Covid-19 and 2020: Opportunities and blessings (count yours)

How odd life can be - somehow this seems to have been one of the best years ever experienced for so many reasons. Stop to count your blessings; how many are there?

Here's my quick and messy starter with ten blessings:

1.   Stopped care homes but cared in homes.

2.   Took the Word of God (living and written) into peoples homes using technology
      (am I the only one to go, "Oooh, technology!" (in a Homer Simpson voice)?

3.   Got to stream funerals and be creative with way people are encouraged and supported to mourn.

4.   Did virtual military remembrance services (one two at the same time).

5.   Recorded and streamed some services (that said, we've done the majority live)
      This means that at last I can proved I can be in two places at the same time!

6.   Got to shop for people (which we're still doing), started supplying drugs (prescription only, honest
      Occifer).

7.   Had the challenge of three funerals in four locations in one day
      (one church, one burial, two different crematoria)

8.   Was part of pastorally-engaged and effective Church which put aside fees and catered for feelings
      of bereaved and brokenness of our communities.

9.   Managed to continually stream morning and evening prayer, compline, BCP evensong
      (Communion coming) and CW Communion and returned congregations back to buildings.

10. Entered into the world of 'virtual' care home visits where the cleric is passed from one resident to
      the next as they get to spend time with ,e.

The world has become so very different over the past few months - and I thing it is an invitation to blessing and service to me and others around me.

I'm sad at the loss,
                the fear,
                the lack of consideration for others as people fail to protect those around them

Journal: Monotheism, tritheism and Islam

One of the things that Christians appear to either struggle with or ignore has to be made real in the form of the Trinity! If we look to the words of Deuteronomy 6.4 (the shema) we find ourselves faced with the statement: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one'

No doubt or hint of equivocation to be found here - and we believe that God is consistently one, one substance, possessing three distinct and separate natures. There have been, and still are, people who have one God and then the other two as subjective and inferior, other have three gods. God as the Creator and the Holy Spirit and Jesus as created was dealt with in the Church Councils - Sabellius, Arius, modal stuff where there's three form - each existing like ice, water and steam - all this stuff was dealt with and lines were drawn to uphold the Trinity as something solid, sound and consistent.

The thing is that many don't understand the concept and outworking of the Trinity at all and if this is true for the Christians, how on earth do we expect Muslims and others to understand that we Christians and not a bunch of polytheistic - well tritheistic - sorts?

This was the task before me as I taught at an Islamic school yesterday. The school was good in so many respects, the children were disciplined and well-presented, generally attentive and to be honest - pretty much everything you don't always expect from a state school (in my experience).

Moving on to the classroom, the questions were though out and a dialogue was established. I did stuff in a year nine class and then a mixture of years nine and ten - boys in the first, girls in the second - and I think ( hope, pray!) that we all got something from the experience.

One of the best ways to understand your faith is to try and explain it to others and having had friends from many faith (and no faith) groups and nationalities I have often had to become an apologist for the things I believe to be true and found in Christianity.

So in all, a stimulating and most excellent afternoon was had - after an invigorating shower in the morning (indulged in whilst fully clothed in a graveyard with others) - some administration (which, like the poor, it seems will always be with us - followed by some study, some music practice and then a rather interesting Bishops Certificate course where the topic on offer was 'the Trinity' (how's that for a coincidence?).

So a day in which to give thanks for so many things.
For those I have engaged with.
For the places I have found myself.
For the conversations had.
May the things that divide us be made things that bring understanding and respect.
The things that we use to condemn others never be turned against us.
And may the love of God, and of his image made real in the person before us, never be weakened by the meanness of our hearts.

Journal: In the Ditch

What an absolutely amazing night - the day was as busy as Mondays usually are with meetings, home Communions and a funeral and then there was the first 'Dying - in the Ditch' - a totally unknown quantity.

Having spoken to people about their endeavours I soon realised that the stand up and hold court, lecture, and the like wasn't the way forward for this event and so it was a beer a low key start as conversations began. But the place was pretty much packed and the noise of conversation and laughter - the topics and the way that people began to engage - had me leave at the end of the night with a big grin.

And so it's onwards and upwards with some planning to be done for the next one and some thinking about what else needs to be done in such a brilliant venue. Ged and Ade, who run the place, were absolute stars for all their help and hopefully this is the beginning of something really effective in the lives of some of Tamworth's inhabitants.

Wasn't a 'godbothering' event - no prayers, hymns, sermons or collections - but an opportunity to bring some sense of peace and healing into a few lives. And I know who I work for.

So Lord, thank You for a stunning day - for those with whom I have engaged a massive Thank You.
Strengthen my arms that the ministry opportunities in this place might be seen and acted upon. Help me to pastor the flock and to steady the wobbly.

Alleluia or what?

Journal: I'm different!

I can't describe the feelings that the closing day has brought me. Well I can but it would sound trite and the potential to do it an injustice is so great I guess I can but say, "Wow!".

Somewhere in today there was a gentle funeral service, some wonderful home Communion visits, some funeral prep which left me positive and blessed, some pastoral encounters and an evening spent with a great bunch of people as we studied and formed our individual theological positions and found ourselves united in it.

