Saturday 26 November 2011

Church and the things that matter!

It is odd but as I work to become a recovering workaholic (I can stop doing stuff, I'm just a bit too busy to do it at the moment) I find my engagements bring me into contact with so many people who have their own list of what is important. The interesting thing is that the list varies wildly from person to person and every now and then I find a new, and sometimes odd, concern that I have never thought of.

This week, the three major concerns (in no particular order) have been:

Time off - met people who told me that I 'must' take time off for conferences, retreats, courses and the like. Apparently I'm not functioning well unless I do at least two from a list which included Spring Harvest, Soul Survivor, New Wine, Greenbelt, Leadership conferences, Alpha Conferences, retreats, day conferences and the like.

Numbers - The church is pretty obsessed by numbers and the issue of sustainability is high on the agenda of many with whom I engage in my missioner role. The problem is that we are concerned with how many BOPS (Bum On Pews) we have and not without good reason for one minister I spoke with was in a declining church and was desperate to make the 100 on a Sunday benchmark so that they could be a 'larger church', something they felt brought credibility and the potential for longevity.

Sadly, some of those I spoke to were moved towards church growth merely because they couldn't pay the parish share, sad because I thought that Matthew 28 should provide enough impetus on its own. in fact parish share and the spectre of a contracting church were the sword of Dan O'Cleese (sic!) that rendered impotence and energised in equal measure across my conversations.

Healthy Dogcollar or Healthy Church - the most interesting of all has to be this issue. Should the dogcollar be out there meeting people, winning the lost, standing with the broken and disposed and generally doing the stuff or should the dogcollar be more concerned with reading their Bible, building up themselves, going on retreats and generally being concerned with their own spiritual wellbeing at the expense of the church?

A few told me that what was most important was their own walk and that if this meant that the church took second place then so be it. A healthy, committed and Spirit-filled minister who took a day off each way to pray and read their Bible, took time to attend meetings that built them up and restricted evening engagements to but one a week was the primary goal, for it was first and foremost about them and their walk first.

Others told me that they were concerned with the church they were in and that this mean that they were called to support, guide and lead them. Putting themselves second and those they served first was apparently a recipe for a growing and healthy church but a sometimes tired and stretched dogcollar, but, they said, "Isn't this the calling? Aren't we supposed to take up our cross every day?"

Some insight into the things that others see important and some of the conversations this week. Interesting things because the work/life/spiritual balance is important (says he who often gets it wrong) and whilst we have a calling as Christian, there is also the calling as dogcollars and all that that brings to the party. What do you think I wonder?

One dogcollar told me that he knows more stressed than happy clergy and mentioned a few who he knew who had pulled stumps and gone of to 'something else'. A sad situation indeed :(


Pax

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I attend New Wine conferences and other events to keep myself fresh and to recharge my batteries as I work in a struggling and declining parish.

This is the only time I feel like a Christian and when I can find God away from people who just take and expect me to do everything.

Perhaps you should do the same?

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

I do understand what you are saying but I am concerned that you appear to be so damaged by your parish and those in it. I would love to go to some things but to be honest they are generally out of reach because they cost so much.

I attended a New Wine group meeting this week and really benefitted from the opportunity to spend some time with God in a different setting. I hope to do more of this and have booked some days for a few training and retreat events.

Thanks for the comments - prayers and thoughts are with you,

Vic

Revsimmy said...

As @artsyhonker tweeted earlier, it ought to be a Sabbath issue. God has created us to take a day of rest and spiritual refreshment per week, and at regular intervals at other times. And this applies to us dogcollars just as much as to others. This si not to say that "rules" should be applied rigidly, but the Sabbath was made for all humankind. It is important that we operate from inner peace with God and this needs to be maintained if we are to be effective in our lives and ministries.

There is also an issue of individual personality. Some of us need time to wihdraw and recharge more than others who may draw their energy from mixing with others. Neither is better or worse - just different.

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

I agree with you (but am worried when people speak of being dissipated by their parishioners).

I love what I do and find myself energised, challenged and blessed by it. I find my days off a struggle but am struggling to engage with them. Oddly I find that many tell me how wrong I am not doing conferences and doing awaydays and point to their own shining examples.

Thanks for comments,

V

Anonymous said...

Vic,

I work on a Sunday and have a day off during the week, offer three monings, tor afternoons two evenings (afternoons off) and any other time is mine for writing services, praying and study.

Some weeks I might visit a group that interests me and do at least one week away every quarter. I know that many of my colleagues think I'm lightweight and barel conceal their contempt.

But as you say, we are merely different.

I find you and your posts regreshingly honest and extremely provocative with your own quirky style thrown in.

Bless you,

D

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

We do what we do and we are who we are and within that bring whatever, and whoever, we are to the table.

It is obvious that we all need our Sabbaths and time with God is as important as time with family and friends in terms of sanity, sanctity and life.

Thanks for your comments - I am glad that you get something from what I writer.

Pax

UKViewer said...

I think that there are so many angles to what you write here. But it seems to me that the bottom line is that no matter how much you give, someone will expect more.

In these circumstances, surely in the interest of self-preservation and the sanity of family life, you need to 'make space' in your diary, not just for family & friends, but also for spiritual refreshment and nourishment.

I know it's not easy, and I know you say that engagement gives you energy, but if we over do it, doesn't something whither and shrivel up - Our individual identity and relationship with God?

I am retired, but find myself quite busy lots of the time, most of self-imposed. But I've learned that I also need time apart from the business to just 'be' and I can only find that on even a half-day retreat, in a quiet, but sacred space such as a priory close to where I live.

I return to family, friends and church, refreshed and renewed, but more importantly, back in touch with my relationship with God.

Thecurateswife said...

As a 'wife of', I look on amazed at the way a parish can perceive the work of their vicar;- on the one hand they want them to be available 24/7 and complain if no one picks up the phone or visits. On the other hand they complain if the sermons do not have 'anything to get their teeth into'(except the vicar) as there is not enough depth. Seems like an impossible job to me!

Nancy Wallace said...

You probably intended it as humour, but on reading your post I'm really bothered by the way you use 'dogcollar' for a person, including a person called into a particular leadership role in the church. It sounds as if you are denigrating yourself. If you used comparable language for any other individual or group of people you would probably see it as discriminatory. Woops! I've just noticed your 'BOPS'. PS. I'm not a 'dogcollar' but I do wear a clerical collar.

Having got that of my chest - you raise important questions in this post about the balance between nourishing your own spiritual/human life and serving the needs of the parish.

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

Nancy,

Thanks for your comments. Seems that I am stuck between a couple of rocks here as when I speak of being a priest I come in for flak too! Same goes for those who populate our pews because they are laity (for we are all Laos).

Not my intention to denigrate the person or the role either side of the rail - sorry it rankles.

Thanks again,

V

Nancy Wallace said...

Vic - thanks for your response to my comment.

I understand the difficulty you describe about language. Some people won't accept 'priest' even if it does mean 'presbyter' (a word not usually understood). If you call yourself 'Minister' that seems to imply only people who are ordained or officially authorised are ministers of the gospel. I'm not rankled, just amused, plus a little concerned that calling oneself 'the dogcollar' is a small step from 'dogsbody' and 'bums on pews' reinforces a passive model of the assembled congregation. There's a particular difficulty for some ordained women in the word 'dogcollar'. You know what a female dog is called!

That aside, I hope you find refreshment and balance in your work and rest. I think we all have to find what works individually and according to context. Thank God, we're not all the same.