Journal: A day off

Well, a third of a day off anyway!

Before the world starts the, "You have to take your day off," tirade, I had to square away some of the funerals in terms of getting the CDs burnt, the service paperwork done, a regimental flag found (ended up buying one from ebay), and other arrangements made. The next seven days have as many funerals (and there's none on the weekend) so it's a bit of a marathon. In fact with nineteen, which was not only the average age of the US soldier in Vietnam, is now but the high water mark of my monthly funeral service tally. A new record - can't be bad can it?

The day started with the usual daily Office (usually done between 04:30 and 06:00 depending on what's ahead - the busier I am, the earlier it gets done) and soon found itself taken up by funeral stuff. By 07:30 I'd had a brew and was well into the first set of stuff.

It's odd but I have come to realise that the world at large assumes that service just happen. If only this were true, but the reality is that to get liturgy and content in the right place, to do the right stuff about people, get names right, make sure the tensions in the service (any service, every service) are created and resolved: This takes work. Thankfully there are colleagues who work at providing quite poor liturgy as a spur for me to keep in working at it!

So notes written up, myriad numbers of telephone calls made (seems I spoke to one FD nine times during the course of the morning), service and other related sheets put together, printed and put in their relevant envelopes - I found myself done such that lunch and a film became ours a little before half one. A great day thus far, and for that, time with the other half was my reward and joy for the second part of the day.

We went to the wrinkly film club. It so unlike my earlieat film club experiences where I'd buy a ticket (3p) and head to the toilet to let my mates in through the fire exit before we sang the rousing 'We are the boys and girls well known as, the minors of the ABC . . . '.

Today's extravaganza coat £3 and came with a brew (Tea, the nectar of the gods - unless it's the stuff most churches dish up after the service). The film was 'I, Daniel Blake' and it didn't take long to see why they'd checked for concealed weapons before we entered, after all the Job Centre is only across the road from the cinema! This is a must see for people and I think it's a film we need to show to Church sometime. The film is about a man and his dealings with the benefits and employment related processes in the U.K. It made me angry, reduced me to tears and brought back so many memories of when I worked in that sector. Church was seen in it as perhaps one of the only true moments of hope.

Film finished, we left ready to have a fight - the adrenaline was flowing - with the shops as I purchased more comestibles to feed my heavy administrative appetite before heading home. Got home and then (without a brew) went and did a food shop and saw no one I knew; which is so very odd it made me stop and think for a moment. A trip out without encountering a single soul:; had the apocalypse begun?

Home again (without any sense of a bit of  'jiddedy jig' or a fat pig in eveidence) a bit more funeral admin before an episode of 'The Undertaker' (I kid you not) - my TV of choice at the moment and then a snuggle in the settee with a good wife (left the book elsewhere) and a chick flick on Netflix. Bliss.

Early to bed tonight (before midnight) and now all is quiet in the house and the breathing next to me is regular as a little hushed it's time to reflect on where me and God have been today. It's now that I realise how many opportunities for engagement I've had today thanks to the telephone - something we clergy (and the world) seem to have forgotten as we text and email our way through the day.

Lord, for the opportunities to enter the homes of others through a bit of copper I can but thank You. For the difference a call has made - the making of a virtual incarnacy theirs - I give You praise. Not as good as a simple touch and a real presence, but today I will give You thanks because as I was in one place, You, and another person were standing with me in the work of being Church as they visited someone in hospital.

Lord, help me to raise up born again believers who give without counting the cost. Help me to walk I Your footsteps and experience the security and life-changing reality that this brings and may others walk in those footsteps behind me - for aren't we called 'leaders' as well as followers.

Father for the daily bread, the forgiveness of my sins, the fact that today I do not think I have out You to the test but walked as friends in partnership as family: I love You so very much. Bless all I am and do tomorrow - may my encounters speak of You and my life show Your love and the work of Your hand.

Let's do this again tomorrow, eh?

40 Acts - Day 35: ' Buoyancy Aid '

We all live in the centre of our own narrative, but it's helpful to remember that everyone around us has their own story too. It has highs and lows, and sometimes those lows are seemingly invisible. Today we're each going to be a lifesaver for someone going through a tough time at the moment. Ask their friends and family what that person needs instead of asking them, and be sensitive to the person's privacy and dignity.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Romans 12:15 NIV

I sat there as she told me about how her ex-partner used to beat her black and blue; how he once kicked her in the head so much she ended up in a coma. She shared how the cocktail of prescription drugs she now took as a result of the abuse was robbing her of sleep and the ability to think straight. She was overwhelmed and exhausted.

‘God, what on earth do I say?!’

I’d met this lady through my work with Christians Against Poverty (CAP). Her abusive relationship had left her financially and emotionally bankrupt. Praise God she had found us and was beginning to get help with her debts, but right now things were still tough. I believed that God had a plan for her but to say it out loud in that moment just seemed so trite. I had no idea what she’d been through, or what I could say to ease her pain. I just felt so useless.

