Can't make it to church - Sunday 12 February 2017

The people of God, the Israelites, are at the border of the Promised Land where Moses, much like Lt Col Tim Collins on the borders of Iraq in 2003, prepares the people to enter this new land – and like Tim Collin’s effort, it’s all there: life, prosperity and blessings - curses, death and destruction. Choosing God gives life, rejecting Him brings death: So take your pick!

Like any other relationship, Choosing God is an ongoing, vital, relationship lived out with the focus of our love (God) each and every day in a total commitment. Just as those troops on the borders of Iraq needed total commitment and a willingness to lay down their lives in selfless commitment, that's what Moses is calling for here. Are you ready and willing to do this?

Hopefully you've said ‘Yes’ – but let’s hope it's not the same ‘Yes’ that the Corinthian believers appear to have; a ‘yes’ that seems just a little stuck in its immaturity. The people are beset by jealousy and quarrelling: All the things that Moses listed as ‘curses, death and destruction’. These are a people who haven't embraced a full on and vibrant faith but rather they live like the world, like people who don't know Jesus, the Christ, at all.

But before we get into a mindset of criticism for the Corinthian believers, let us stop for a minute and consider how different we might be from them. Where I am, with the things I've encountered over the years, I'd have to say the answer is probably: “Not much!”

The next time we find ourselves getting more passionate about being in one camp or another; the next time we find ourselves more bound up in strategies and programmes, looking to build ‘our’ church at the expense of unity and the building of the kingdom of God. Let's remember Moses and his call to us to ‘choose life’ and to put aside the things that we should have left in the playground; to put aside following individuals and to follow that one individual who died that we might have life: Jesus.

Following on from last week’s Gospel we find ourselves again with the Sermon on the Mount and it’s all  about behaviour and attitudes.

“Those who murder will be subject to judgment.”
That’s fair enough, after all, murder is a really serious offence.

But the next bit:
“Anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment,”
that's a bit harsh isn't it?

Then, to make matters worse, the passage is extended  this:
 “Anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court; anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.”

Goodness me, not much wiggle room here is there? But this is more about attitude as I understand it rather than the use of one isolated word. The thing about ‘choosing life’ is that we have a daily relationship with God and the people around us too, and we realise that often it's not just the things we do but the things we say that brings the Church down. So when you know you've broken a relationship or acted foolishly, don't carry on regardless but go make your peace and live in relationship with those you might have offended or hurt.

And when it comes to attitudes and relationships, the greatest of these in import and duty of care is perhaps that which relates to marriage. The good news is that divorce amongst married couples is on the decrease (sadly the opposite is claimed for those who live together and this last clause applies equally to them).

But, divorce is only to be used as a last resort and for serious reasons and the things that start the slippery slope to divorce are what goes on in the head rather than what the hands do! “Everybody looks and thinks,” said a person I was counselling, “It's only wrong if I do something about it!” Jesus would say to them, “So stop looking and thinking the things you do before you weaken the relationship!”

He'd also say that divorce is a last resort; something that comes about because the serious, irreconcilable issues, have broken the marriage. But in your marriage; in all your daily relationships – choose life - work at them, repair the breaches, apologise for the wrongs and reach out your hand in acts of fellowship and love.

The Collect
Eternal God, whose Son went among the crowds and brought healing with his touch: help us to show his love, in your Church as we gather together, and by our lives as they are transformed
into the image of Christ our Lord. Amen.

Lord, help us to choose life and love today, and every day, looking to build our relationship with You. To work at our relationships and to be seen as a person who strives for love and works to reconcile and rebuild. May we go our our relationship and work to make our lives open, honest and holy – for we are Your Church, called to be light and salt to the world around us – make us a mature, living, and holy people we pray. Amen.

