Can't make it to church - 15 March 15

Today is not, as many will have it, 'Mother's Day' but 'Mothering Sunday'!

Now am I just being a bit of a pedant here? Are the words 'Mothering' and 'Mother' not interchangeable?

The answer is actually a resounding 'NO'! The former speaks of something to do with Church and the later something to do with card manufacturers, florists, chocolatiers and proprietors of restaurants and eateries - and anyone else who seeks to make a bit of dosh by capitalising of the sloppy, slush (and guilt) filled goings on that today generally brings.

Today people will be panicking because they've forgotten to send that card that denies the truth that their Mother is generally out of sight, mind and everyday experience. Today is a day of obligation for many and like those who feel they must turn up at church on Christmas Eve because it's 'the right thing' - so too have the marketing men conferred upon us a guilt trip which can only be absolved by the seeding of pound notes and other bits of paper, garlanded by flowers , sweetened by chocolates and celebrated by a feats at an over priced restaurant!

But today exists because it is a day when, traditionally, people went back to the church in which they were baptised. It is about returning to their 'Mother Church' and it is 'Mother Church' that the 'Mothering' refers to.

Today was once one of the two main days in which those in service (butlers, maids, cooks and all the other 'below stairs' folk and the gardeners, ostlers, pages and the like too) were given the day off;the other being Boxing day (which is about being given a gift from the master in a box, not a punch-up).

Today, as the people went back to their Mother (which was invariably where the family home was) they would also visit the family home and it became a tradition to make a gift and perhaps collect flowers on the way to the family home for Mum, who would be cooking a family meal (because it was like a second Christmas) and this is where the giving of flowers bit which continues today originates.

But the readings today are all about Mum! The lectionary writers look for the word and once found the job is pretty much  sorted. So what do we have before us today?

The birth of Samuel. If there's a birth then there has to be a mother, don't there precious?
Hannah is a woman of God who desired mohave a son and when she did she gave him away because she made a promise to God that she'd give him back. Having had a child lifted the apparent curse that others would have assumed was there, for in the Old Testament times being barren was more than just no having a child. Samuel coming into the world redeemed Hannah and enabled her to life her head up as one who knew God's blessing.

The 2 Corinthians reading is about consolation and this, I contend, is to be found in the Church, that is the living stones who we call believers, and so as we consider 'Mother Church' we need to remember that within the dry stones walls, living stones are to be found. Here's a reason to enter in to the building - to find love, acceptance, nurture, care and support. Works for m- and so the lectionary writers (the people who set the verses to be read) are now 2-0 up.

And the Gospel? Well they have to get Mary in to the frame somehow, after all she is the mother of Jesus! And they do and that's a cause for a smile and little else - well not unless we use it to consider how we regard, and care for, those who are widowed and alone (which of course Mary wasn't). But Mary has popped in to say hello and the duty visit on her behalf is made.

Just like so many who will do they duty bit today, make the telephone call they are dreading, rush to the card and flower services who deliver today to save those who forgot and tick the boxes.

But the reality for us is that we need to have a relationship that is honest and true with our mothers regardless of whether they are flesh and blood people who gave us birth (or brought us up - not all real mothers are biological) or bearing the name 'Church'.

Today we need to return to our Mother church to celebrate and remember our baptism - for baptism is what today is ultimately about - we go back to the place we were baptised to give thanks for that act of entry into the Church of Christ.

We go back and renew our commitment to being Christian.

We go back to proclaim ourselves as part of a community made up of living stones and to make this, once again, real for us and for those around us.

OR do we?

1 Samuel 1.20-28
In due time Hannah conceived and bore a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, ‘I have asked him of the Lord.’

The man Elkanah and all his household went up to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice, and to pay his vow. But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, ‘As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, that he may appear in the presence of the Lord, and remain there for ever; I will offer him as a nazirite for all time.’ Her husband Elkanah said to her, ‘Do what seems best to you, wait until you have weaned him; only—may the Lord establish his word.’ So the woman remained and nursed her son, until she weaned him. When she had weaned him, she took him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine. She brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh; and the child was young. Then they slaughtered the bull, and they brought the child to Eli. And she said, ‘Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed; and the Lord has granted me the petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he is given to the Lord.’

