(Anti) Social networking

Today has been interesting in that it began (as it almost always does) with my doing my daily office and then I found myself faced a friendly, helpful and effective BT telephone technician who had come to resolve the lack of telephonic communication in the Vicar's palace. The problem was that as he sought to resolve the main issue he had to remove the internet from the house and this posed certain challenges in that I usually get the office, tea (and toast) and communications out of the way before the kid's start school as this leaves me a free day to be out and about and engaged in vicaring stuff and this intermission has thrown me totally out of kilter.

One of the biggest areas of fuelling combative engagements between friends, families and casual acquaintance alike is that of the blesséd (and I don't mean that in 'church speak' way) social networking kind. I am finding myself increasingly called on to resolve or otherwise mediate in conflicts that have been fuelled by unguarded comments that fuel smouldering wicks which are then fanned into flame by the flapping of (electronic) tongues.

In Ephesians (4: 26 - 27) we find the wise (and comforting) words:

"Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity."


It's not wrong to be angry (I wish more believers were at times) but the way that we manifest and manage it carries great potential for us to sin. We need to deal with it before it becomes something toxic. The command that we deal with it before the sun goes down and another day beckons is wise and valuable advice indeed.

Anger, even when it is 'righteous anger' (which is rarely righteous) is not always wrong and yet the way we handle it is invariably not only destructive and the means by which increased separation and conflict occurs but is also the mans by which we can fall into sin. Even when we might have initially been a victim rather than perpetrator!

We have three sorts of anger on the menu:

'thumos' - that flash or outburst of anger that comes, explodes and leaves us often than feeling a bit stupid;

'orge'  -  the lingering hurt and resentment that begets a 'get even' mentality and the desire for vengeance and revenge that grows, like a cancer, in our society, and;

'parorgismos' which brings combine the two into a union that just builds and grows to impart a vengeful, bitter hatred that damages target and source and, more often than not, those around the situation.

If we let our anger flash over we may cause additional damage for rather than correct or respond in the right way we often find the words (and means) we choose inflict increased damage and greater separation. What we need to do is deal with the issue before it has a had the opportunity to become something more damaging and divisive; something that honours God and makes true our claim to be 'Christian'.

The 'not letting the sun go down on our anger' is a call for us to get up, get out and get resolving whatever it is that is at the root of our anger before it descends into that parorgismos anger that places everyone in the wrong!

But it is better to try and deal with a wrong (real or perceived) in a balanced and timely manner for in this way all sides of a potential conflict can be brought to a place where resolution is found. Anger can be good but when it is left to create discord and damage both parties then is is sin. Seeking to correct wrongs and right situations that cause division is doing good but that which isn't is sin!

And this is where social notworking (sic) comes in. There has been some happening that has bruised and wounded another person and before you know it, the situation appears as a post. Then friends of the offended person will jump in to offer them sympathy and confirm the fact that 'they are lovely' (including in the conversation how the other person is a bitch or 'always does' whatever the perceived ill is! The person so named enters the fray and their friends then point out how the previously assumed 'good' person is nothing like and before you know it there are many people taking side, pointing out previous situations and engaging in  more of the thumos encounters.

So here's my plea (tea drunk and funeral to be written up so I'll keep it short):

When you have a disagreement, please deal with the person you disagree with:

i. face to face - if possible,

ii. voice to voice - because people don't always read emails and posts with the same meaning you had when you wrote it; and because a message on an answerfone doesn't always come across as it would were you dialoguing.

iii. By written means if you can spell out exactly what you mean in an unambiguous manner.

But

NEVER with a flash of anger that strikes out against the person who has angered you such that it wounds them and those who read it and draws them in to take sides and get down and dirty alongside you.

Peace is the key and balance and a timely (and restorative) response are the way to achieve this. The tongue is a powerful thing indeed but the electronic pen and social networking are indeed mightier than the sword.

Happy Friday