Where does your passion lie?

Yesterday afternoon I learned of the death of a friend and mentor. A man who was no saint, he was the first to admit that he could be a grumpy old wotsit at times! A man who spoke loving of his wife and proudly of his children. A man who could work out ip addresses in his head and possessed a love of tinkering, building and repairing things; the possessor of a childlike inquisitiveness. He was patient in some things, especially the building of his ships - his eye for detail ensuring that the rigging sagged enough to resemble the full-sized thing - and latterly, things that chugged and steamed.

I hadn't seen him for years and last spoke with him about six months ago but I knew he was there (and hopefully he knew the same was true of me) and that was enough to make the world run right along its tracks; and we both knew that eternity was to be ours together and this made for something rather special.

The overarching truth, that one thing that surpassed it all, was that this man was a Christian. Not the same flavour of me, and I'm sure that I often caused him to sigh at my enthusiasm and love of things I'm sure he didn't always consider to be in the best of taste, and yet we were brothers. He was rather conservative, preferring the 'decency' of a regulated church to the mayhem he thought he saw in the sort of church I enjoyed. He loved the Bible and prayer and was pastorally aware and active; a good church member.

But it is his steadfast and unremitting passion for God, his trust in Him and his desire to overcome himself to be the man that he knew Jesus, the Christ, had died to make him, that made him so special. A man reconciled to the Father by the Cross of The Son and, although he was not a card carrying tongues speaking holy roller, the Holy Spirit dwelt within him and enabled him to walk closer to God than many who display the outer, more exuberant, signs of Pentecost!

When we last spoke, after hearing of his single cylinder steam engine, new ways in his old church and his sadness that some who professed Christ presented something so much less, our conversation turned to passion and the fact that he saw so little of it in many of the Christians around him. He was sad that so many of those in leadership were more fired up about the things of the world than they were about populating heaven. He sighed as he spoke of the distance the Church of today had apparently put between it and the Gospel, the making of Church into a political body more taken up with proclaiming rights for others than they were about preaching Jesus.

So, daily office said, my thoughts turn to him and, having commended him to God's grace, live, care and mercy, his family and those upon whom he made a mark. I am proud to have known this man and blessed to know that our separation, however short or long it might be, is but temporary and that eternity will be ours together.

But without a passion for the lost I am aware that many others I know, those who are distant from God, eternity with God will not be theirs and that the offer of the reconciliation, healing, wholeness and that oddly warming inner presence of God, will be left unclaimed.

And with that in mind, I realise where my passion lies: I again understand what my calling is, for it is (as Charlie Spurgeon had it):

To be as one beggar showing another beggar where there is bread.

This surely is where our passion, as believers, becomes faith and as we make Christ know become reality in us and others.

RIP Robin Woolley

A true friend and brother

When doing less is more

I have recently been faced with the opportunity to take on more and to enable me to do it I have begun to do less (something I have found rather tough as I have generally enjoyed so many opportunities over the years) and I'm finding it rather invigorating!

Earlier on in the wonderful world of ministry I assumed that if we built it then they (meaning the members) would come and this would attract others (meaning non-members) to come as a result. Of course the reality was that if you build it, they will watch (and then suggest other things you could be doing too)!

The saddest thing was that those who had the suggestions were only trying to be helpful rather than actually trying to get stuck in and physically help!

Sadder still are the 'Billy and Johnny*' types who have many suggestions (although they often sound like demands and criticism) regarding everything that they didn't like and what they didn't want (and blow me down, there is always so much of that) and (sadly) never manage to move any further - meaning they never get stuck in or do anything of merit, they just criticise and generally act as a damp squib (or as one church member put it once - they were the sort of people who could brighten up any party by leaving).

So I have some experience of the pressures and pitfalls of ministry and yet I still have amassed a few areas of engagement which have conspired to add up to too many. So I'm praying hard and looking to see what I can put aside so that I can do more of the less that is left. Doubtless some of it will be sadly given up, for I love pretty much everything I am engaged in, but there's a time to pick up and a time to put down and I have definitely arrived at the latter.

So here's a little plea for prayer and wisdom (for me) as I discern directions and make decisions.

I think I might just need it.

Thanks,

V

* I used to love the Hale and Pace characters with their, 'What are we doing today Johnny?' 
Billy: 'We're going to build a ....'