I was once told that life is like a giant slinging tile puzzle, you can't lift the tiles to set the order - the classic 'fifteen tile game' being something I think we all know - so you have to move in sometimes unexpected directions to get them into the right place; and when you do you have numbers or letters in the right sequence or a picture or whatever. This is what the Christian life is like with the objective being to see Jesus at the end of the game!

During the course of the day I was told on a few occasions that I am, "Not like 'normal vicars'!" As thankful as I am for being able to maintain my personal brand of weirdness, I have to say that I don't think I've met a normal cleric yet. So today I challenge one of those who had uttered the comment as to what they meant. At first they were a bit shocked and quickly told me that they meant it as a compliment. I responded by telling them that that's what I'd taken it as and was merely wondering what is was that made me 'abnormal'. "Not abnormal. Different!" Was the response; and before I could ask how, they told me. 

At the end of the encounter I found myself feeling blessed by who I am for in the words used to describe me were little squares on another person's puzzle and they were moving to show the face of Jesus becuase of their encounters with me. And through their encounters with me they were encountering Jesus, the Christ. 

This is all I life for, to make Christ known and to make for a passionate, engaged and redeemed image of the invisible God in every person I meet.

Please God, don't ever let me be whatever a normal cleric looks like, let be look and smell and be like  Jesus in the lives of those I encounter. May I be a pleasing aroma, a child who basks in the love of the Father at whose feet he plays, a man of the word and one who will always come alongside.

Lord for the day past I thank You.

For the noise and the mayhem that is me, I ask that you use what You can and recycle what distracts.

For those for whom I have been a blessing - thank You.

For those I have failed to help as I should - bless them and give me another opportunity.

For those who frustrate me and cause me to stumble by my wrong responses: bless them and change me.

As the song has it:

Lord You have my heart and I will search for yours: Jesus, take my life and lead me on.

Lord You have my heart and I will search for yours: Let me be to You a sacrifice.

Journal: 'Don't they know who we are?'

Had a great conversation in which my explanation of the Brexit negotiations (The first call for the EU negotiations is to preserve the interests of the member states and those who live and conduct business in it) was met with: "But don't they know who we are?"

I don't think I'd want that put into the mix after watching  'I, Daniel Blake', 'Viceroy's House' and 'United Kingdom' because I fear they might already know enough :-(

Today saw the final funeral of the month, preparations for the second ADCM of the year, the last home Communion of the week (been a good week - managed to get round to eight households), a generally strange Kid's Club (for reasons I can't quite put a finger on) and a bit of the old spiritual warfare - or as we have it in the vicaring business: "A pretty ordinary day!"

The UK, having decided it is no longer playing in Europe, is expected to resolve a number of issues before the European nations start talking about trade. Now I can't see what this is any surprise as I'd want to know whether I want you in my house before I start to talk about working with you, so why should U.K. / EU relationships be any different?

As the pawns begin to be moved I notice that there is a hint of attitude that says that Europe could do very nicely without the UK's participation in security and defence matters, which means,"Don't threaten to take your toys away, because we'll merely say "Not a problem, bye!" and move on!"

I am saddened by this whole thing and don't expect this, like any divorce, to be a joyous and positive experience for either of the parties, but the stance, "Do you know who we are - you can't live without us," is weak and destined to see tears before bedtime. This is not the opportunity for us to 'become great again' but the opportunity to go it alone is terms of trade whilst adhering to EU rules and regulations (if we want to trade in the EU that is) without having any say in their creation. This is not a regaining of independence and the days when the world was painted red on the maps. This is an opportunity for a different UK (should that be England and Wales?) where the disenfranchised, the poor, homeless and unemployed can be dealt with properly - but all I hear is immigration.

Today has been a day where God's call on this nation to seek Justice, exhibit mercy and live as a nation who, rather than ask,"Don't why know who we are?" instead lives humbly because we know who we are.

God calls us to welcome those who are strangers in our midst and we have the instruction to treat them as if they were nationals: To treat them as we'd wish to be treated. A grain of corn first has to die before it can bring forth a harvest. Perhaps there is something about our nation that needs to die before we can become something that flourishes and is fruitful too?

Lord, for the encounters today: I praise You.
For the places Your light has shone because I have carried Your light, I give you thanks.
For a nation which seeks to leave and yet retain all the benefits of membership, I pray for an awakening and an awareness of what we have begun and pray for the relationships with those outside our nation and for the relationships within it.

Lord, graciously hear us and take not Your Holy Spirit from us.

Journal: Sound of silence

One of the greatest funeral challenges comes in the shape of the unsaid eulogy. Now usually I make sure that I have sufficient notes to do something regardless of whoever it is that is doing the eulogy, but the temptation to scrimp on a person's history is always with us and when a eulogy turns into a poem, you can find yourself on thin ice! Just saying.

Yesterday was an action packed event with a church service, a couple of crem' visits (with a Warden's meeting in the space between), kid's club and a dinner to speak at. Add to this a garnish of administration (which, like the poor will always be with us) and you have yourself a fairly rammed sixteen hours of vicaring.