Deuteronomy 30:15-20
See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

1 Corinthians 3:1-9
Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarrelling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?
What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labour. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

Matthew 5:21-37
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
“Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfil to the Lord the vows you have made.’But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Post Communion Prayer
Merciful Father,
who gave Jesus Christ to be for us the bread of life,
that those who come to him should never hunger:
draw us to the Lord in faith and love,
that we may eat and drink with him
at his table in the kingdom,
where he is alive and reigns, now and for ever. Amen.

Church - like being family

Today I had one of the nicest compliments anyone could pay with regard to what being part of a church is all about. As they talked about the pressures and politics that sometimes occur when people get together (clubs, interest groups and church all fit here) they said those wonderful words, 'Not like your church which is more like a family!'

These words were a joy to hear for they offered an endorsement from someone who is outside of the membership but close enough to know us, our engagements with the community and the relationships between us. Not that this means we don't have our characters and struggles - for they exist in our little family just like every other family. The good thing is that even when those who might test and try us perform at their worst, they are still loved, tolerated and supported - because that's what families do.

So I move towards Sunday in the joyful knowledge that I exist with a bunch of people who are family because of the blood if Christ and we travel together on the same road, bearing each others trials and seeking to support one another when the bumps appear and the going is tough. Some are close family, some are more distant and others are rarely seen (or have removed themselves for a multitude of reasons) but the reality is that when hardship, trial or tragedy comes knocking - we are still there for one another.

Because we are family.

May tomorrow bring you blessing, joy and God's peace and may you never forget that being family means you are never forgotten or alone - the door (and the welcome) is always there.

So if you've left and wish you hadn't

If you've moved away and feel the pain of separation

If troubles are surrounding you and the pressures are mounting

Remember that Church is a place where you are, and always will be, welcomed.

Pax

Clergy - Having favourites

Had an interesting chat with someone today regarding dogcollars and the issue of 'favourites' and as it unfolded it made me smile as the underlying issues came to the fore. The major issue appeared to be: 'I/we should be the favourites, not them!'

Over the years I have been taught (many, many times) that, 'ministers should never make friends with those in their church'. The interesting thing is that I have often received two pieces of wisdom, often from the same person and they are this:

i. Having friends in your church makes you vulnerable, and

ii. Not having close and accessible friends makes you vulnerable

I would like to think that everyone in the church I belong to is a friend (i.e. we are not enemies) but I am realistic enough to know that not everyone in church will be good, close, or best friends and that none of them will ever be my very bestest friend ever (that's God and the Wife).

Acquaintances - Some will never be more than casual acquaintances. I know their faces and a little of their home situation (married, kids, and the like) but I know I'm never going to be close because we don't share the same hobbies, interests and stuff. These are the people you know in passing but never really get to stop and engage with - and this is often not for the want of trying. Acquaintances might be the starting point but, for some, can also be the pinnacle of the relationship!

There are varying degrees of friendship:

Friends - I usually find that people who consider me to be a 'friend' actually become that but others, regardless of how much you try, will never become friends because they don't really want such a relationship. Friends are the people you spend time with because they, and you, want to. You might not share much the same but you enjoy each others company. I would hope that this would be the minimum position for Christians - but sadly not always!

Good Friends - These are the people who share some of the same interests and goals and strive to spend time with you and respond warmly when you invite them to do the same. They are part of your middle circle on the friend atom and are people who can be relied upon and who can rely upon you. The sort of people who will be there should you need them on a 'works both ways' basis!

Many of those I consider to be 'good friends' are people that disagree with me on some issues and don't share the same values, attitudes and beliefs perhaps - but being around them (and they around me) is something that is positive and enlivening.

Close Friends - For me these are the people I know I can open up to without fear and with whom I will pray and bring my major issues too safe in the knowledge that the relationship is flat (i.e. we are equals and have mutual respect and trust). These form the inner circle of friends and are eclipsed only by those at the very centre. These are people with whom I share a faith life and know I can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with when it comes to 'being Church' and 'doing the stuff'. I'm happy to fill my life with 'close friends' and yet so many who perhaps publicly crave this want the position but are not willing to pay the price of mutual commitment and 'sold out on Christ-ness' that it demands. This, like any front line role, means that unless we are prepared and willing to do this means we are not covering each other's backs and are in fact liabilities rather than supportive and protective (for that's what close friends are): That said, I'm happy for close friends to fall and fail (because we all do) but the commitment needs to be real.

