What's the point of putting on a carol Service?

If you're not going to talk about Jesus?

Because I have to be honest here and say that the fluffy 'baby Jesus' stuff and the provision of that Hallmark™ moment when the tea towels, wings, stars and blue dress are donned and we have the tiny tots standing around the crib singing and the adults sniffing and snapping is actually something I heartily approve of. But if that's all we provide during the run up to Christmas than I have to say that we are not doing enough!

I'm going to try and lay it out for you as succinctly and clearly as I possibly can:

Jesus is indeed the reason for the season - BUT - if you think that using that trite little phrase means you're doing it right, then think again because people need to know the WHY that goes with the WHAT that you've presented to them! 

It is not enough to get them into the building (even if it does have a Christmas tree).

It is not enough to dress them up and do the Nativity story (I know that might be a shock!).

It's not enough to put up a Poster and blow the dust of the Nativity set either!!

What we need to be telling them goes like this (but is probably sounder than what I is!).

Are you sitting uncomfortably?

We were separated from God by the things we call sin (shorthand for all the wrongs we commit) and these wrongs not only destroyed the relationship with Him but with family, friends and neighbours too.

‘If only God would come down here and sort it all out,’ people cried. And so God heard and did just that - Jesus is God made visible.

 ‘If only God were one of us so He could understand the pressures and trials that being human bring,’ they cried – Jesus is God made man.

 ‘If only God would wipe the slate clean and set us free from everything that separates us from Him and those around us,’ – Jesus came to wipe the slate clean, to remove from us all the problems that being wrong brings and to set us free.

I don’t know about you but if Argos has something in their catalogue this Christmas that offered those three things ---

Wouldn’t you want it for those you love?

Of course you would – and that’s the good news – the tidings of great joy because as we celebrate His birth in Bethlehem some two thousand years ago, that is exactly what is on offer to you today!

Jesus is the invisible God made visible; made man; coming to bring peace:

Peace with God

Peace with family and friends

Peace with that neighbour or workmate (you know who I mean)

So this Christmas, why not come to a church building and engage with the living stones that are Church to welcome Jesus, the Christ, into your life (and the lives of those you love – bring them too)

And get the ultimate Christmas present (for free) this year?

That's what we need to be telling them ;-)

We don't need cute - we don't need gimmicks - we don't need numbers

Faith: 'Not as clear cut as you might think!'

had a most interesting conversation this morning, the pinnacle of which was the statement: 'Christianity is not as clear cut as you might think!' which provided me with plenty of food for thought. After all, I've always known that, as has any thinking and open Christian, so why the surprise? Probably because the issue under discussion was one that actually I considered to be pretty clear cut!

The conversation centred along the lines that the defining Bible passage for everything was the 'golden rule' - that we treat others as you'd we'd to be treated and this was the basis upon which every attitude and act was judged. That we just loved our neighbour as ourselves and
made real the words of Matthew Chapter seven's account of the sermon on the mount as we refrained from judging and accepted whatever others did, approving and affirming rather than rebuking or denying.

Apparently the key to removing what some consider to be 'sin' is to remove the label sin from it. What we need to do is accept that people are different and the 'one size fits all' approach of Christianity is flawed and doomed to fail from the start. Better to accept that we're all different and concentrate on the things we can agree on and agree to accept the things (perhaps ignore is a better term) we can't.

The Church is an evolving body of people and they are realising that what we believed in centuries past is no longer relevant or valid. People are apparently realising that these days 'we are not called to live and act' as they did before and 'happiness' is the universal indicator of the rectitude of such thinking.

Having heard what they had to say, I have to be honest and say that I thought their views to be flawed and not merely self-indulgent and approving but actually, if Christian is what we are as a breed, a terminal disease!

There are many good things to be found in this world and many that are obviously bad - or are they? After all, I hear more and more people proposing that we should act illegally to deal with people who act wrongly - so the old statement 'two wrongs don't make a right' has now obviously itself become wrong.

One of the joys of being Christian is that we have, or at least should have, doors, arms and hearts that are open to everybody - for Church is an 'inclusive' entity. The problem for many comes with the reality that it is not a 'permissive' entity.

So this morning, whilst I heard what was said I really couldn't agree with it because what was being demanded was that I put aside my views in favour of theirs in the name of some misplaced understanding of love. I was being told that the only way to be loving was to ignore those things I considered wrong in the name of unity and 'being kind'.

