An Anglican Discord - FIDO

It seems to me that the way forward for the Anglican Communion worldwide is that we all sign a document agreeing not to agree over the key issues but agree to agree over the things that don't really matter. To this end I am founding a new organisation which would, had I had the money,would have been Jerusalem. But, cutting our cloth accordingly, I hope to see those who agree with me presenting a new manifesto for organised disunity in an almost as good location - Hopwas. An ideal location as it has canal (for the launch), a road, two public houses (to enable people to celebrate unity away from each other!) and a telephone box (for the press) .

The new organisation will be called FIDO (Forward In Differing Opinions) a name which will reflect our dogged determination to not be one in the name of unity. We take our stance from the words of the ABC to Synod in 2008:

“Unity in diversity is the cherished Anglican tradition”

Having taken our lead from him, we will of course invite ++Rowan to be nominal head of the organisation (as submissive members of the Anglican communion). Suggestions have been made that we also invite Lord Mandelson, to show submission to the other side (secular, not 'dark') and we will also invite a member of royalty and a queen to provide balance. Other nominations (for self or others) are of course most welcome.

We've only got as far as the first bits, workload being what it is and in recognition that as CofE clergy we're approaching our 'busy time' (i.e. Argostide) so I trust you'll all be patient with us as the steering committee works on the fine details. That said, some initial thoughts which might guide us in our quest:

We need to read the Bible in the light of modern trends and attitudes, to this end we will be commissioning theologians to confirm that there were no typos or mistranslation such that the Creation story might have originally have featured 'Adam and Steve'.

The old standards and beliefs are to be continued with the extension that being honest (telling us your a sinner) will negate any sinful act because you are regarded to have integrity. Not only this, regardless of the relationship the defining issue will be fidelity. Whilst others might consider it wrong, as long as you've been doing it wrong a long time, this will render the act as permissible and obviously right.

All opinions and attitudes will now be deemed correct and so the wearing of vestments and the swinging of burning handbags will be as valid a form of church as horn-rimmed glasses, brown brogues and the (mandatory) open-necked check shirt.

BCP, the Missal, ASB, Common Worship, Flung Geese and the Rupert Bear Prayer Book will all be acceptable and permitted forms of worship.

Plainsong will be seen as preferable to plain speaking and the precepts of St Thumper of Bambi in that, "If we can't say nothing nice, we won't say nothing at all!" will probably mean that Anglicanism will become a worldwide (silent) religion!

Pax Vobis