Ebb and Flow

I have received an email relating to the blog from a lady asking me three questions:

1. How is it you appear to post lots and then so little?

2. Why don't you do more theology like the other blogs?  and

3. Why don't you nail your colours to the mast and make a stand against those with whom you disagree?

The reason that you find 'feast and famine' is quite simply a reflection of the working day and those things that occur within it. Some days I manage to get back to the palace and will reflect on those things that have occurred and the blog is part of my personal reflection process. I talk things out on the screen and leave them hanging to be considered, revisited and generally dealt with in some way. The natural ebb and flow of the daily engagements, the challenges and the funny all have the potential to find their way onto the blog.

That said, I have noticed that some of those who blog appear to have their lives totally taken up with clever things that they have sourced or sought. A conversation with a prolific blogger caused me some discomfort as I became aware that they were not engaging with me (and others) but merely seeking 'copy' for their blog. The blog is a servant of me and my ministry and (hopefully) a source of challenge and information for some of those I am engaged with in various ways, it is not my master!

The second question regarding theology is an interesting one as I think that there is a great deal of theology in what is to be found in this place. What I think the question is asking is, "Why don't you use theologyspeak?" The answer is that as one who seeks to be a theologian my task is to make the difficult concepts and issues that occur in Christian living understandable and to encourage those who stumble upon the simple concepts to make them everyday occurences. One of the courses of study I undertook challenged us to write about theological issues without the theological shorthand (eschatalogical, soterological, theodicy and the like).

A lecture I was most privileged to attended this week was full of what someone described as 'proper theology' as we considered 'kenosis, hierarchy and power and discussed the impact of this topic on eschatology and soteriology as we developed a reality which we called 'kenarchy' (a fantastic concept which disarms liberation theologians and also empowers them)'. As we were getting ready to go, one of my clergy colleagues told one of those they'd come with that, "It must have been good, didn't undertsand a word!' Now, I'm sure they were only joking, but this is what so many people assume theology is for - big words and more confusion.

When it comes to 'nailing colours to the mast, I think I have, and do. I am not prepared to trade insults for this benefits no one and serves only to polarise. I am always willing to dialogue, but not willing to be labelled, shouted at or abused for the sake of a man-made issue - that said, I am prepared to endure same for the Gospel and the name of God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). I don't think anyone who has read this blog will be left in any doubt that my humour is flawed (as is the man) and my heart is set on God and His work of making disciples, coming alongside others (paraclete) and preaching the Gospel in and out of season. I don't see a place for condemning in the Christian life but then again neither do I see any call to deny that which we hold to be true (as long as it conforms with Biblical standards that is).

I used one of those word cloud applications on the blog to see what words it came up with and what it focussed on and (happilly) this is what came out the other end:

Seems about right!

I hope this answers the questions and hopefully those who pop by will understand why I don't write on the same topic areas as others and why you won't find such wonderfully worded theology that you need to lie down after readings it - I think the humour does that on its own :-)

Church and the things that matter!

It is odd but as I work to become a recovering workaholic (I can stop doing stuff, I'm just a bit too busy to do it at the moment) I find my engagements bring me into contact with so many people who have their own list of what is important. The interesting thing is that the list varies wildly from person to person and every now and then I find a new, and sometimes odd, concern that I have never thought of.

This week, the three major concerns (in no particular order) have been:

Time off - met people who told me that I 'must' take time off for conferences, retreats, courses and the like. Apparently I'm not functioning well unless I do at least two from a list which included Spring Harvest, Soul Survivor, New Wine, Greenbelt, Leadership conferences, Alpha Conferences, retreats, day conferences and the like.

Numbers - The church is pretty obsessed by numbers and the issue of sustainability is high on the agenda of many with whom I engage in my missioner role. The problem is that we are concerned with how many BOPS (Bum On Pews) we have and not without good reason for one minister I spoke with was in a declining church and was desperate to make the 100 on a Sunday benchmark so that they could be a 'larger church', something they felt brought credibility and the potential for longevity.

Sadly, some of those I spoke to were moved towards church growth merely because they couldn't pay the parish share, sad because I thought that Matthew 28 should provide enough impetus on its own. in fact parish share and the spectre of a contracting church were the sword of Dan O'Cleese (sic!) that rendered impotence and energised in equal measure across my conversations.

Healthy Dogcollar or Healthy Church - the most interesting of all has to be this issue. Should the dogcollar be out there meeting people, winning the lost, standing with the broken and disposed and generally doing the stuff or should the dogcollar be more concerned with reading their Bible, building up themselves, going on retreats and generally being concerned with their own spiritual wellbeing at the expense of the church?