The stumbling block for me came with the parting shot in that the other party considered that what they were asking for was exactly what Jesus would have done.

Obviously not only a different theology on display here but a different Jesus too!

Mental illness is not a passport ...

To be mad!

It was with these words that I was pulled us short during a conversation with someone who has been diagnosed with, and locked up, a mental health issue.

We were talking about a mutual acquaintance who also has troubles, trials and issues as a result if their mental health situation and they, like many suffer from the ebb and flow of the well-being and stable tides. I made the comment that they were often visibly 'not in a good place' and received a broadside as I was told that whilst mental state was something that wavered it was not the aforementioned passport to madness and neither was it something that granted the right to behave badly or be treaded badly either!

Intrigued I asked them to continue, and goodness me - they did!

'There are days when it just goes wrong and you need people to understand that you need a bit if slack - a smile and bit of encouragement. This says, 'You're human and you're valued, lived, respected and most of all - valid. After all, who wants to be an 'in valid'? There are days when it takes all your energy to leave the house but if you don't then the next day gets harder and the day after harder still until they break down the door and take you to the morgue!'

They went on to tell me how, in their opinion, Mental illness is not permission to behave badly and those who do yet don't have to (for some apparently choose to make it what they choose along with the forced) do others who are mentally ill a great disservice.

If you break a leg then you have to get it mended. If when the break is healed you continue to limp then you limp - that's a fact of life. The same goes for broken minds,

Some days the leg will hurt and you'll limp more - could be you've done too much the day before I ruts cold or damp or so etching - it's the same with a broken mind!

But some people like to make the limp more pronounced and other try hard to look normal. So e will be victims and others will be sufferers, but not even they know which they are sometimes and so we treat the limpets with respect, give them love, support and care.

But not indulgence and that's the problem because the system is over stretched and useless at times and people just see the limp and not the person the broken limb (leg, brain, heart, etc.) is attached to. They become a client or a bloody nuisance - a scrounged or a naughty child who lives to their own desires and dances to their own tunes and uses the limp as the excuse if challenged. But we have control, not always complete but we we do have it most of the time, and so we should live in that reality - not the fiction some choose to pretend is real, not the fiction that the attitudes of those without limps would have you believe consists of 'Pulling yourself together or cheering up,' would bring.

Mental health is like having legs. Some walk without a limp, some with a slight limp, others have days when it is worse and they can hardly walk - some need sticks or wheelchairs every day. The question is:

Do you know that person you see limping?

Do you know their story?

Do you know their needs?

Do you call yourself a Christian?

If you do and you've said 'No' to the first three questions then you need to ask yourself what being a Christian is - because you don't only have a choice as to how you behave and act but you also have commandments and instructions to guide you:

'If anyone has the means to bring relief and sees someone in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in the? How can they call themselves Christian? 
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.' 

1 John 3:17-18

I was going to post this on World Mental Health day but reasons: pastoral and personal meant it was better left for another time. Please think about the words and he call within it it to challenge who, how and what is true about you.

Please pray for those with limps and for those who care for them.

Please pray for churches with open doors, arms and hearts.

Please act for justice and support for those who continue with their limps today.

Pax

In or Out - needs a blessing and a conversation

Three of the important things when someone leaves or comes into a church can be summed up as blessings and conversations:

Conversations

The Receiving Side - Conversations

Conversation One - with person/s coming into church. 
This needs to understand where they are coming from and hopefully the reason they're coming to you from them. During this conversation you need to ascertain whether or not their present minister knows they are intending to leave and if the answer is 'No' then the 'pause' button needs to be hit and they need to be asked to discuss things with their Vicar, Pastor or whatever before they move over (there are exceptions to this rule but they are indeed exceptional!).

What I find at this stage is that the person coming then decides, because they don't want that conversation, that they won't be coming to you after all (interestingly the last couple of people who found themselves at this stage appeared at another church where the same rules obviously didn't apply - but hey ho, we do as we see fit) or at least not until they were coming with a blessing.

Conversation Two -  With the 'sending' church. 
This conversation lets them know that you're gaining one of theirs as a matter of courtesy and as a practical step too as hopefully the sending minister will tell you who and what you're getting, their strengths, weaknesses and challenging bits too.