Reflecting in the day I found myself ticking 'hoped for' many boxes.
Dead honoured - yep.
Gospel preached - every opportunity I had.
Pastorally engaged - pretty much, although wilted a bit by the afternoon with my engagement and wasn't as sparkly and whatever as I could have been.
Prayer - felt a bit of a 'cat's lick and a promise' day once daily office was squared away.
Abrasiveness - kept being smiley and suffered fools (and there were a few yesterday) pretty well: Must be growing up a bit!
Worship - loads of it.
Paperwork and admin' - enough to avoid drowning :-)

So Lord, we've come through another day together and survived.
Thank You for today - let's do it again tomorrow, perhaps with a bit of 'slow time' in it. (Did I really used to teach time management?)

Journal: A good send off

what a stunning day! It was another long one but it totally rocked as we did a back-to-back services with Communion and then a funeral for one of our lovely ladies. Add to this some home Communions and a bit of admin (which like the poor, will always be with us) and that's a day nicely discharged.

The funeral was amazing and the place was so full we had people standing - a real tribute to a superb woman. We had tears, laughter, hymns and a Mikey Cyrus song sung too. Who said Anglicans were caught up in boring church :-)

The Crem' was nicely balanced and ticked all the right boxes too and the gathering afterwards was a joy to behold. Oddly, though I don't usually go to the wake thing I've found myself at two this week and enjoyed them and the interaction. Perhaps I should impose myself more?

Another high spot came in the delivery of a Royal Signals flag for a funeral I have next week. Having asked around, no one seems to have one and so the only answer was to add to my collection of the things. This is a real value-added element and something that makes the service for some people.

Now planning to scatter ashes on the spot in the country where a young courting couple spent their romantic evenings fifty years before - a nice touch and something I've only done once before (found out later it was the place where the plans for their first child were laid down - which made for red faces for some, including the first child!!!!). Ever been sorry you asked about the significance of a place or something?

Home Communions are just so very cool and it's nice to see faces light up because you've arrived rather than because you're leaving (and I know a few that applies to) which is the view some have of clergy.

Mental health is a big issue and it's getting bigger by the day. One is so interesting that having mentioned it to some people who deal with that sort of thing, they've decided to make it a problem shared, which is unusual - but welcome. If only there were more support workers, crisis team staff, mental health units and enthusiasm for this area. So the prayer continues (as does the standing in the gap).

Lord, for all I have seen and been and done today, help me to be a blessing and to learn from all that has been. May tomorrow with its funerals, visits and unexpected be filled with You and Your presence.

And thank you for today.

Journal: where did that day go to?

I knew it was going to be busy but . . .  That has to be the label for today!

Started early and ended in the next day as funeral preparation, a funeral, a sneakily added home Communion, music practice, bishops certificate (I'm sure that should have an apostrophe) and then a tidy up of the church building for a funeral and more admin were found to be in the box marked 'today'.

A nice funeral - not sure why we went in so late but the person in front wasn't going to rush even though they could see it was drifting away from them. But we made a good fist of it and clawed five minutes back for the next persona and did it all with the star of the day taking their bow. The Gospel was preached and the dead honoured: Doesn't get much better than that really.

That said, there appears to be an increasing trend, a return to the early days when I started doing funerals, to plaster saint those who have gone; not sure I'd be comfortable saying what the person in front of me said. The day is coming when the hearts of all will be revealed and the deeds done in the darkness witless be exposed to the light, so we need to check that the things we are and do accordingly - and one of the ways of doing this is the examen; an action much like this.

There were so many joys to be found in today:
1. Lord, for the opportunity realised and taken to bring bread and wine into the day of one person, I give You thanks. To be able to stand as friend and priest is the ultimate joy for me and to minister You in word and sacrament, and proclaim your love, is a privilege and joy beyond measure.

2. For the. opportunity to minister your grace and proclaim your gift of life realised as we pay our respects to a departed loved one, my gratitude for the role and the access to things it receives knows no bounds. As I think of those who have gone before and those left behind, commending them to Your grace, love and mercy, and holding those who remain in Your love and my prayers, I offer You my hands and heart.

3. I thank You for the opportunity to correct error. Help me always to study Your word that I may neither preach, nor live, in error. Take my mind and discipline me to be true and authentically Yours. may I revel in the label 'born again' and may I never be captured by the disease of numbers and the lure of the clink of coins.

4. For the places today where my careless word or thoughtless action has wounded, I lay this and those I may have wounded before You. Create in me a clean heart and a willing mind to minister Your Grace to all. Those who have been blessed by our encounters I can but credit to You and give You thanks.

Lord, You know my needs and my very thoughts are known to You before a word leaves my lips.
You know my needs and my wants and deal with them accordingly.
You provide my daily bread and prepare a way before me that I might follow Jesus, the Christ.
Forgive me my sins as a model for the way I should forgive others, minister to me as You would have me minister to others that I might learn and be made whole in, and for, and through, You.
For You are my hope, my health, my love and my life.

Journal: A day off

Well, a third of a day off anyway!

Before the world starts the, "You have to take your day off," tirade, I had to square away some of the funerals in terms of getting the CDs burnt, the service paperwork done, a regimental flag found (ended up buying one from ebay), and other arrangements made. The next seven days have as many funerals (and there's none on the weekend) so it's a bit of a marathon. In fact with nineteen, which was not only the average age of the US soldier in Vietnam, is now but the high water mark of my monthly funeral service tally. A new record - can't be bad can it?

