Vicar saves our nation - welcome Foreign people!

Next Saturday sees the final parade of the men and women of the 35 (South Midlands) Signal Regiment (V).

Formed in 1967, this Regiment has seen its members serve in just about every theatre of operation across the world during its forty-two year existence. Like every regiment, and especially like every Territorial Army regiment, this was more than a group of men and women wearing uniform doing Army stuff, it was (and is) a family. A family who fight together at times but is also always there for each other but despite the pressures of Afghanistan and commitments elsewhere we apparently don't need it (or the other signals regiments that have also gone!).

It seems to me that after having splashed out about 20% of Britain's GDP (Gross Domestic Product) , which is about two point three trillion pounds, the government is finding that it just can't pay the weekly bills and that contraction in military spending is just one of the ways of cutting back and making savings. It also seems to me that, as we are about to find ourselves saddled with a 'broadband tax' (a levy of fifty pence to the government each month because we have broadband coming in to our homes) that it won't be long before we return to 'window taxes'. We obviously can't revisit the 'hearth tax' and most of us have central heating rather than coal fires and chimneys these days, but perhaps there's still mileage in the 'Foreigner' tax as enacted by the Canadian government against err, foreigners (in this case they were Chinese). This tax, which began in the 1880's (if my memory serves me correctly) and ran until the mid 1920's and so it obviously worked for them!

What a great tax, we can actually benefit from having a totally incompetent Home Office and lax immigration policy and practice. Don't throw people from other nations out - tax them for being foreign! It's a sure fire winner.

We could perhaps set up a tariff according to which nations we didn't like most, although of course our natural enemy, the French, would be tax free as they're part of the EU! That Ted Heath and his federalist designs have a lot to answer for - after all, my Dad flew in Lancasters to stop us being 'European'!

So how would we tax the nations? Who'd be top of the list? How would you choose?

Americans with their innate sense of colour-clash dress sense and endearing, "Gee, everything over here is so much smaller!" comments?

The Aussies and South Africans with their modest and self-deprecating style?

You pick the behaviour and attitude traits of your own particular favourites and when you've done, why not write to the Home Secretary with your suggestions for the list?

You may turn over your paper now - get choosing :-)