Journal: What next?

There's an odd thing about being a cleric in that you live in a world of expectations unmet or done differently and assumptions that hinder and distract. A couple of weeks back one of the children received a telephone call from someone who huffed and puffed and, to be totally honest, sounded like a bit of a Twit. To her credit, the child who took the call, having been hung up on once they person's rant was over, called them back and handled the call exceedingly well (by the sound of it, better than the caller - but perhaps the motorcycle fumes and living on an island does stuff to you) but the end result is this: Rude and ignorant can be the property of each of us at times regardless!

Having a quiet night I happened, foolishly, to look at my emails and found something that needed a call to discuss, so I stopped the film and bothered someone else, and cleared the matter from my head. I felt awful imposing myself on the person at the other end of the wire and grovelling apologies for the call. Thankfully they were someone who is full on and committed to everything they do and being kindness itself, tolerated my intrusion.

But my day was filled with a number of people who had expectations, demands and denials and that makes it all very tiring - the filler in the sandwich came in the shape of kindly people who, almost apologetically, had needs to be met. There was the fall out from things taken on and undelivered - which met I had now had to take them on and deliver, as well as try to smooth over the bumps left in the road - and the newly hatched needs, some of which were less of a need and more of something else!

But every time the bells go down the cleric, well this cleric, stands to and prepares to engage whatever is before them. Life is always varied, often fun, more often than not more complicated than it needs to be (that's because we work with people I guess) and . . .

Lord, help me to meet the needs of those around me with grace, good humour and patience. To overlook the bad behaviour of others, their ignorance (and I don't mean knowledge), their demands (sometimes unreasonable) and their self-absorbed bits - and yet to never excuse, or permit them to behave badly.

Help me to have the courage to just say 'no' and to draw lines that protect me.
Help me to lead people to the Christ rather than get caught up in the desire in others for me to be Christ for them!
Help me to see real needs and meet them whilst avoiding the wants in others adding to the need in me and causing me real harm.

Lord, we walk to the cross by may routes and the burden on that wood and the the lashes on our back are so often added to by those we seek to serve. Give me the strength to make the journey; give me the grace to bless those who fling insults and wound by their words; give me the strength to give what I should and the courage to deny what I ought to.

Help me, dear Lord, to minister our of my calling and not from the demands of a career!

You have given me life today - fed me - forgiven me - followed me (carrying me in when I stumbled and fell) - enabled me - together, in unity, we have worked to make Your kingdom come, equally yoked and in our continual love affair.

Tomorrow, my Sabbath, may we relax together in that same relationship as we worked today, and when the needs come (and they will I am sure) may we be ready to meet them with love, grace, wisdom and honesty.

Father, forgive them, for even if they know what they are doing, they rarely understand why :-)


This place of reflection is here for me to dialogue internally and gain insight and perspective. It first appeared in this current form for some of those looking at creating their own journal as part of the their journey to discerning vocation. The Morning prayer is there also for that same purpose: to create the discipline of prayer. Dialogue, insights and experience of others concerning this entry is always welcome - all grist to the mill.

40 Acts - Day 13:' Second Fiddle '

For some of us, relinquishing control and sacrificing our own agendas or plans is difficult.

It means that (a) we don't get our own way and (b) we have to trust someone else or put them first.

But practising playing second fiddle sometimes is important and generous: it shows the other person that you recognise their worth.

Love from the centre of who you are; don’t fake it. 

Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. 

Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. 

(Romans 12:10 The Message)

Fifteen years ago my husband and I visited Bangladesh with World Vision to meet our 11-year-old sponsor child in one of the world’s worst slums, on the edge of Dhaka. We were excited to meet her and confident about our role, which was to gather facts for a book that might encourage people to give and thereby improve conditions for some of the world's forgotten.

We loved the fact that to Jesus there were no unimportant people. However exhausted, however pressured by those in authority, he set aside his own needs to concentrate on whoever stood in front of him, showing respect and love for the marginalised, the children, the women and those who had physical problems which literally placed them out of bounds.

His example had been the solid ground on which we had tried to live our lives and perhaps we saw visiting Shanaj and her family as an opportunity to demonstrate this.

We had not anticipated a lesson in what that really means.

I had taken gifts, colourfully wrapped, and we had both imagined handing them over to Shanaj and her brother and sister. Pictured their eyes shining as they excitedly tore off the paper.

It wasn't like that. After politely thanking me they calmly placed the unwrapped parcels behind them, and returned their attention to us.

I panicked. Had I broken some cultural rule? Did they not like the colour of the wrapping paper?

Oh no, our translator explained, they will be wanting more than anything to open their presents, but they have been taught to value the giver more than the gift.

So here we had it. Three children, the poorest of the poor, setting aside their own agenda to show respect and love to us because at that moment they wanted to demonstrate that we were the most important people in their world.

Today's blog was written by Bridget Plass.

Find out more about her and support her chosen charity here.

To see today's challenge in full - Click HERE

CHRISTINGLE: It's that time of year again

Here we are again at the start of the Christingle season (500 glowsticks at the ready this end of the wire) and as is my custom, you will find a powerpoint version of the Christingle Orange to use HERE (This has been updated and is not the same as that found on this blog last year).

Being able to add a projected version of the orange is one of the best things I have taken the time to produce and it is something I use many times over the Advent run-in: No oranges found under the car seat months later (wondered what the smell was!) and no being spiked by cocktail sticks either. Bliss!

As ever, here are the start and end images:

Feel free to share this with anyone you know who needs such a graphic for their Christingle service this Advent and help to support the work of the Children's Society.

