Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Crematoria Cowboys

It is interesting that Ruth Gledhill referred to 'Crematoria Cowboys' in her 2008 piece in the Times, for this is a problem that appears to not only be always with us, but is also, if my recent experiences are anything to go on, on the increase.

When I was training we had a local crematorium where three retired clergy had set themselves up with 'duty days' so that, in the case of local clergy not being available, they would do the service. Now this was quite popular with the local dog-collars because they didn't have to rush about doing services for people they didn't know and they maintained their own round of visits and stuff without the added burden of more work!

Many of the local undertakers knew that if there was no relationship with a local church they could could turn to one of the three ministers and they would be sorted.

Then the diocese sent out a letter to local clergy telling them that they were missing a pastoral opportunity at a church level and the fees were being missed at a church level so they should take every funeral that came their way. Undertakers were asked to route funerals to the nearest church to the deceased should there be no prior relationship and they wished to have a 'church' service.

This touched me at a number of levels:

1. A funeral is an opportunity for a very special pastoral engagement and viewing it as just 'work' was a sad reflection on the attitude of some of those with dog-collars,

2. I was impressed that the three old geezers were offering a service (in every sense) to the community and to their colleagues,

3. I was saddened that despite the pastoral wording, the emphasis appeared to be that the diocese was losing income!

Where I am we have a few people springing up, offering themselves for funerals, in a number of guises and forms. We have:

i. The person who is billing himself as a 'military' chaplain in order to do services for those who have served in one of the three branches of our armed forces,

2. We have those who belong to weird and wonderful denominations ie. the free and independent Anglican Episcopalian Reformed Church (I made the name up - don't want to upset just one group do I?) and are taking services which are billed as CofE at the Crem,

3. The rise in humanist (or 'non-religious') 'ministers' (seems to me that 'humanist minister' is an oxymoron!) appears to be driven by the customers saying they aren't religious! Once that's said it seems that some undertakers offer a 'humanist' (with all that doesn't perhaps offer) to suit their clients needs. I have asked some people who had humanist ministers do a funeral service for a member of their family and found that they didn't specifically ask for a humanist but merely said they 'weren't religious' and the rest just sort of happened.

One staff member of a funeral company about an hour away from me told me that they used some people on a 'booking fee' basis. What this meant was, in this cash-strapped age, that the funeral director took a percentage of the minister's fee for providing the booking. With the number of FDs going to the wall I can understand that any revenue stream is welcome, but I'm not sure this is totally ethical or efficacious and regarding fees and the CofE might mean less services for CofE clergy!

Then we have the diocesan money people, I bet they are most unchuffed at the thought of independent ministers and humanists getting the business, but this is perhaps more fiscal that theological or pastoral?

Considering the fact that the CofE relies so heavily upon retired clergy, I am always saddened when we start talking about restricting fees or taking percentages from them (although of course them offering percentages would be nice) but we shouldn't muzzle the ox that treads the grain, should we?

As for the others - bumped into a freelance dog-collar who was offering prayer and taking 'donations' in a place they had no right to be and when I appeared (looking official) they pretty much legged it! Seems that there is money to be made from funerals and some aren't shy in taking it!

How very mercenary and sad :(

2 comments:

Ray Barnes said...

Sad, but true.
From the other end of the spectrum, perhaps there should be a requirement for anyone over (say 40 years of age) to have a funeral plan,
I know a lot of people shy away from the idea of the inevitability of death, but at least a well drawn up plan would make plain how they preferred to be despatched.
For me, my husband's very clear instructions made that part of his death easier to cope with and took a lot of extra stress off my shoulders.
Should a clergy conducted funeral be asked for there could then be no 'coin tossing' as to who would perform it.

Anonymous said...

We had a chap who was approaching the Services' Clubs in our town as someone with a military background. Upon checking found that he had been a helper at one of the cadet organisations and had no link to any military organisation and wasn't ordained or recognised by any creditable church.

He did have an ordination licence from an American on-line church though!