Best Friend - This nuclear group consists of the very closest people and the number of these is limited and the people are extraordinarily special. I'd have to say that this contains my Wife and a few others. Theoretically all have the potential to be here and yet few are actually are willing to invest the commitment that allows people this close. Interestingly some here might only see me as a good or close friend - but they are those I'd share the deepest innermost bits, my fears, hopes and the nasty bits I'd rather keep hidden. The very centre of this is my other half for she is brutally honest and wonderfully supportive and often shows me the sort of love and acceptance that only she (and God) can.

So that's my four levels of friendship; each leading onwards and upwards. Offering, opening up and supporting, caring and engaging with others in the same way!

The key to ministers having friends is that they do not prefer some over others and this is something I have sought to do. The door has been open and the opportunity is there for anyone to come and be part of my life. The trouble is that some have taken this offer seriously whilst others have said they wanted to be friends but that wasn't what they really wanted. In fact some I have spent time with in the (now obviously) mistaken belief that we were becoming friends have later informed me that this was never the case (and whilst that wounded I soon realised that I probably much better off in that they went!). making friends is making oneself vulnerable and that's never comfortable now, is it?

So should pastors, vicars and leaders have friends in their churches?
Of course they should!

Should pastors, vicars and leaders restrict or choose who can become friends?
First response is 'No' but there does need to be some wisdom and discernment involved - to allow some close might well be folly indeed.

I hope this makes people think and helps some to develop proper Christian and enabling relationships in their congregations and fellowships - it's what Church is all about - innit?

Angular Myrtle

Talking to some schoolchildren last week, one of them told me the ‘Lady who owns Germany is called Angular Myrtle!” I was pretty impressed because, spelling apart, I’m not so sure many of the adults I meet every day would get as near as that. The problem was that I wanted to praise the child for knowing the answer but felt an overwhelming desire to correct them too!

This is a problem we all encounter on pretty much a daily basis, the “Yes, but . . “ moments that we have where we want to affirm and reward and yet feel the need to offer correction too. When I was a schoolchild we had a teacher (nicknamed ‘Moonbeam’ because of his bald head) who boasted that he never awarded an ‘A’ because there was always a ‘but’ or an ‘and’ attached to every essay. No matter how hard we tried to please the man, he never wavered and would always point out how much further we could have gone.

The problem is that many of the people I meet seem to have the same idea when it comes to God. That no matter how much we change and regardless of the effort we put into our lives, He’s never happy with us. This, I am glad to be able to report, is not the truth.

I often hear children say, “Harold be thy name,” when saying the Lord’s Prayer. I guess this means we’re on first name terms with God! So let me tell you what Harold wants from you and wants to give you.

Harold has your pictures on His ‘fridge. He cheers when we get it right and celebrates every minor triumph that we have. He weeps over our tragedies and is, if we but reach out to touch Him, but a fingertip away. Yes, God takes pleasure in us and wants, like every good parent, the very best for us. But He wants relationship, not religion – for religion only tells you that you are wrong regardless of how far you’ve come. Religion tells you to give more, be more and then tells you that you are still wrong. This isn’t Christianity, for Christianity is about relationship with God.

So why not stop for a moment and thank God for your friends, family, successes and the things you are proud of – because God loves to celebrate with you. Now think of the things that trouble you - the problems, the people who are struggling and the things that need to change. Give them to God, because He is with you as you face them and will, if you ask, give you the strength, and the means, to overcome them and be blessed and a blessing to others.

In the Bible God says that He will be with us, by our side, to the very end – not a hollow promise, so why not give Him a try and find out how much Harold loves you today?

Pax