The day started with the usual daily Office (usually done between 04:30 and 06:00 depending on what's ahead - the busier I am, the earlier it gets done) and soon found itself taken up by funeral stuff. By 07:30 I'd had a brew and was well into the first set of stuff.

It's odd but I have come to realise that the world at large assumes that service just happen. If only this were true, but the reality is that to get liturgy and content in the right place, to do the right stuff about people, get names right, make sure the tensions in the service (any service, every service) are created and resolved: This takes work. Thankfully there are colleagues who work at providing quite poor liturgy as a spur for me to keep in working at it!

So notes written up, myriad numbers of telephone calls made (seems I spoke to one FD nine times during the course of the morning), service and other related sheets put together, printed and put in their relevant envelopes - I found myself done such that lunch and a film became ours a little before half one. A great day thus far, and for that, time with the other half was my reward and joy for the second part of the day.

We went to the wrinkly film club. It so unlike my earlieat film club experiences where I'd buy a ticket (3p) and head to the toilet to let my mates in through the fire exit before we sang the rousing 'We are the boys and girls well known as, the minors of the ABC . . . '.

Today's extravaganza coat £3 and came with a brew (Tea, the nectar of the gods - unless it's the stuff most churches dish up after the service). The film was 'I, Daniel Blake' and it didn't take long to see why they'd checked for concealed weapons before we entered, after all the Job Centre is only across the road from the cinema! This is a must see for people and I think it's a film we need to show to Church sometime. The film is about a man and his dealings with the benefits and employment related processes in the U.K. It made me angry, reduced me to tears and brought back so many memories of when I worked in that sector. Church was seen in it as perhaps one of the only true moments of hope.

Film finished, we left ready to have a fight - the adrenaline was flowing - with the shops as I purchased more comestibles to feed my heavy administrative appetite before heading home. Got home and then (without a brew) went and did a food shop and saw no one I knew; which is so very odd it made me stop and think for a moment. A trip out without encountering a single soul:; had the apocalypse begun?

Home again (without any sense of a bit of  'jiddedy jig' or a fat pig in eveidence) a bit more funeral admin before an episode of 'The Undertaker' (I kid you not) - my TV of choice at the moment and then a snuggle in the settee with a good wife (left the book elsewhere) and a chick flick on Netflix. Bliss.

Early to bed tonight (before midnight) and now all is quiet in the house and the breathing next to me is regular as a little hushed it's time to reflect on where me and God have been today. It's now that I realise how many opportunities for engagement I've had today thanks to the telephone - something we clergy (and the world) seem to have forgotten as we text and email our way through the day.

Lord, for the opportunities to enter the homes of others through a bit of copper I can but thank You. For the difference a call has made - the making of a virtual incarnacy theirs - I give You praise. Not as good as a simple touch and a real presence, but today I will give You thanks because as I was in one place, You, and another person were standing with me in the work of being Church as they visited someone in hospital.

Lord, help me to raise up born again believers who give without counting the cost. Help me to walk I Your footsteps and experience the security and life-changing reality that this brings and may others walk in those footsteps behind me - for aren't we called 'leaders' as well as followers.

Father for the daily bread, the forgiveness of my sins, the fact that today I do not think I have out You to the test but walked as friends in partnership as family: I love You so very much. Bless all I am and do tomorrow - may my encounters speak of You and my life show Your love and the work of Your hand.

Let's do this again tomorrow, eh?

Journal: Men's breakfast, A party and more

Had a go at a men's breakfast today - good turn out and great fun. Really weird when I find myself about to stand up and still not sure what I'm supposed to say. But it went and I was reminded of so much that God has done in my life. Memories of blind seeing and other amazing things were dropped in front of me as I played the cards before me.

It's odd but when I think of the various phases of my life and the opportunities I have been given, and how easily we forget them as time moves on, I realise how blessed I am. And have been - for so many years as a Christian.

Phase two of the day was taken up with funeral visits and related stuff - also encouraging and fun before we hit the last phase in which we had a birthday party and filled the church building. Talked to many new people and had a really energised evening.

Kept coming back to the 'is there a man amongst you who'd offer his son a stone if he asked for bread or a snake is he asked for fish? If we, being awful can give our kids good things, how much more will God, who is good, give his kids?

Sunday looks 'interesting' with fives services in two different locations - nine of them home - some of the natives looked restless when they found I wasn't going to be with them. Needs so Prayer, wisdom and stuff I reckon.

For today's bread - the forgiveness I have been shown (and shown), the trust rather than test that has been today's walk and the ability to touch people with You love.
Lord accept the praises and thanks of a simple man.

Journal: Meeting in McDonald's

Another action packed day: Started with the Daily Office followed by Admin and service prep, Thursday Communion, funeral visit,  service in the Crem', cup of tea, service in the church building, quick stop to chat and drink tea with the mourners, home Communions, quick bite to eat and then off to another funeral visit in a McDonald's between me and the home of the person sorting the service (so I could be somewhere between their home and mine).

