Tuesday 26 January 2010

Life - in all its foolishness

I am rather confused by the story relating to the death of a woman who took her own life, or was 'helped' by her Mum or whatever. Confused because everyone is applauding the decision of a court and the fact that this life has ended. On the same news programme there was a report about a young man who, after an error by the hospital, was left cerebrally palsied. He  communicated by typing with his nose and was studying 'virtual engineering'. Add to this the stories of blokes damaged in rugger accidents who are hailed as heroes because they went of and took their own life and old geezers who entered into suicide pacts with their partners because they we merely 'getting old' and you might see the source of my confusion.

Life is not only no longer sacred it is, apparently, no longer worth anything either. If you can't have 'quality of life' then it seems that it's fair game to end it - after all if you can't contribute to society then you are obviously better off (I didn't say for whom) dead. If you can't play rugger then that's the end of life as we know it and we should all applaud as you go off to some sterile and sanitised killing place and do away with yourself. Funny thing is that the cerebrally palsied man couldn't play rugger, he couldn't do much actually and yet he has in prospect a full and chellenging life ahead of him. What's more important is the fact that he's also looking out for others.

Quality of life? Who is fit to choose who should live and who should die? What makes for a valuable life? What you earn, where you studied, how the world will change because you're in it? To be frank, on these criteria the majority of people I meet could be done away with and no one (except them and those who love them) would feel the impact.

I have to come clean and tell you that I am the father of a son who lived for almost ten years. He was also cerebrally palsied and could do very little, other than smile, and he changed the world of those who met him. Not a long life - no high earner, no good school, no great academic record (although he was a star in his school's Christmas play) and he died when it was time (even though we'd turned off ventilators and played the "Let's let nature take its course" game many times before). He died in his sleep at the time that it was time - no one's decision but God's I guess..

Psalm 139 tells us that 'All the days numbered for us were written in the Lamb's book of life before one of them came to be!" That is that what we get is known and in the book and when we decide to intervene then we take the opportunity to play God.

Trouble is that the felonious taking of life is 'murder' and even though man might remove the felony and applaud the act, I don't think God does! We are appalled at the loss of life in Haiti and yet applaud the taking of comfortable (I don't mean easy - merely western, fat, 'thing rich' comfortable) life because it allows us to play at being God. We're in control and we decide when, and how, we leave this world.

Ironic isn't it that those who will rail at God because of tragedy will applaud those who play at being God with tragic outcomes pre-desired because it interferes with quality of life.

One question - whose?

4 comments:

Jenni said...

I nursed for over 25 years and during that time I was with many many terminally ill people of all ages.

It is quite possible,as many who work in hospices and the like, will witness, to die with dignity and pain control,and have "quality time" whilst dying just as in life. Death is frightening to us in the West because it is facing the unknown and we would rather avoid it and pretend it doesn't happen.

If nurses and medical staff were better trained to see that helping someone "have a good death" was as much an important part of their profession as healing,and if death was a much less taboo subject, dying would be better managed.

Thank you for your post, Christians must speak out about dying, scripture assures us that because of our saviours death and resurrection, we will simply cross over in conversation with Him.

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

Thank you for your witness and the experience you bring to this post.

I have, in my hospital role, worked with a number of people who have lived wonderful lives and died well. As you say, it's a pity we don't do more in the training about managing life and bringing about the best quality of life we can in a quality way.

Thank you for your words.

Judah said...

My elderly and terminally ill father chose not to have mutilating surgery which may have extended his life briefly (and may not have, as his condition meant he could have died on the operating table) and we, his family, supported his decision. The day before he died a locum doctor stood by his bed, myself and my mother present, and loudly (so my Dad would be aware) and angrily abused and berated us for killing my father by this "selfish" decision. My elderly mother was devastated by this action, and my father was distressed. I was unspeakably angry but instead turned my efforts into comforting both my parents with compassion and good sense (I believed) but I have never forgotten that doctor's horrific outburst. It has been hard to forgive - he did a lot of harm. There is a time to live and a time to die, and it seems some have completely forgotten that God has much to do with it.

Judah said...

I can add to that... my father died later that eveing and that same doctor deliberately delayed signing the death certificate so that his body could not be moved until the following afternoon. I called the funeral director who was also horrified by what had happened and who intervened to get the doctor to do what was requeired. It was distressing enough to lose a dearly loved father and husband, let alone be purposely punished by that doctor in this way.