those who read and engage with me in this blog

AND 

(most especially) My long-suffering and extremely patient wife and children 

PAX

All Member Ministry - Spinning Plates

Back from holiday, picking up the pieces and looking towards the second half of 2013 I find myself, once again, faced with so many opportunities that it makes my head spin! There's Tamworth Street Angels, the Mission Shaped Ministry Course, Schools ministry and more besides.

There are so many opportunities in the community we serve and for a small church we are blessed to have some wonderfully committed and engaged members, not that this means all the bases are covered but we do have a high proportion of people doing stuff (and that's a real blessing). and have a few slowly progressing along the path to lay and ordained ministry too (which is a blessing and gift to the church and the wider Church too).

There's enough emails to keep me busy until Christmas and so many more requests and opportunities for us as a church to engage with that I can see there being even more plates to be added before long - guess we need to pray in more workers :-)

I've been amazed at the number of people I have engaged with over the past few weeks who have told me that they couldn't find a role in their local place of worship and have found the common element was that they were looking to be people with influence rather than people who influenced by doing. Not only that but they knew what they didn't like and what they didn't want but were less sure about what they did and all, almost to a person, was upset because they 'weren't listened to' or were basically unable to have their own way.

Interestingly it was the pastor or dogcollar that came in for the real stick because they, 'Just weren't listening to them!'

I rarely find a leader who is unwilling to listen, they just tire of listening to the same old stuff and the demands that are more often than not unaccompanied by offers of real help and engagement.

As we get nearer to the September rush into Christmas can I encourage all of us to stop, pray, read (the Bible), think and discern where and what God is calling us to do - what parts we are called to play (which might not be the same as desire to be) and having done so, let us get off our bottoms and get stuck in to the work of blessing one another, building each other up and getting the work before us done?

A sad, yet equally funny, quote regarding someone who was a 'good giver' (which some consider to be enough these days I'm afraid) who left a church went thus: 'If you lend someone a tenner and never see them again it was probably worth it!'

This is true also of those who think that their presence is justified on the basis of what they give and that should be a factor in how they are regarded by the rest of the church (and especially the leader), but this isn't the case - it's not what you give, but how you give it.

It's not what you give that counts - it's how you serve!

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How's your serve today?