A mixed and sad day as I've been taking the deceased Communion for some time now and have known them for some fourteen years and valued, respected and loved the man. The privilege of doing any funeral is always tinged with the reminder that I am not there to let my personal grief be indulged with. There's a person who I have seen on a few occasions conducts funerals at the Crem' and they invariably cry during the service - one day, without being prompted, they told me that they always find the service to be sad and 'always' cried. That made me sad because surely, if that's the case, then the service either becomes about you, leads the people into tears and exacerbates their distress (one they took had pretty much everyone howling - I know because the FD officiating called me over and pointed it out!) and takes the focus off the person in the box beside you.

From funeral to home Communions where I had the privilege of sharing my privilege with someone looking to make this ministry their own. They enjoyed the experience (I think, haven't debriefed them yet) and the next step is to run through the home Communion theology, service sheets and the way we keep the liturgical year. It is so good to have people come and ask to do stuff - a real blessing indeed.

So with two of my home Communion customers having cancelled their standing orders for a happy meal visit, I'm in the lookout for more. Thankfully have added three more customers and have the potential of two more - so the empire building continues. Have what looks like three more care homes to add to the list too so if all goes well might not only be going corporate but have another volunteer in the offing too so expanding the workforce too!

All I need is a volunteer for the admin' and I can settle down into the stuff of ministry: Winning souls for Christ and pastoring them.

Off to look at last year's stat's!

Lord, I thank You for the gifts you give, the gifts of grace which help us live, and ministering before Your throne I truly strive them all to know; and especially pray, with fervent heart, that of them all there's two whose part I pray that others they will know as in their daily walk they grow.
So Lord this day may administration and celibacy find someone with a stronger, tidier, mind.
Give me the broken and ignore my desk!

Journal: it's the wrong film Gromit!

A day of four halves - that's the only way I can describe it. Two very different people in the funeral prep' process two very frustrating telephone calls, two CDs sorted for funeral services and one film watched as part of the bishops certificate course.

Every funeral is different and each, albeit often tacit, present challenges and demands. Some you have enough information, some you don't. Some are smooth and comfortable whilst others are the equivalent of a sandpaper lined jockstrap! Nevertheless, the end result is always to be something that sees the people leave in a positive, dare I say 'happy  in this context, frame of mind - this, and the preaching of the realised hope that is Jesus, the Christ.

Loads of telephone calls preceded, followed, and surrounded today's meetings. Two of them were difficult for a number of reasons as It seems we live in a world where support for certain types of 'at risk' people has magically been spirited away by stealth. The powers that be (and I guess this eventually lands at the door of the government) have led this country into a place where support for the vulnerable no longer really exists and we have social workers who walk away for obvious need with the excuse that that's not their area of involvement and to that's someone else's issue to deal with!

Goodness me (politeness gene working), what on earth is happening?

Well what's happening is that a man who is unable to temporarily remain in their own home because of transient medical (physical and mental) needs is left to do as best they can as the social worker leaves them to it because they only work with the mental health aspect of the need. The physical needs are such that the person cannot comfortably or safely get themselves food and are potentially in a place where they might end up accidentally hurt themselves because of the symptoms presented and home situation. So the social work element merely appears to have left with a shrug and the exeat: 'not my job'!

Trying to call alleged care giver I find the department has but one telephone number and that rings off the hook. Upon enquiringly I'm told that there might be no one in - this is not impossible for on more than one occasion I've called similar people and teams only to be told that there's no one available because they are:

a. ALL on holiday

b. ALL away for a training day

c. ALL having lunch

I'll leave it there in this medium but you better believe that before I'm done there will be a hefty need of Preparation H for some of those I'm going to be seeking out and having a little word with.

The other frustration today revolves around the 'volunteer' organisation coordinator who loves the role and the organisation but lacks the wit to actually join the dots and respond appropriate to the need. Suffice to say it was like calling the fire brigade because your house was on fire only to be met with, "So why are you calling us?"

Last night a few of us watched a film together and the choice made was 'Shadowlands'. This theodicy laden offering was a sublime and yet stunning in one hit. Lots to discuss from this sometime soon.

Lord You forgive my sin, feed my body, challenge my thinking, and excite my very being.

Keep it up and pop back soon.

An interesting funeral day

What an interesting and varied funeral-related day it has been. I've done a service in church, a service in the crematorium, another service in a rain soaked cemetery a memorial service, arranged two more funerals, given one away and had a much loved church member die (the second in less than a week).

Anyone who knows me also knows just how much I love funerals- for I regard them as one of the best bits of the clerical role a along with evangelism, apologetics, seeing people make a decision for Christ, preaching, studying, making music, being pastoral, and making time with God in prayer and reflection (which is a very special place I get to visit far too rarely).

So today I climb out of bed and having written my final bits of paper for the services, I read them through so that everything is fresh in my memory so I don't need to look at the paper when speaking at the deceased. This is a small and simple step but I have to say I struggle with people reading stuff (usually in a wooden manner) about the deceased. This, along with getting names and material facts wrong, is a sin that's up there with running over allotted time in the crem'

I almost always burn a back up CD of the music to be played in the service - it's part of the OCD funeral person I have become - and this is something that has served me and the people I'm doing the funeral for extremely well as the number of times a CD doesn't play is now in excess of 10%.