2 Corinthians 1.3-7
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ. If we are being afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation; if we are being consoled, it is for your consolation, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we are also suffering. Our hope for you is unshaken; for we know that as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our consolation.


John 19.25-27
And that is what the soldiers did.

Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

The Collect
God of compassion,
whose Son Jesus Christ, the child of Mary,
shared the life of a home in Nazareth,
and on the cross drew the whole human family to himself:
strengthen us in our daily living
that in joy and in sorrow
we may know the power of your presence
to bind together and to heal;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.

The Post Communion Prayer
Loving God, as a mother feeds her children at the breast you feed us in this sacrament with the food and drink of eternal life: help us who have tasted your goodness to grow in grace within the household of faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.



Now this makes the collate and untested that appear to be even better than it was when my wife used to get breakfast in bed from the children :-)

Can't make it to church?

So here we are at one of the most misunderstood (even - or should that be especially? - by some clergy) celebration of the church's year. A misunderstanding that causes pain and confusion and brings about some of the very worst preaching of the year.

So let's try to sort out some of the confusion:

It is not about Mums, nor is it about being a Mum and definitely not about having never been a Mum, and yet this is what many will hear and will take comfort, sadness or distress from it!

Today is something which dates back to the fifteen hundreds (16th Century) when Christians returned to the place they were baptised and celebrated their membership of the Church in their 'Mother' church.

A day when, the service done, people often visited the family home and, picking flowers on the way (a tough task in later industrial Britain), gave Mum a small gift (cheap - not expensive).

A day when those in service were given a day off to go 'a mothering' (days off not being that forthcoming) and so it was also a celebration - one which centred upon being part of the family: Physical and Spiritual.

The problem we have is that there will be people in our congregations this morning who having never been a mother will be feeling that this is something that speaks of their barrenness. Others who have had mothers who were less than perfect and never had the love, care and support that so many assume that women all possess will find the lauding of mothers painful and will hear words that speak of the paucity of love they have experienced. Some, whose mothers have departed this earth will be sad as they remember the woman they no longer see.

And then there are the mothers who are still with us and who are celebrated today as Mothering Sunday and Mother's Day (a truly secular shopping opportunity) collide.

Today is a day that proclaims LOUDLY this truth:

Today may we all, male or female, find the comfort and joy of this truth residing in our hearts.

For those who get presents, flowers and the like - enjoy it, for the role of being a mother is a tough and demanding one - one for which the help, inspiration and enabling of God is an added boon - and you should take the applause that is truly deserved.

For those who don't - look to the cross and the greatest gift we can have, the assurance of acceptance, love  and belonging and rejoice in that added gift of eternal life.

And for those whose mothers are no longer with us - we commend them, once again, to God's grace, love, care and mercy and give thanks for their lives and the nurture and love we received from them.

I have to include this because it made me smile - and I hope it has the same effect on you too:

Collect for Mothering Sunday

God of compassion, whose Son Jesus Christ, the child of Mary,

shared the life of a home in Nazareth, and on the cross drew the whole human family to himself:

strengthen us in our daily living that in joy and in sorrow

we may know the power of your presence to bind together and to heal;

through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you,

in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Exodus 2.1-10

Now a man from the house of Levi went and married a Levite woman. The woman conceived and bore a son; and when she saw that he was a fine baby, she hid him for three months. When she could hide him no longer sh got a papyrus basket for him, and plastered it with bitumen and pitch; she put the child in it and placed it among the reeds on the bank of the river. His sister stood at a distance, to see what would happen to him.

The daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the river, while her attendants walked beside the river. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her maid to bring it. When she opened it, she saw the child. He w crying, and she took pity on him. ‘This must be one of the Hebrews’ children,’ she said. Then his sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter, ‘Shall I go an get you a nurse from the Hebrew women to nurse the child for you?’ Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, ‘Yes.’ So the girl went and called the child’s mother. Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, ‘Take this child and nurse it for me and I will give you your wages.’ So the woman took the child and nursed it. When the child grew up, she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter, and she took him as her son. She named him Moses, ‘because’, she said, ‘I drew him out of the water.’

