Journal: living under this world's yellow sun

The day now past has been one of challenge, blessing and a little personal pain today; not bad for a day billed as "off'. It started with breakfast and the company of a friend. One of the people who will listen to me and make, not always comfortable, comments and observations and provide part of what in combination with others is an effective spiritual direction process.

It's good to reflect and make oneself vulnerable to people - something we clergy do too little of - for it makes us human and exposes our feet of clay. The problem I find that hits me most is that unlike Superman,  living under the yellow sun of earth  doesn't seem to give me super powers at all! In fact there are times when I struggle to leap small obstacles with a single bound and am not only slower than a crawling bullet, but am wounded by words too! Yes indeed you - I'm frail, fallible and human.

Part two of today came in the shape of a service which unexpectedly arrived at my doorstep. But it was soon sorted, done, and gave me a sense of blessing too. When everyone is human then only the few - in this case the one - is truly revealed to be super. And so God was brought into the presence of others and I was blessed to be able to bless. That's what days off are for: Blessings!

So by the time the afternoon was with me we (the two made one through marriage) decided to take in a 'wrinkly film' (£3 each with a tea or coffee handed to you - a real bargain indeed). The film:Collateral Beauty - billed by some an a little over emotional, self-indulgent, offering.

But I got much from it even though it was so very obvious, over-egged and had too many words at time; yet was still effective and, for me at least, at times little painful. It's not often people will find me mention Timmy, a son who was loved much and who, attracting a litany of health issues, graced this world for just shy of ten years.

Howard the Will Smith character) is, Scrooge like, visited by love, time and death as he struggles over the loss of a child. Now it wasn't so much the film that touched me and entered into places I thought were dealt with and boarded up but the opportunity to let words and images resonate with the crystal glass memories and pains that lie hidden deep within the boarded up places.

The problem we have with loss is that we either bury the feelings of pain and grief with our loved ones or we nod at them and pass them by on the other side of the road, hoping no to have to stop and engage with them (a bit like some of the people life conspires to bless us with :-) ).

So yesterday I grieved over the loss of a son and touched the heart of God, another Father who shares the loss of a child, and was equally touched and blessed by the whole painful encounter. Tomorrow I will stand with people and in the resonance of today will bring them to a place of grief, loss, celebration and continuance of life. This yellow sun and the vulnerability it brings to my every day is indeed a blessing for it illuminates the hand which holds me and makes me safe.

Film done, it was time to write funeral services and edit sound tracks so that they fit the bill for my trip to the Crem'. It is so easy to 'do' funerals as if they were a row of identical objects on a conveyor belt. But the time taken to craft words that speak of the life, the joys, the pain, which shape and mound us is essential. The simplicity of finding words for a treasure is overtaken by the opportunity to be an apologist for a life lived in painful experience and broken relationships. This is the joy and the challenge we encounter when in the company of another person's dead.

The day ended with wedding stuff - and boy do I struggle with weddings! Unlike funerals where people need a neighbour, someone who will come alongside and help make sense of things, weddings often turn out to be a long line of service providers with the cleric and a required, yet not always required part, of the whole thing. But for this one I am involved with people I am involved with and so it's part of the family rather than part of the package. And that's a joy I will enjoy this coming Saturday.

So another 'day off' ends and I have had fun and pain and revelation and more besides.

Lord, for all the facets of the day I give You thanks and praise.
For my dead, and the dead of others - I give you thanks and commend them to Your grace, love, care and mercy. Bring Your healing into the presence of those whose loved one I will do services for this week.
For those I have been a blessing to today: I thank You.
For those who have blessed me and shown me kindness - thank You for them.
Lord, bring me sleep and refreshment - may tomorrow be filled with encounter and opportunity to make Your love and life real in the people before me.
Lord, I love You,

Making people welcome - Do we?

I'm sure we all like to think of ourselves as a welcoming church but is this really true?

One of the people who came to a colleague's church last weekend told them that they'd tried another in the area and managed, even though the congregation was relatively small (around twenty) they managed to enter, take part in the service, and leave without being greeted or in any way engaged with. Knowing the dogcollar in that church I know that they would be saddened and disturbed by such a report and yet, also knowing the church (and having heard this regarding them before), I am confident that there is some truth in it.