But then I felt the Holy Spirit encourage me to realise that I didn’t need to fix this: I just needed to give this lady my time, love and compassion. So I did. I didn’t say much, except for a simple prayer at the end, but with tears in her eyes she hugged me tight and thanked me for listening. It didn’t feel like much to me but the fact that someone cared meant a lot to her.

Sometimes we have no words to make things better but I believe we can still offer support by coming alongside people in their pain. In Romans 12:15 Paul says, ‘Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.’ Sometimes people just need to know they’re not alone.

Today's blog was written by Kathy Freeman from Christians Against Poverty.
Find out more about them and support their chosen charity here.

To see today's challenge in full - Click HERE

More than 'Just a service' - Funerals

Again I have been reminded of just how wonderful it is, and how amazingly privileged I am, to be involved in the ministry of conducting funerals. For although people often look at me as if I have a screw missing when I tell them that, 'Funerals are the best bit of my job,' but this is the God's honest truth.

I don't think we can do anything more meaningful and important than to ensure that the last opportunity to be in the same place as a loved one is made as positive and as smooth as possible, especially in these days when we don't seem to grieve or mourn as well as we used. I meet some people who fail to grieve in any meaningful or restorative manner such that, as witnessed by the death of Princess Diana, when tragedy strikes elsewhere - all the pent up grief is expended in one outpouring. An outpouring that is rarely proportionate or healthy.

One of the tasks of the minister is to point to the (realised) hope that we have in Jesus, the Christ, and as we do this we assist those who mourn to celebrate the life of their loved one; laughing and celebrating where it is appropriate and weeping where it is inevitable and (and it is) essential. The problem is that often, listening to the service before that which I am to do,  what I hear is still plaster sainted, wrongly placed and plaster removing deliveries.

I reckon every funeral takes (at least) a day of work from first encounter to the end of the service and there have been some that stretch this beyond that (especially when there's travel involved). Looking at the year thus far I can confidently say that funerals have taken up over a quarter of 2014 and so, as I reflect on a year almost passed' a plea:

Please remember that a funeral service, be it church, graveside or crematorium, is something really important and much more than, "Half an hour at the Crem!" ( as one person dismissed it).

The energy and engagement, the emotional demand placed on the minister and the intellectual  challenges - where wisdom, gentle guidance and finely honed counselling skills are all demanded - is something to be understood and supported by church members. Supported by prayer and understanding that when people find themselves in a place where they need a neighbour - the neighbour that is Church and the hope that is the Christ, is our primary and of the utmost important role.

Funerals - not a service but a ministry where we come alongside the bereaved - truly an opportunity to make resurrection and parakletos (the 'coming alongside' that is the hallmark of the Holy Spirit) a reality in the life of those with a need.

Church - our core is . . .

Loving others with a love like that which Jesus (the Christ) has shown us to form relationships with those with whom we come into contact (and whom we, like Jesus, seek to serve). Relationships which enable us to come alongside just as the Holy Spirit, the paraclete, does with us by revealing, reconciling, inspiring, motivating (and mobilising) and bringing healing.

This is our individual and corporate calling.

The gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit as He reveals those things to us which separate us from God and one another is no different from that which we are called to do also and this cannot be done from a distance or with those who are distant from us (or vv). It only comes through having a relationship and this means that we need to be accessible and outward facing.

Reconciliation is not what we do but who we are. Reconciling man to man and man to God.

Inspiring people to think, live and respond rightly. So often we fail to respond to others the way that Christ calls us to do and yet it is by our example that others will learn and if they're not in relationship with us, how can they see the examples we are [Mind you knowing the example I can be at times it might be better if they didn't see me ;-) ]  ?

Motivating (and mobilising) those around us, especially those who are distant from God in oh so many ways, is something that we do by being contagious Christians. People see the difference in us and the difference we make because of that difference and want to be part of it. We have had some people who have come into contact with us because of the things that they see and they want to make a difference too! Motivation comes from two directions but we take our model from the Great Shepherd (Jesus) rather than the Western shepherd.  The difference?

The sheep follow Jesus because they know His voice and trust Him whilst with the Western model the shepherd walks behind the sheep kicking them up the behindside until he gets them where he wants them.

Now there's a challenge for some who would be leaders!

Finally we come alongside and bring healing to those around us. Whether it is by affirming them or standing with them in their troubles; taking their part in courts, council offices, social services, debt agencies and the so many other places where being broken, beaten and worthless becomes heightened and despair reaches its lowest point. In weeping with those who are dying or just holding a hand and being a friend. Church and healing are synonymous but of course only where we have the the ability because we are alongside!

So, just to recap, the core business of the Church is:

BEING THERE WITH THE OTHER PERSON

BECAUSE OF CHRIST!

After all - Jesus didn't shout at us from a pulpit but got in the poo and, coming alongside us, swam with us to lead us out of it. New life in Christ comes about by obedient and sacrificial lives in Christ.

Pax