Wednesday 10 March 2010

CoE a Golgafrinchamist Denomination?

Having seen what some of the exceedingly senior pointyheads have given us regarding basic Christian belief, life in a pluralistic society and parallel communities whereby orthodox and liberal all co-exist in sublime (and blissful) tolerance of each other I can only assume the CofE have adopted a new theological approach to 'Church'.
     
For some reason I am drawn back to the wonderfully insightful theological tomes by the Rt Revd Douglas Adams (Dcsd) which introduces us to a people from a planet called Golgafrincham. In encountering people from this planet, who were on the way to colonise and populate a new planet Ford asks them when they're due to land. It transpires that they aren't actually going to land, more sort of 'crash' into the destination planet. I can see parallels between the dialogue Ford has with the Captain of the Golgafrincham 'B Ark' transport ship and the CofE as it is presenting at the moment, especially the bit where having heard what the Captain has to say, sums him and the people within the ship in a succinct and obviously accurate way:
"You're a load of bloody useless loonies!'
FORD: so thanks for the drinks and if you could sort of drop us off and the nearest, convenient planet..?   
CAPTAIN: Ah well, that’s a little difficult you see because our trajectory- thingy, was preset before we left Golgafrincham.   
FORD: When are you gonna reach the planet you’re meant to be colonising?
CAPTAIN: Oh, well we nearly there!… I think… yes. Any second now. Well it’s probably time I got out of the bath in fact. Ha ha. Oh… I don’t know though… why stop just when you’re enjoying it, you know I always say…   
ARTHUR: So we’re actually going to land in a minute?   
CAPTAIN: Well not, not, not so much land in fact, I think as far as I can remember we’re programmed to, er crash on it.   
ARTHUR and FORD: ”Crash”?   
CAPTAIN: Yes. It’s all part of the plan. … I think. There was terribly good reason for it which I can’t… quite… remember at the moment.   
FORD: [Yells in exasperation] You’re a load of useless, bloody loonies!!   
CAPTAIN: Ah, yes, that was it, that was reason it was. Ha. Pass me the loofah will you?   
[The ship crash lands]
               
If the offerings of the past few days are anything to go by you'd better go and fasten your seat belts!


ps. A bright side to life is the Arsenal victory over Porto last night - there's always something to cheer you up somerhwre isn't there?

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