A few told me that what was most important was their own walk and that if this meant that the church took second place then so be it. A healthy, committed and Spirit-filled minister who took a day off each way to pray and read their Bible, took time to attend meetings that built them up and restricted evening engagements to but one a week was the primary goal, for it was first and foremost about them and their walk first.

Others told me that they were concerned with the church they were in and that this mean that they were called to support, guide and lead them. Putting themselves second and those they served first was apparently a recipe for a growing and healthy church but a sometimes tired and stretched dogcollar, but, they said, "Isn't this the calling? Aren't we supposed to take up our cross every day?"

Some insight into the things that others see important and some of the conversations this week. Interesting things because the work/life/spiritual balance is important (says he who often gets it wrong) and whilst we have a calling as Christian, there is also the calling as dogcollars and all that that brings to the party. What do you think I wonder?

One dogcollar told me that he knows more stressed than happy clergy and mentioned a few who he knew who had pulled stumps and gone of to 'something else'. A sad situation indeed :(

Pax

A better day indeed!

Finished yesterday early (about 2:30am) and started a bit later than usual (about 6:45am) with the daily office and then off to buy comestibles for the Chapter meeting and a discussion on sustainability and a cute little graph that maps financial against missional (I'll show you tomorrow). From that rushed back to do a funeral service in church followed by an interment (Autumn appears to finally be with us) and back to QTH (Amateur radio speak for 'home') and a meeting to arrange another funeral. From that rushed back out and visited hospital in Sutton Coldfield, picked up No. ! child on way back and then in for Kid's Club - played pool, Xbox 360 and made toast for the kids who came - excellent stuff or what?

Back to the Vicar's Palace and had a night off with Mrs. Vicarage and now, having send children No. 3 & 4 off to bed (1 doing school stuff and 2 tinkering with wireless headphones) and time for a recap on the day - evening office, tea and an early night.

Thank you to those who prayed for the 'Mission-Shaped Introduction - we had twenty-five turn up for the first night and there were a few churches from within the Deanery (and without) represented, which bodes well for the future of the Church and the hope of the Gospel for the lost!

Thanks to those who read these scribblings and the prayer for those whom I seek to serve, and for me in my paucity of . . just about everything! And for those who take heart, find a glimmer of God and a hope in their own lives - thanks for coming on this journey with me. May God bless you richly :-)

Pax

In Tents Christianity

One of the greatest tasks any pastor has is that of helping people deal with the tough things of life. Of all of those the hardest has to be the seeing of oneself as others see us and then seeing ourselves as God does.

We mumble our excuses and point to the people, places and events that have (mis)shaped us and explain that it is not 'our fault'. We look at the 'good' things we do in the hope that they will mitigate those bad things, forgetting the words in the Eucharist where we ask God to forgive us that bad rather than merely note the good. For we cannot paint over the bad with good deeds and the weight of our flaws is far greater than that of our perfections!

Here it is 2:45 and the house is still. There is no sound from outside and inside only the gentle snoring of the Chocolate Lab' (crushing my feet!) breaks the silence. The world where I am slumbers and a new dawn approaches. What opportunities will today bring? What chance encounters (chance or ordained - perhaps this is merely a matter of perspective) awaits us?

Today we, like those involved with the OLSX camp outside St Paul's, will be faced with choices. They might not be in the public or media gaze like those at St Paul's and our actions may be seen by no one but us (and of course, God) but we need to act as if we were for then we might act as if God was watching too!

Some time back, walking with a colleague, we saw a member of his church. "Quick," said they, "Let's cross here and miss them!" with that they crossed and headed for an alley only to find another member of their congregation who stopped them and told of the ills being suffered by the person who we had turned off to avoid. As the did the very same person turned into the alley (which with the four of us was becoming the local equivalent of Picadilly Circus) and was greeted warmly by my colleague (who engaged with them, asked the right questions and looked every inch the concerned and caring cleric).

As we finally departed from the ensuing conversation the comment was made that we'd, "Got out of that quite well!" Where I saw a pastoral opportunity my colleague saw a hindrance and a delay - only the gaze of an admiring parishioner made the engagement (sought and avoided) happen. The sadness is that this minister still acts like that every day - sadder still, so (I'm sure) do I.

As we enter today pray:

That those who bear the label 'beloved of God' act as they should, not because others are watching but because we know it is the right thing to do.

That humility, love, charity, mercy and forgiveness are ours because we strive to live, and look, like Jesus not because others see us but because that's how we want to live.

That the person you saw in the mirror before you read this will live in the grace of God and under His gaze and love - today and every day of our life (and because of this, so might others).

May God bless us and make us the person He sees rather than the person no one sees!

Pax