Thursday 16 February 2012

Greece - A Lesson from Counselling?

Many years back when I was still pretty new in the wonderful world of counselling I was passed a couple who had agreed to separate but were also asked, by a court, to look at some form of marriage counselling which was why they were there. As we progressed one of the pair began to set goals and targets for the other. It was simple, should they meet the goal the prospect of reconciliation increased and this was a sign of their commitment to the continuation of the relationship.

As each goal or task was set the other party agreed that they would have a go at meeting it and after a few weeks we reached the stage where the other party had to agree that indeed, their other half had not only met the requirements but had perhaps exceeded them. What became obvious was that although they were changing there was no intent on the part of the 'demanding' partner to accept any need for change or modification of their behaviour on their side of the relationship.

Eventually (week four if I recall correctly) it came to pass that, with yet another demand being placed on the weaker of the two, that the stage was reached where they had to say, "Sorry, I can't give any more!" The result of this was to have the consistently demanding, and stronger positioned person, throw up their hands and proclaim that there was no way that they could ever continue the relationship and with that they left.

A few weeks later I met the same person with their new partner and another person I knew from a different setting who gave me a bit of a strange look (which at the time I thought nothing of). I realised why I'd got the look a few weeks later when, having bumped into them, I found out that they were the cousin of the 'demanding' party in my attempt at marriage counselling who informed me that the 'new' partner had been in the background for a number of months and was the reason the previous partner had been expelled. Not only that but the cousin had been confided in regarding the marriage and had been told that they were going to use the counselling sessions to put more and more demands and increasing pressure on their 'ex' in the hope that they'd fold their hand and leave the marriage. The 'refusal' to change had been all that was waited for as it gave them the ability to tell everyone how their former partner had been unwilling to change and how that had caused the break-up.

But apparently everyone who knew of the other person realised what was going on and although they'd gotten what they wanted in that they could claim to be the innocent party they also lost most of the friends who'd known of the person in the background.

The reason for this story? I get the feeling that those who shake the change in the European Union are doing the same with Greece. Every time they ask for an assurance the Greek government debates and agrees to meet whatever demand is placed upon them, even though they know the Greek people are being pressed harder and harder and that the rule of law is becoming thin in an increasing desperate people. But the time will surely come when the Greek nation says, "No More!" and a parting of the ways will come - which is just what I think certain nations in Europe want.

Divorce but with Greece bearing the blame.


Politics and hypocrisy - sadly just different words for the same thing!

1 comment:

UKViewer said...

It's strange how individual and corporate bad behaviour imitate each other.

Sometimes I wonder if the EU was actually a good idea, which has benefited all, or a bad idea, made to work, as there was to much time, energy, money and political prestige invested in it?

In the balmy days, before the UK joined the EU, there was the British Commonwealth, which gave us like minded trading partners, albeit, dispersed world wide. We seemed to sacrifice all of that, to become closer to the EU and for some sort of trading advantage. I myself think that we should have done what Norway and Switzerland have done. Stay outside, but develop closer trading links. Norway retains its independence of thought and action, while working with NATO and other treaty organisations in exactly the same way as our EU allies.

Europe has proven to be an expensive option, to exit now would cripple the UK economically as we have so much tied up in it. The same goes for Greece, whose Government (not sure about the people) are desperate to stay in the EU, possibly as they've had more out than they put in.

From what I've read of the background to the crisis, there is a huge culture of non-tax paying in Greece, along with overmanning through nepotism and business being conducted more under the counter than over it. Not sure how true this is, but you can pile the austerity on the people, but you won't change their culture overnight. That's a long term job, bit like saving a failing marriage in many ways.