This does two things in that it is common courtesy to let another church leader know that you are receiving one of theirs and ensures that they are in the know (amazing how often one finds that the person coming has 'forgotten' to let their minister know they were leaving (something that leads to them assuming you have simply stolen one of their sheep). I did this once and although the other minister had no idea they were losing someone but were only to glad to see the back of them - not the most encouraging beginning!

Conversation Three - With the church
I think it's always good to tell the church that so done has left if they're not going to be sent with a blessing because it says you know they're going (or perhaps gone) and it gives you the chance to still pray for them and bless those who remain as well as those who have gone.

The Sending Side - Conversations

Conversation one - When you know they're going: The leaving
Once the person who's leaving makes this know then it's good practice to conduct a conversation, or as a colleague calls it - a leaving interview - to find out the what and why behind it. This is preferable in most cases but where pain or distress is going to come out of it then pastoral sensitivity comes first and the only conversation is 'goodbye'. But when the conversation occurs it's good to have an honest and open conversation without fingers pointed (and if they are let them be theirs not yours if you're a leader).

Conversation two - When you know they're going: The Receiving church
Contact the leader of the intended target church and tell them one of yours is coming to them and tell them who they are and, in an honest yet generous way, their strengths, weaknesses - the blessings and the challenges - that they represent. This way there is no doubt regarding the transfer and no question of sheep stealing because proper processes have been enacted and the move is done in partnership with the other church. Integrity and collegiality is to the front of it all - as it should be.

Blessing - The sending side
It is of the utmost importance to ensure that, as a general rule, those who have left are sent with a blessing (although there are times when this is neither advisable, desirable or practical). There are a number of reasons for this and they go like this:

1. If you send someone with a blessing then they are leaving in communion with you and the fellowship and this is important because the message it sends is approval and relationship and if the receiving church is all smiles and happiness then you have friends in another church.

2. If you send them with a blessing and things go pear-shaped and the dream turns sour, because there is a relationship the person who has left can come back and talk about the situation and even return because the relationship continues.

3. If they leave, especially without a blessing or with them appearing to be under a cloud, leaves the leaver without any source of support or return and effectively 'casts them out' (regardless of who did the casting). That said there are times when this is never going to be anything but the case but this should be the exception rather than the rule.

Blessing - the receiving side
When you get new members it is good to pray with them publicly and welcome them - because it hallows the relationship. Interestingly this is often overlooked for a number of reasons (and that's my excuse!).

I have had some leave who have agreed to be sent with a blessing and some for whom it was never going to happen and this is just part of life's rich tapestry.

But in or out should never be taken lightly and care must always be taken to avoid earning the 'sheep stealer' label - blessings and conversations make it 'transfer growth' instead - and that's what builds relationships between ministers and builds the Kingdom too.

Does that answer your question John? (If not - email me again or post a comment)

Didn't have time to make a sheep image :-)

A couple of Bible explanations . . .

Which really made me smile:

'Jesus made the lame walk'
'Stopping to think of that statement for a moment I realise that's not really news, after all London Transport do that on a daily basis!'

'Jesus only had male disciples'
'Reason: Jesus found it really tough to get women to go along with Him, after all, most men they meet think they're God's gift to the world!'

And then they made me think:

About the lack of ability to smile, laugh or otherwise enjoy themselves that some Christians have.

I once remarked, in a service, that I thought the swallowing camels and straining at gnats was one of the funniest things Jesus could say to the stiff, hard-line, Pharisaical types and after the service, the same people Jesus was talking about came up and gave me some stick:

'Jesus wasn't a comedian, he didn't tell jokes and make funny comments! . . . .  There's nothing funny about being a Christian (well, not in your church, that's true!) . . . . There's no place for being 'funny' in church . . . . ' and on they went, confirming the very first impression I got when I entered.

They had joy, but it was buried so deep down under ritual and appearance and structure and . .  well I'm sure you know what I mean (because you've either experienced it or are it!); and this is the problem for so many people outside the Church too. They come into contact with a bunch of joyless, lifeless and hopeless (aside from the that one eternal hope of course) people and don't come back.

Mind you, a few years back I mentioned that I liked to keep the baptism services light and free-moving. The response to this (from someone who surprised me with it) was, 'Oh, you're one of those 'Gameshow Host' clergy who are there to entertain rather than act as a Priest then are you?'