There are a number of reasons for doing a backup CD:
i. It means that there is a back up system in place should things go wrongs,
ii. It means that I have a CD at the service whose quality and ability to play is assured,
iii. If the people for whom I am doing the service need help, then I have provided it by producing the CD for them - this ticks box i. and ii. and adds a little more support to the bereaved as it takes pressure off them and resolves some of my concerns (I still burn two CDs though).

So today, having finished with stuff by 02:00 and being just a tad tired after a riotous 17hr day, for some reason, I didn't burn a CD. Arriving at the church for the first service I find that the CD is nowhere to be seen - so I jump in the car, pop home and burn one for them. Arriving back we get started and as we process in the verger stands at the nave and says / mouthes / sort of half shouts, "It won't play!" (I swear I hear the word Gromit at the end, but who knows I could just be going a bit bonkers!!).

Undeterred we carry on and I do the beginning of the service and as the congregation sing the first hymn I pop and have a try. Nope, the same CD that played in the car on my return journey to the church is not playing - the CD player has given up the ghost - on to plan B.

As the congregation continue to sing (thank You Lord for long hymns) I swiftly visit the iTunes Store and purchase the tracks required for the rest of the service. After this the service potters along the well worn tracks of funeral with nary a hitch, although playing the first of the reflection pieces by plonking my iPhone on the microphone did cause more than a few smiles from some of the assembled folk. And as we left, microphone pointing to iPhone, I thanked God for the ability to problem solve, smile and possess technology.

So that was an interesting start to the day and the trip to the crematorium, for a man I cared about and have much respect, was the complete opposite experience as it was one of those where the rhythm turned a potentially leaden service into pure gold.

The visit to the cemetery, in torrential rain (thank God for cloaks) was a pretty long drawn out affair and many of those who arrived did so in dribs and drabs and this meant some of us had been gathered for almost twenty-five minutes. That's sure to see me with a cold by the time we hit next week!!

But a straightforward and steady service, as I walked from the grave whilst, a la Beatles, no one might have been saved, they were certainly shown the Saviour :-)

Memorial services are always a little challenging because there is a danger that as the service progresses we will introduce to the assembled masses a new deity, The balance between pointing to God, doing the deceased justice, telling the stories, comforting the bereaved and celebrating a life lived is delicate and precise. The blessing of having my own PA and microphones and other kit means that I can control and manage the talk and technical side - like burning CDs - another OCD belt and braces element.

But the memorial went well. It had God and the deceased standing side-by-side, and those present happy at the end result.

All in all, a very pleasing and blessed day - amazing to walk in and realise that eleven of the hours that today has contained has been directly associated with funeral. Perhaps this have been the 'one day' I work sorted then?

Another day another . . .

opportunity to minister God's Grace.

Today was a day very much taken up by ministering to the bereaved - one opportuniy came in that shape of a service at the Crematorium, another took me on a visit, another still a gathering for a family to remember being family and to remember loved ones who had departed, yet another taken up with paperwork and the preparations for a service next week - and more pastoral stuff besides.

It has been a most wonderful day indeed.

Lord, comfort those who mourn and strengthen those with mental health issues. Help us to be willing and ready to be a support and friend in the dark times and to set the captives free from the dark places.

For those I have met and the opportunities to engage I thank you - help me to serve and give and never count the cost - carrying my cross and denying myself and my sill ambitions.

Bless and equip me to be a blessing I pray.

Wow! Hallelujah!

A day in which just about everything has shone. Good news on the pastoral front. Another amazing funeral that saw the Gospel preached and the bereaved blessed. God's love was made real in a number or ways to a number of people: And I got to be part of it all"

The only words I can think of are: Wow!  and Hallelujah!

Going to bed with a smile on my face and praise on my lips - can this get any beget that this (without the return of Jesus)?

Today started with Isaiah 55 - so many nuggets in it: 'seek God while you can, and 'God's word never returning empty' with the cherry that is 'going out in joy and being led back in peace'. And I was, and I did and I am and ... Wow! The psalms underpinned all that and the nod to Lot and judgement and stuff just made the task before me more important still.

Lord for the places my feet were found I thank you.

For the times when I was aware of your presence in my life today I bless you.

For the presence of your Holy Spirit acting in those I saw I worship you.

Today and its labours have come to an end - give me sleep and make me to rise tomorrow with added zeal, increased courage and a gentleness of spirit. 

Help me to bring peace where there is none; understanding where there is ignorance and confusion: love and acceptance where there is rejection and pain. Help me to be your man and to take Jesus, the Christ, into all that I do and am.

And a postscript: be for those who have needs today the God who answers by fire.

Bless you God - Marantha. 

Never give up, never give in

what a day - triumphs, reignited passion, people laid to rest; all this topped with an amazingly energetic and noisy Kid's Club. How can anyone say this calling thing is anything but varied and fun?

Lord than you for the privilege of being part of someone's funeral - the joy of discovering and communicating who the departed is in such a way that comfort, strength and the hope made real in Jesus, the Christ, is made real for those who mourn. It is sublime!

