Met a couple of people today who were living on their own and had neither family nor, apparently, friends which meant that the only contact they had with other people was gained through being in public places. Of course being around people merely meant that they were still effectively isolated but were now isolated in company!
What a sad state of affairs.
What made the situation sadder was that they saw me and recognised me as being a dogcollar (I'd done funerals for friends and family members) and this permissioned them to engage with me.
What was ironic was that the link I provided for them; both knew me and had lost someone they cared about with me as the person doing the service. Talk about wiping hands as one walks from the grave and lonely people!
The reality is that the church (local) touches people through occasional offices and the most common of these is, of course, the funeral service.
Assuming the average funeral attracts an average of forty people then I have come into contact with around 20,000 people which means that (assuming a population of 80,000) that I have come into contact with around twenty percent of the local population (assuming five percent of my funeral contacts travelled from elsewhere).
The bottom line is that funerals open doors and help the church build relationships which potentially can translate into something deeper. I'm beginning to sense a correlation between time in one place ministering and the number of people one might come into contact with through the occasional offices and effective ministry.
I was at a seminar a couple of years back where it was suggested that effective church ministry only began in the seventh or eight year - something that casts a sad light on the three to five year stays that some clergy have in a place - and which makes sense.
Consider for instance a small town (which will remain nameless) with a 15,000 population. One of the statistics I've found for this place (and lost the page relating to!!) indicates that it would be fair to assume around thirty church-related funerals a year in the area.
If the average of forty people attending each funeral holds true as a constant (and I have no idea whether it does or not and that's before we consider constant variable averages!) then eight years in the area would mean that the church had come into contact with over half of the population (would be nearer two-thirds before travelling attendees and I'm assuming more would travel because of the demographics of the place).
Today's encounters have started me thinking - who knows where it will end?
Could be totally off the wall (no change there) but it could also be a path that needs to be looked at and mapped too!
Pax
Time for bed - St Francis' big day tomorrow and so a patronal Eucharist at 09:30 to bless the faithful and unite the lost :-)
2 comments:
Interesting thoughts, Vic. FWIW I agree that three to five yeasr is far too short to achieve much more than "project" type work in a parish - the deep networking does take seven + years to begin to pay off.
Taking funerals is a huge privilege, but the issue with them is that, yes, contact is made with "the church", but it is mostly with the dog-collar unless the church invests time and people into making the follow-up. I sometimes find it difficult to remember all those families for whom I have conducted a funeral, even though they may feel they know me quite well. Some stick in the mind, but others don't. Churches (including clergy) need to develop strategies whereby it doesn't all rely on a single individual.
Absolutely agree and this is one of the places where a pastoral connection with the dogcollar and members of the church itself is essential. Not in some sort of cynical marketing way but in a really effective pastoral connection.
I am sure that there is something in the way we regard and respond to pastoral situations and think that for so many of those that I meet it's merely a PITA rather than a PTL!
Now looking to consider the 383 people per sq km average from the ONS as a basis for considering pastoral structures and organisation and pastoral efficacy.
Hey Ho - wish I has some grey stuff to assist but we use what we've been dealt I guess :-)
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