The inner healing business - a paradox

Having been asked to elaborate on my comments:

"I have often been in a position where I want God to deal with something in me but I'm a bit frightened it will hurt and yet it doesn't. God deals with it gently and lovingly. So the next time I come to a place where I need healing (or correction) I 'bravely' tell God I want it dealt with, even if it hurts, and it does!"

Regarding 'inner' healing, I have many times over my Christian experience found myself facing attitudes and behaviours that I had come to realise were contrary to my Christian witness and were damaging my walk and relationship with God (and many others besides). Accordingly I would find myself asking God to deal with this area and there were times when attached to the behaviour or thought life were a number of painful memories. Sometimes there were hurts that had been inflicted upon me (intentionally and unintentionally) and perhaps failing and failures that were painful to even recall.

There would be times when I was aware of the pain associated with certain areas. It was real pain and it was felt by just thinking about it so the prospect of praying about it, repenting of my acts and forgiving others was quite frightening and painful in prospect. Yet, when I dealt with these areas, time and time again I found that God brought me to a place of forgiveness (for self as well as others), repentance and healing and the experience was not at all painful and the reality releasing and joyful.

Paradoxically, when dealing with something that I knew needed attention but was something that I felt was less painful, I would pray and tell God that I realised that I had that certain flaw or failing in my life and that it needed dealing with. Never thinking it was going to be that painful I would enter into the praying feeling that the is would be a walk in the park and when I'd prayed that I wanted it dealt with, regardless of the pain (wink, wink - this isn't going to hurt), it more often than not blinking well  did. I'd find things attached to the perhaps more trivial area that really caused me pain and repentance!

I realised that when I was totally committed and engaged regardless, God honoured that and dealt with it painlessly (well pretty painlessly), but when I gave Him permission thinking it wouldn't hurt (so I looked good and spiritual), He took me at my word.

Think it's a lesson about integrity, genuine attitudes and God really. Go for it - get it. Posture a bit and feel the heat on the way to getting it. Seems you just can't con God!

Hope this makes sense and helps to clarify  the original words.