Every year we have a visit from a mystery worshipper (MW) and this has proved really helpful for the church in that it highlights the things that we are doing well and brings to our attention the things we are missing. 

We like to think of ourselves as a welcoming and friendly bunch and yet, on one such visit, the MW managed to enter the building and visiting the toilet first, creep in during the melee at the back where Christmas cards were being sorted out, and sit down unnoticed. And then they were greeted by the people around them and engaged with and made to feel welcome.

BUT

It shows that, because we have someone at the door in the worship area rather that at the 'front door', we can miss that first, perhaps all-important, greeting.

Other thing we have been marked down for were the street signs (kids and council issue), the bins being out front (but there's nowhere else for them to go) and the 'basic biscuits' (their words) that were on offer (Jaffa cakes last week - Lent, never heard of it . . and yes, I know Sundays are outside of Lent!).

So, back to the latest report of not being engaged with, welcomed or waved off. How on earth can we do such a thing and hope to see our congregations grow? Some might say that that's a problem with evensong, for I can believe someone crept in, did and left without engagement at a non-Eucharistic service but (always a 'but'):

I have recently heard of someone who came to a Sunday parish communion and although they were given a sheet for the service and welcomed, were not spoken to or otherwise engaged with (other than a handshake at the peace) until they left. At the end, people vanished out back or sat in groups and chatted and they, after sitting in their seat for five minutes were totally ignored! And this is in a church where numbers are falling and the billed strategy is welcome and growth. Perhaps this could explain the continued fall in numbers.

So here's a plea: Please have a think about being a welcoming church. This doesn't mean that you engage the use of the dreaded 'Welcome Team' with their cheesy and often false-feeling pinning down of any unfortunate who happens to enter the building. What I mean is that we should BE a welcoming church rather than have a welcoming team. What's the point of doing the cheesy smile and then sitting the person amongst people who are interested only in their own little clique or circle friends?

One lady who visited us came because she'd tried another church and they were just a little too welcoming. They felt like they'd been assigned an escort who stuck with them throughout the service, the after service tea/coffee/squash and a biscuit thing and even walked with her to their car. they felt pressurised and that the whole thing was false, for having been assigned a minder everyone else ignored her.

Sadly she didn't stay as she found us a bit cramped - too many people in such a small space :-(

Why don't you ask a friend to come and visit your church and report back or perhaps, like us, you have such a scheme in the diocese.

The first thing a visitor remembers is the welcome - everything else merely adds (or detracts) from the church experience.

How's your?

Foolish Virgins and Fresh Expressions

What a stunningly great day it has been here in paradise! Running from the early morning communion (which was pretty well attended) through the Family Service (where were they?) and then on through various encounters and activities into the first evening of the 'Mission-Shaped Introduction' and then more besides - one couldn't say the day was quiet, simple or effortless - but boy was it blessed (mostly!).

This morning was about foolish virgins and not being ready for the day that was to come (yet no one was going to know the day or the hour). Made me think how easy it is to put your hand up in a meeting, pray the sinner's prayer and think that you're now in. But there just seems to be a need to be ready and the unpreparedness of the virgins meant that they didn't make it into the wedding banquet. Reminiscent of the man who did and 'being incorrectly dressed' was thrown out of the window into the darkness with all that went with it!

It's obviously not enough to sit and assume we're in, we need to do something about this Christian lifestyle - is it give money, do stuff, hold services or something else? Well the Amos reading this morning left us in no doubt that God doesn't want services, load of them, but wants relationship and it is from this relationship that we live, do and have meaning in our life!

An easy rope to start considering the needs of those who are outside the Church and how Fresh Expressions (FE) might be just what they need. The problem is that I meet people who move a service to a different time (or venue) and call it an FE! So, if you're not sure, let me give you the definition:

"A fresh expression is a form of church for our changing culture established primarily for the benefit of people who are not yet members of any church."

Simple, isn't it? It's about providing a place for those who aren't Church to become it! It's not a relocation of venue or a changing of the service time - it's about making what we do accessible to those outside - and that's much, much, much more! (sorry Police Academy gene problems!)

So - as we go through this week why don't we look at the people we engage with and ask ourselves a few questions:

When would be a good time for them to engage with believers?

Where would be a good place to do this?

What should we be doing to make it relevant to the person, their culture, social needs and personal circumstances?

Three little questions that could just set someone's lamp alight :-)

Pax