The blessing of being able to stand with others, not as Christ for them but alongside Christ with them, blessing, caring, sharing and supporting. Goodness me - how much blessing can we get in a day?

The joy of seeing connections made and steps, albeit 'baby steps' at times, is inspiring and privileged in the extreme.

Strengthen my arms that the battle may be won. Help me to contend against that which stands against us. Teach me to walk slower, listen more and be a little less excited - but not too much :-)

Help me to pray for the apparently distracted, for those who appear to think about spreadsheets and bums on pews rather than the Gospel truths. To not be caught up in the silliness of the ivory towered career rather than the kneeling in a stable worship and calling.

Help our bishops to be pastoral, preachers and exemplars, leaving the waiting at tables (and construction of them) to those who reside in the diocesan corridors. MBA or the Jesus way. Which is the one that speaks of calling?

May today's encounters have blessed those I've met and may tomorrow be a day of opportunity taken, right words spoken and Christ made real in all I do.

And for the person who was apologising more than they were an apologist for the calling in them: fill them and inspire them I pray.

Make me a blessing Lord

"You're good at so many things . . .

" . . . But having a day off isn't one of them." Talk about a two-edged sword!

Today was a day off, but the am bit was taken up with funeral related stuff: Squaring away the arrangements and burning CDs, doing a bit of post-production on the service recordings, writing eulogies and orders of service. There were the conversations with the funeral directors and family members and loads of stuff like that. Only seven more funerals to Christmas - been a quiet years with sixty-two done by the end of the year if no more come in.

Had some great visits yesterday and today was all about making sense of the information gathered and doing a bit of digging to discover more about the family and the deceased in particular.

The afternoon was taken up, mostly, with sorting out stuff for the church kitchen and editing some audio for the service on Sunday as I'm going to be elsewhere for the second week on the trot. Not a very welcome thing that, people want to have their minister on deck and when I'm away too much they feel a bit - wotsit!

Music practice went well and after that there was a director's meeting for the academy, which was also a blast. There's nothing better than a good accountant, makes the money stuff accessible and a joy.

Spent time with one of the church members - that's two of them who I've had an engagement with this week in a special way. It's good to talk with them and even better to talk to God about them afterwards. The intercessory thing is so blessed important and such a joy. Had an urge to pray for someone this week and then they turn up and make me think there must be something in the so many coincidences that frequent my life.

Need to get more time away to read the world and listen to the Lord - I love being in places and situations where time becomes elastic (sorry Catriona) and the traffic outside the church door becomes silent. Thinking and praying for the Taizé Communion this Sunday evening - to be in a sacred space and to feel the hair rise on the back of one's neck and sense the move of God; to pray and have the assurance that the need, unspoken though it might be, is dealt with.

And the issue of spiritual warfare came up again - in the old days we thought nothing of getting stuck in and the training (and experience) in working on the odd side of life - naming, binding, casting out and the like - it was what we did. Now I hear people saying we need the 'experts'! We are the experts, for if a non-believer can shut the door on the other side, how much more can we who are filled with the power and light of God's Holy Spirit do the stuff? He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world and so we triumph over them by the power of the cross making a public spectacle of them.

There are never two days alike in this life, we step out in faith and we seek to hear the Lord as we plant each step. How very blessed I am to be me. May my encounters today (it's after 01:00) be ordained by you and may I have ears that hear your voice and lips that work a little less!!

Build your kingdom Lord - use me to be a part of it - make me a peacemaker and help me to always give an answer for the hope that I have in Jesus, the Christ. Never let me lose sight of the fact that it is 'primus inter pares' (first among equals) and to never count anyone lesser that I count myself to be.

Thank you for dying for me and making me whole - Hallelujah!

When they needed a neighbour

Can we say I was there?

Today has been a day of death with multiple visits to plan funerals, comfort the bereaved and to make real the desire that the last opportunity for someone to be in the same physical place (until the Lord's return) is as good as can possibly be.

Our days are numbered and the journey through life is marked with many triumphs and tinged with the sadness of separation and acts of selfishness. But I am called to bring the light of Christ into the world and the lives of those I meet.

A church member once said of a cleric I knew, "The man could bring joy to a gathering by leaving the room! May I never become such a curse :-(.  May I be an influence for good and make the party no worse even if I cannot make it any better.

Lord for those who have wished me harm - I pray that your light and peace might touch them and that you would lead them into places where their hearts are made whole and their lives know the joy of your presence.

For those who stand with me as family, I can but give you thanks. For it is never right for us to walk alone.

For those who seek to serve you, may I be the means by which this is made real.

For those whose bodies and minds are broken - bring your healing and wholeness.

I thank you for the opportunities ministry brings and the joy of Communion with you. For the new clergy who have come to our patch, may they be blessed and be a blessing. For those who have been here for so long, may they not grow stale but rejoice at the opportunities we share and all that is before them. For the people of God in this place - may they be one, active in their love, faithful in their lives.

What a great day - let's do this again tomorrow.
You play the tune and I'll dance.
You show me your face and I will be healed.
Sola fide

What's the 'best' bit of the job?