The words wounded, for I was not, and am not, one of them at all (but I now know some who are and so can understand his views!!). To write off everything that I was doing in the baptism so easily and so lightly started a journey that took just about every bit of respect I had for the man as I saw him sweep away the legs of some he was supposed to be mentoring time and time again. So I watched him and realised that when the internal pain was high, so too was the pain for others. His verbal scything of others was merely a reaction to his own pain and lack of progression and soon led me to a place of prayer and sadness for him.

The reality was that in being welcoming and making the 'domestics' light, telling families not to fight with their children during the service; that some noise was inevitable and all the other stuff was the right way - a draconian set of instructions and and an unwelcoming first impression would have set the scene for the rest of the service.

The fact that I explain that baptism is more than a wet witness and explain the place and purpose of oil, water, flame and the Jewish and Jesus links to it: This is right and fitting, for we probably engage with more unchurched and dechurched people in the baptism service that any other occasional office we have.

If we can't make church fun without losing the story, Jesus the man and people *the Church) in context then we have become extremely sad indeed. If there's no joy in our services and no laughter in our sermons, then the game is up and all we are doing is looking after buildings until such time they can be made into carpet warehouses and heritage centres.

If we don't have love and life in all it's fullness;

If we are not partying regularly and living as family;

Then we are doomed - because it's not just what we say but the way that we say it!

A final comment that made me smile (and can be adapted for any place or people group - also works well with Australia and France ;-) (Sorry Marty)

'Yorkshire - A county so beautiful that God filled it with Yorkshiremen to make people feel so much better about living somewhere else'

Happy Sunday - He is Risen!

Making people welcome - Do we?

I'm sure we all like to think of ourselves as a welcoming church but is this really true?

One of the people who came to a colleague's church last weekend told them that they'd tried another in the area and managed, even though the congregation was relatively small (around twenty) they managed to enter, take part in the service, and leave without being greeted or in any way engaged with. Knowing the dogcollar in that church I know that they would be saddened and disturbed by such a report and yet, also knowing the church (and having heard this regarding them before), I am confident that there is some truth in it.

Every year we have a visit from a mystery worshipper (MW) and this has proved really helpful for the church in that it highlights the things that we are doing well and brings to our attention the things we are missing. 

We like to think of ourselves as a welcoming and friendly bunch and yet, on one such visit, the MW managed to enter the building and visiting the toilet first, creep in during the melee at the back where Christmas cards were being sorted out, and sit down unnoticed. And then they were greeted by the people around them and engaged with and made to feel welcome.

BUT

It shows that, because we have someone at the door in the worship area rather that at the 'front door', we can miss that first, perhaps all-important, greeting.

Other thing we have been marked down for were the street signs (kids and council issue), the bins being out front (but there's nowhere else for them to go) and the 'basic biscuits' (their words) that were on offer (Jaffa cakes last week - Lent, never heard of it . . and yes, I know Sundays are outside of Lent!).

So, back to the latest report of not being engaged with, welcomed or waved off. How on earth can we do such a thing and hope to see our congregations grow? Some might say that that's a problem with evensong, for I can believe someone crept in, did and left without engagement at a non-Eucharistic service but (always a 'but'):

I have recently heard of someone who came to a Sunday parish communion and although they were given a sheet for the service and welcomed, were not spoken to or otherwise engaged with (other than a handshake at the peace) until they left. At the end, people vanished out back or sat in groups and chatted and they, after sitting in their seat for five minutes were totally ignored! And this is in a church where numbers are falling and the billed strategy is welcome and growth. Perhaps this could explain the continued fall in numbers.

So here's a plea: Please have a think about being a welcoming church. This doesn't mean that you engage the use of the dreaded 'Welcome Team' with their cheesy and often false-feeling pinning down of any unfortunate who happens to enter the building. What I mean is that we should BE a welcoming church rather than have a welcoming team. What's the point of doing the cheesy smile and then sitting the person amongst people who are interested only in their own little clique or circle friends?

One lady who visited us came because she'd tried another church and they were just a little too welcoming. They felt like they'd been assigned an escort who stuck with them throughout the service, the after service tea/coffee/squash and a biscuit thing and even walked with her to their car. they felt pressurised and that the whole thing was false, for having been assigned a minder everyone else ignored her.

Sadly she didn't stay as she found us a bit cramped - too many people in such a small space :-(

Why don't you ask a friend to come and visit your church and report back or perhaps, like us, you have such a scheme in the diocese.

The first thing a visitor remembers is the welcome - everything else merely adds (or detracts) from the church experience.

How's your?