The Rupert Bear Prayer Book (RBPB)

I recently attended a service which was obviously delivered according to the latest version of the RBPB. I have to admit that I'm probably just a Philistine but I do struggle with some of the gross, doggerel-laden liturgy that is so solemnly delivered and purports to be worship. Not sure what I mean? Well, here's an example of the sort of thing I mean, it's exaggerated but not that far from what I have been forced to sit through over the years.

Follow the rubric and enjoy a trip to Rupert Bear's Prayer Book and all its wonders. (Imagine a dark winter night and a many candle-lit church as in comes your host and compere for the service)

A Service of Twilight Prayer

In the name of the God who brought the Son to be the glory of the Father by the power of the Spirit, welcome and may grace, love, mercy, joy and peace be with you all.
And also with you

We come tonight to share God's love and offer praise to God above.
We come to share His love!

We come as strangers, friends not known, this is the place where love is grown.
We come to share His love!

We come here at the close of day to read God's word, to sing and pray.
We come to share His love!

Come Lord Jesus be our guest let us find in you our rest.
We come to share His love!

A reading from the Scriptures (please sit) followed by a time of reflection and prayer (please sit or kneel or stand) after which a song may be sung.

The Reading[s]

A time of prayer, intercession, biddings and testimony follows:

God, place in my life today a sense of you along the way and as on my pilgrim path I tread provide for me my daily bread.

Lord place upon my life this hour a sense of you and all your power, and when I feel like giving up let me drink from your sweet cup.

Christ place into my wild distress your peace and calm I need no less, for I am troubled and a mess.

Spirit as I struggle in the night I know that I will be all right, for you, the dove, you fly ahead, guide me safely to my bed.

We say together the Lord's Prayer in the traditional form

We bless each other:

Thanks be to God, the father, Son and Holy Spirit. The lifegiver, the paraclete, the Almighty and eternal three in one. We bless you Lord.

Blessing and honour and glory and power and majesty and might and love eternal be yours here and everywhere, now and for ever. Amen.

O,K, It's a bit over the top, but not much and whilst I really enjoy writing fresh liturgy and exploring the many ways we can bless God and one another I am really struggling with this new generation of intense (yet sincere) worship.

I have been stunned over the years by the different ways we can pray. At the church I'm in we have a 'multi-sensory' prayer service on the second Sunday evening each month and I meet God in so many different and marvellous ways through so many amazing means.

I love great liturgy and can be found worshipping God in BCP (yes, really!), Taizé, Celtic, CW and just about any style and label you can think of, but there are limits and these have been reached and the question needs to be asked:

But why do we we do it? There's the Celtic services which range from the most stunningly Spirit-filled happenings that shoes almost need to be removed to the silliest, trite and banal stuff you can ever wish not to attend. the modern services which place God in the centre of 'today's church' - as if he wasn't there regardless of the words we use.

I know I'm being a bit 'me! actually' but please, a plea to those who have to have a go at the Rupert Bear, which for those who are too young to know of him was full of rhyming couplets, please keep it in your own bathroom or for private prayer. If you can't please don't invite me to be a part and most of all, don't subject captive congregations (and this sad vicar) to your efforts.

This page is writ and so with glee I hit the 'post' button and go off for tea. Thanks be to God!

ps. This is very much written in the style of my old, "Ha, ha, very funny homework contribution - house detention!" days.