I challenged a colleague over this and was told, "The members don't want to be told they're wrong all the time, do they?" And of course they don't but they should surely expect, and welcome, gentle correction, shouldn't they? Anything else is merely leaving people to their own devices. My colleague, with typical humour (or was it resignation?), told me that there were, "Many Christians who welcomed their errors and shortcomings being pointed out and worked on by the Vicar. The problem is that none of them come to this church!" Wherein lies the problem!
Another minister I know views Thomas (the doubter) as the, 'Cancer that destroys the Church!' When it comes to doubt or areas of unbelief they are animated and rather vocal in calling upon members to believe because anything else is the path to separation from God and the demise of the Church. "Put aside your doubts and live in freedom," was their mantra. But is is true? It is odd that this same person also tells people they are' safe' because they come to church and 'do stuff'. 'Safe' is indeed a moveable, and variable, feast!
If I tell people that they are safe and that all is well then I'm sure this will leave them happy and will mean that they live in the peace (at all levels) that those words bring. But if it is a false peace then what I am doing is sowing seeds that, when the harvest comes, will bring a healthy crop of weeds. Worse still is that if I am telling people that all is well when perhaps it isn't the issues that need to be addressed and remedied will remain untouched and I have perhaps condemned them (and surely condemned myself by my complicity) to live in sinful situations.
We are called to carry each other's load (Galatians 6.2), to restore those 'caught in sin' (Galatians 6.1) and to let our 'Yes be Yes and our No be No' (Matthew 5.37) and this means that we provide a place of honesty and love. The problem is that we live in a world where people, thinking they're being 'kind', offer what they think is supportive and kind words when, instead, God calls us to tell the truth in love (Ephesians 4.15).
Church should be a place of safety but for it to be this we need to make it a place of loving honesty and openness; something I have in times past been guilty of not always doing choosing 'peace' and 'keeping members' rather than bringing loving correction.
Now I am very aware that this is not the easiest of areas to discuss because those outside the Church will see hypocrisy (when it's merely being human) and those inside the Church will . . .
Will what?
Cry out to be told they're doing it wrong, or at least could do it better?
Move somewhere else if you point out, however gently, that they are in error?
Welcome an honest leader trying to fulfil their role with integrity and love?
You tell me - and tell me how you would like to have it as a member and as a minister.
Inclusive not permissive
Loving not condoning
Seeing not ignoring
Pax