It's amazing how many people ask me that question during the week, and when they do there are normally a few assumptions made along with the asking - so how's about we have a quick consideration of what they think might be true concerning me and my ministry:

The most common assumption this time of the year is, with Christmas just around the corner, that I'm coming up to my 'busy' time. In fact this is a smoke and mirrors moment because I always feel that the run up to Christmas is perhaps one of my quietest. Since people assume I'm busy, they leave me alone and so I'm left with the highly visible carol concerts, Christingles, school plays and the like  which in turn confirm my busyness. I'm never any more busy during the Christmas run in and what is before me is always, generally speaking, fun.

The most common assumption all year round is that weddings must be the 'best' bit and funerals (which is where the topic is often raised) must be the worst, or at least saddest, and therefore probably the 'worst' bit! Here, perhaps surprisingly for the many who present me with the, "I bet weddings are the best bit of the job, aren't they?" I have to say that that title would go to the funerals I conduct. This generally results in a bit of a shock and the question, "Really?"

One of the most amazing opportunities I have is that of making the experience of someone about to be in the same physical space with a loved one for the last time as positive and enjoyable (a word people often look shocked at) as it can be. If I can bring the person to life in anecdote and confirm the positives and demonstrate how the negatives we're part of the journey and therefore part of the person (without diminishing the person  making things a curse) and do all this with the opportunity for them to laugh, smile and remember the deceased - and in so doing create a service the deceased would enjoy being at (because they are, aren't they?)- then I've done it right.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy weddings, but they are a different animal and the connections made (regardless of how hard you work at them) are not the same as those made at a funeral.

The most common 'funny' assumption is that old chestnut which states hat we clergy only work one day a week, and that's Sunday. Of course, being a bit of a fundamentalist fanatic (a label I won after telling a churchwarden in a place I was visiting that he needed to be modelling Christ for the congaregatiin and the community of which he was a pillar) I have to tell them lthat, because of the fourth commandment, I never work on Sunday! Now that's an invitation to an interesting conversation for sure!

And I don't work on a Sunday - I worship - just as I have done on a Sunday for as long as I have realised my salvation lies in Jesus, the Christ, and called myself a Christian. Oddly, some of those I meet (including clergy) seem to think that being a cleric is a job and that when they have a Sunday off this means they don't have to go to church* - church on Sunday is not a workplace to be set free from, to see it as that is to forget that underneath it all we are all laos (The people of God) and reduce calling to nothing more than yet another job, albeit a job of a very different kind.

Perhaps that's why some of those I meet tell me of how they operate Office hours, answerphones going on outside of them, and how the Vicarage is their home and not a place that people should be visiting coming to engage with them.  Meanwhile I long for the days when the daily routine was walking (or in some other way covering) the patch and engaging with the people of the parish.

Ministry is about relationship and relationships are about people and underpinning, and overarching, that is the reconciled life in God the Father. enabled by the Holy Spirit, won for us by Jesus, the Christ.

So the real answer is all of it, all of the time - yes even at 2:30 in the morning when one of those in the patch who is mentally ill is having a crisis, because we stand with them as Christ stands with us - and who knows, they might just be an angel ;-)

So Lord, Thank You for today, the opportunities, the blessings and the challenges, keep them coming.

* I love holidays amd the opportunity to go worship somewhere different and, best bit for me, be on the  receiving end of a blessing.

More reasons to be cheerful

Another day done and I can reflect on more privilege-laden happenings:

The joy of engaging with those who are suffering from the debilitating effects of dementia; an awfulness in which the sea of confusion slowly comes in and leave less of the beach for the person to exist on until they are overwhelmed and lost in the waves. Yet, even when the tide has come in, the enagagement with those who are now all at see in the shape of the Eucharist, the surfacing of the person as the Lord's Prayer is recalled and said from a small reef amidst it all, the lights coming back on - drawing merely upon the past remembered or making connections because of the externally, never to be forgotten?

I know what I think :-)

And then more engagement with someone who mourns the loss of a loved one. The privilege of being asked to make special that last moment when a departed loved one is in the same physical place with them for one last time. Surely one of the most important roles a cleric can have as we seek to make sense of a life now ended and point to a hope made real, and realised, in the death and resurrection of Jesus, the Christ.

An then there was the opportunity to discuss love and duty and to explain how 1 Corinthians speaks of a love that makes a habitation, a shelter, for the focus of that love in the storms of life. To join the dots such that we realise that love calls us to do what is right and that duty is merely the obverse side of thc coin we call love - and reflect on the reality that those who march away to protect strangers, in doing so, exhibit a greater love - one which may call on them to lay down their lives.

Add to this the usual round of conversations with funeral directors and people seeking simple answers to astounding questions; the challenges of seeing sin break lives and those broken merely seeing it as 'bad luck' - how do we explain that playing in the train track is likely to get you hit by a train and knowing the words 'sin, self and selfishness' all need to feature in the cast list at the end of the tragedy before you - and still restore them gently?

And yet, as ever, we manage it because to do it any other way would be to potentially cause us to stumble too!

Just a glimpse at a day where blessing and the Christ have been found in amazing quantities - another day when the privilege of a dogcollar and and ever-present, loving, God make bed a happy place to reflect on and look excitedly for the next day to come.

Lord - I love you!