Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Tamworth Hustings - 9 Days to go

And, according to the pundits, the battle is hotting up and the latest polls see it like this:

Conservatives 34%

Labour             33%

UKIP                13%

Lib Dems          9%

Green Party      5%

It's so close that people I've spoken for today were telling me that they didn't know who to vote for. The answer is simple:

Then candidate who answers the questions and says what you think is right!

Bt if you don't ask, you won't get to find out, so make sure you are in St Editha's, Tamworth on Thursday 30th @ 7.30pm and perhaps you'll hear an answer that convinces you (or turns you off).

And on a lighter note:

An MP dies and finds himself at the pearly gates before St Peter who tells him that the has two choices: Heaven or Hell (please note this is not a theologically accurate joke). 

To aid those who come to the gates unsure of where they ought to be, the powers that be have decided that the deceased can have five minutes viewing time in each of the two venues.

So our parliamentarian jumps in a lift and descends to take a look at hell. When the doors open he sees many of those he knows from Westminster and they are waving, cheering and in between sips of champagne and obviously enjoying the experience.

The the doors shut and he presses button for 'Heaven'. The doors open and before him is heaven and it's full of people singing Graham Kendrick songs, eating soggy biscuits and drinking weak tea (just like after the service on Sunday)! 

Before he has fully recovered from such awfulness the doors close and he's back in the foyer with St Peter who asks him, 'Which is it to be, heaven or Hell?'

Without a moments hesitation he chooses Hell and no sooner than the words leave his mouth he is taken back to the life and the button is again pressed. As the doors open he is met by something awful. The people there are screaming in pain as the flames lick their bodies and there's such an awful sound that it makes his blood run cold.

Then, seeing satan, the politician rushes over and asks him, "What's going on, it wasn't like this when I looked around earlier?'

'Ah yes,' says satan, 'But that was before you voted wasn't it?'

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