Journal: full on with a tinge of sadness

Another manic day - with many highs and a few lows today as I met with people who are rigidly fixed and obviously unwilling to entertain any viewpoint but their own. I live by the mantra, "It's good to talk!"

If I disagree with people then I want to talk with them to understand their point of view and share mine so that in the worst outcome possible we might at least understand where each person is coming from. Of course the best outcome is that we learn from each other and gain insight and perhaps move closer together - it's not about changing people's minds, it's about bringing understanding and harmony.

 Someone I dialogued with last weekend, on this same isssue but from the opposite camp to today's main protagonist, used theological thinking and Bible to underpin their argument. It seems interesting, and extremely sad, that many of the growing divisions in the Church of England see power vs Biblical views as the contest.

I need to get a grip on this. I need to have an understanding of what's going on so that I might be able to pastor with integrity. Time for some retreat and study time methinks.

Cherry on today's cake has to be the patronal service to celebrate the life and ministry of St Chad. We celebrated the Eucharist, shared food and drink and brought some of our favourite bits of poetry and writings and shared them. Church like what it should be :-)

So Lord, for those whom my ministry today has touched, I thank You.
May the man I am never get in the way of the God You are.

For the needs I have met, I am grateful;
For the needs I have caused I am truly sorry.
For the blessings received, the sins forgiven and the bread given,
Lord accept my love and praise.
And tonight as I sleep may You be my protection and my rock.

Journal: Not a laughing matter

The end of the week has arrived and to be honest, insofar as having had a holiday goes, it's not gone well. One of the problems of 'living over the shop' is the fact that unless you go away, you're a captive audience. This week saw three days lost to various issues and a fourth taken up by Holocaust Memorial Day - so I'll admit it, as a week off it sort of failed.

BUT (and there's always a but isn't there?) I have managed to sleep and have realised what a normal week for many of my colleagues looks like and now I know, I'll try to make one like this again next week.

But this has been a very positive week overall and there are so many things to thank God for in the opportunities to stand with others and to make a difference. I've also realised that I have a different way of praying emerging from my daily office and the journaling (which writing makes more formal in some strange way A just like posting my morning office) - and that has to be good, doesn't it?

This week has also made me very aware of the ways the Church in it's local arrangements and organisations can turn people away through the petty squabbles and Machiavellian activities. Praying about it the daily Office came rushing to my rescue with some words from St Paul:

"I hear you have divisions; and I believe it. They make clear those who among you are genuine."

Tough words, but then again perhaps being tough is not something Church does well anymore and needs to be doing more of. Looking at the trail of carnage left in the wake of some people I realise that they are very much like twisters, those devastating, swirling, winds that create so much havoc in the US, and to be feared. But just as nature causes the twisters, so too does human nature cause those who twist words and create havoc in the Church and in the world.

I am at a loss for words at times (yeah really, me for whom words are some of my very bestest friends) and all I can do is drag the dying embers of what was recently a healthy blaze to the foot of the cross and pray that God's breath - His ruach- would rekindle what is before Him.

And looking to HMD - help me to teach the children that genocide and intolerance are never a laughing matter.

Over to You God!