Colossians 3.12-17

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Gospel John 19.25-27

Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said

to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

Post Communion

Loving God,

as a mother feeds her children at the breast you feed us in this sacrament with the food and drink of eternal life: help us who have tasted your goodness to grow in grace within the household of faith;

through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Oddly, you might think, being mothering sunday here;s a piece of music I think fits the bill:

Hijacking things to make a point ...

... and saying what we really want to say isn't always one and the same thing!

A 'for instance' has to be yesterday's celebration of Fathers and the number of people I saw who posted things like:

     

And the perhaps sadder:

 Now as much as I am aware of what is outside of my very own front door with regard to the  'man deserts' and 'tsunamis of family breakdown' and which I understand that there are so many lone female parents out there (and those children with two parent present are now officially in the minority), I have to say that outside of my doors there are also men who struggle to be lone parents too!

So I have to ask the question, 'If the writing was on the other sex, how would many of those who posted such things yesterday feel about it?'

The problem we have in this world today is that amongst all the rancour, bitterness and revenge-seeking, there exist little balance and even less charity. Experience outside of my church doors demonstrates that for many the other side of the coin which proclaims, 'All men are rapists,' has on it the words, 'All women are whores!'

Yesterday was a day to celebrate those fathers who are there for their children and work hard at being role models, providers, carers and more besides.

It was a day to recognise that there are many fathers out there for whom yesterday was a day when they were prevented from seeing their children because mum has a new bloke or the breakdown of the relationship which brought the children into being was acrimonious!

It was a day to celebrate what is good in the male role model - not abuse some because of the bad behaviour of others.

There will always be those (male and female alike) for whom the parental role is an area where failure is the reality and just as we don't lash out at absent mothers (and they exist) I really don't think it's right to lash out at the fathers either.

Perhaps these might have been better images to post:

In the book of Matthew (chapter seven) we are told that we must be careful in the ways that exercise judgement for we will be judged in the same way that we judge people. So to those who posted negatively on Sunday, can I ask whether you will be posting 'Father Positive' images on 'Mothering Sunday*'?

If the answer is 'No' then perhaps you need to stop and ask yourself 'Why?'.

*Mothering Sunday is about 'Mother Church'

 'Mother's (and Father's) day is about consumerism and pressure from card, eatery and gift manufacturers!

CLICK ON THE IMAGES TO SEE FULL-SIZE

What's in a name: Mothering Sunday?

Over the past few days I have seen the price of flowers rise, the shops are filled with cheap DVDs, twee little figurines, overpriced cards and chocolates. My friends, and children, are wondering what gift they should buy to make real the reality that they too are caught up in the act of worship before them. Sadly though I'm not speaking about Mums but about shopping!

'Mother's Day is a chance to buy something that says 'I love you!'  So says a sign in a shop window and yet, of course, this wasn't always the way it was for once it was about belonging, gratitude, love and, yes you've probably guessed, Church.

Mothering Sunday was one of THE events of the year, especially if you were in service for it, along with Boxing Day, was a day that was generally given as a day off from the daily toil. This was a day when people returned to the church where they had been baptised to give thanks for their baptism and, as it was their home church, it also meant a family gathering afterwards.

As they made their way home to family and feast the children would pick some of the emerging flowers and this is where the tradition of giving flowers on Mothering Sunday began. At the home there would be a special (Simnel) cake to go with the meal - usually decorated with twelve marzipan balls. It was a time for families coming together and celebrating that they were one and this is why we met last week; for we are one family despite the different names and denominations.

My prayer is that we would celebrate being made one through the love of God as shown by Jesus, the Christ (and Easter's coming to remind us of this), as Church and that we would value our earthly families and cherish Mother (and Father and brother and sister and children and . .  .) and work to live in love and peace with them and all people in the coming year.

Don't wait for Mothering Sunday - every day is an opportunity to go 'a mothering' and to celebrate our Mothers too.

So may you have a blessed and joyous Mothering Sunday and may you give thanks for those who gave you life, taught you how to live, nurture (or perhaps nurtured) you and surrounds you with love - as as you stop to think of them remember that both apply equally to earthly Mother and spiritual Mother Church.

Pax