Four funerals and no weddings!

It's Friday and this week's (four) funerals are done and I have to say, "I love doing them!"

So many people ask me what the role of a dog-collar is. My response often includes the reality that it is part of my job to help people live well and die well, for we only do both once! We can revisit acts in our lives and can resolve to change how we act, think and live but when it comes to dying, we only sit that examination once and we should aim to do it as well as we can.

Since the beginning of this month I have seen some people do it exceptionally well. A couple of examples being the person who thanked the carers as their shift was ending, because they wouldn't see them in the morning. Their response was, "Of course you will, see you tomorrow!" but when the carers arrived the next day they found that the their charge had indeed peacefully slipped away in their sleep!

Another person I visited was anointed, prayed with and then began to doze off as we chatted (I have that effect). I told them that sleep was a good idea (they'd had a rough day) and sat there as they fell into a lovely sleep. As I left the nurse popped in to do the ob's and the next time they popped in, they found the patient had gone!

Not all of us can die as well as that, peacefully in our sleep. Not all of us will die at 87 (my average funeral age). But, we can make sure that when we do we do it knowing who we are in God and knowing of His love and provision for us. Even the most ill person can die healed and whole!

When I started in ministry, one of my colleagues told me how they hated 'bloody weddings!' and that funerals were the best part of the role. I have come to find that they were right in their assessment for a number of reasons and at a number of levels:

Weddings They want the lady what does hair, the man with the camera (or these days a 'videographer!!!), the woman what does the catering, the dog-collar what has the pretty building (but want to leave God out of the proceedings - we just want the photo-opportunity!), the booze-up (and subsequent fight?) and more besides.

Funerals They need a friend. Someone who will come into their loss and help them make sense of it. Someone who will help them see the person who has died, sometimes for the very first time, as they are and help them understand who they were and what made them who they are. They need reality and realism, not "Everyone goes to heaven and the loved one is sitting on a cloud with Auntie Ethel and Granddad looking down!" Neither do they need (as one person I know does) words which tell them that their loved one wasn't saved and therefore is bound for eternity in hell! Those who have gone, have gone and (secondary probation excepted) our task is with the living and so we share the Gospel, the realised hope that because of jesus and the cross there is more than just life here.

Weddings? You can have them - give me funerals and people who hurt and of course, with funerals the customers don't come back for a repeat service, not (sadly) the same for those who get married these days (marriage prep?, being responsible with those we marry? Don't get me started!!!)

Mind you, I hear rumours that the fees for weddings are set to double, that should help reduce the numbers a bit. Let's hope they leave the funerals alone, eh?

Pax