THANK YOU

Here's a short clip to show the orange in use:

This movie just shows the movement
the real thing has a stages working

I have taken to using glowsticks (for which each year I am berated for not being traditional) BUT:

i. The lighted Christingle is taken from the church (or other building) the service is held in and arrives home still lit: The Christ Light has been successfully taken and delivered - don't get that with candles!

ii. Having had a woman lose her hair when her grandchild waved their lit Christingle near to the hairspray enriched thatch causing it to 'flash' and disappear in a cloud of awfully smelly smoke, I find this to be a much safer bet thank you very much, and

iii. There's no wax to remove (so no moaning from the wardens and other helpers) and there are no burns or singed clothing or claims to the Ecclesiastical Insurance to be made once the fire brigade and ambulance have left!

But whichever you chose - may you have a blessed run in to Christmas.

Pax

Postscript
Following a few requests I have added a simple Christingle service powerpoint file to the folder. You can find it and the component slides (and, perhaps oddly, all the funeral hymns too!) here


Just added an infant's Christingle service outline which you will also find  here

Church Growth strategies: 'Bringing in the children!'

We are looking to Stanley Hauerwas' for our underlying thought (challenge) as he says that:

'Church growth strategies are the death rattle of a church that has lost its way.'

Continuing to move on we find that today the bus stops at that most challenging of church growth areas: children. It's especially challenging because I find that a number of the people I encounter these days have come to the conclusion that the way to grow the Church is to somehow or other drag the 'next generation' into the church building and then by whatever means are available somehow turn them into Christians -  and there is something true here that begets something, in my opinion, quite awful.

Children have become the Philosopher's stone by which dead and leaden church becomes something golden.

I hear a variety of challenging comments with regard to people's churches and the situation surrounding the average age in them. In fact one place I know has so high an average age that the upper age for Sunday School must now fast approaching thirty! (if only they had anyone that young in the place!) 

Recently whilst in conversation with a bunch of lovely ladies who are members of a church that is looking to recruit a new Vicar. One of them reassured me that all would be well once the new cleric had been appointed (they hadn't actually advertised but I always applaud proactivity). I asked why they held the belief that the new incumbent would lead them into the promised land where numbers grew and the average age was reduced. Another summed it up quite succinctly with these words:

'Our church numbers are falling and there's no children or young people but that will all change once we've got a new Vicar!' 

All of them nodded their agreement for they were convinced that the new cleric, once appointed would arrive (having run past speeding trains and leaping tall buildings on the way) and would 'bring children in to church:'

Seems all they needed was:

I didn't have the heart to burst their balloons and stamp on their dreams and hopes :-(

The problem is that getting children in to Church is important but the problem is that we become so fixated on the issue of children that we lose sight of the scenery that surrounds them. we become so bound up with children as the 'future church' that we forget that they are also, very much, today's Church.

Much of the problem here lies in the fact that children aren't coming because parents aren't bringing them and so the key to 'bringing children in' is to bring in the people who bring children in!

Another part of the problem is that when we do manage to bring children in to church we work hard at stopping them from being engaged and functioning members of the body for rather  than include them in our church services we remove them from them as soon as we can. I wonder how many who read this post are in a church where they lose the children after the first hymn and have them return just before or during the Communion?

We engage in that time honoured travesty of Church that is the 'All-Age' service (or as it's known here : 'All-Age torture'. That ghastly place where we talk down to the children and think we're communicating to everyone present. Worse still are the places where the service has both a 'grown up' sermon and 'something for the children' - two opportunities taken to avoid any meaningful communication with the people groups present!

We need to look at messy Church - but as this has it's own spot I'll merely flag it up here and move on.

The problem is summed up by a colleague who moaned that even though they were working hard at making Church 'relevant, authentic and entertaining' they weren't keeping and of the children and young people who came through the doors.' Of course they weren't because they had to work at being such! The problem is that we need to actually have churches that are relevant, authentic and fun to be in, after all you can try hard and stick a pig in a dress but it's never going to win a beauty prize is it?

So here's the bottom line as I see it:

Stop pretending that your church is 'down with the kids' and stop thinking that we can only minister to the young if we use young people. All this tosh about only have a window of influence and efficacy with those ten years either side of our age is something we need to bin before we even start. Those most influential in my life were tens of years older than me and they were influential because they were truly kind, caring and interested. I wasn't a scalp but a developing friend who would one day, despite our age differences, become a peer (and in some cases their leader).

Stop using children in church as the hope for the Church and realise that it's Jesus, the Christ, who has that role (and label). Stop asking how many young people others have in church (and if you do, stop saying when you hear the answer, 'Oh, aren't you lucky!') and if you feel you really have to ask the question then find out how they came in and how the church relates to them and keeps them - be intelligent, not envious!

We need to realise that the young are smart and can see when you're putting on a show in order to 'win them for Christ' or lower your average age. They value honesty and can see through the faux friendship and the overrated welcome. Integrity and structure are the key factors here I reckons.

Recently I attended a service where there were about seven children in the congregation and the parents, being as bored as their young, were looking around and sighing and the thing progressed. The children were a little less refined and so played games, played up and fidgeted as time progressed. At last we were set free and one of the Wardens turned to me and, assuming the dog collar was a sign of being on the same side I guess, said, 'I hate it when people bring their kids into church, it really spoils the service for others!'

My response was, 'Not to worry, they probably won't come again.' And they Warden smiled and nodded and said, 'I hope not!' Later, whilst chatting to the cleric who had taken the service I looked sympathetically as they told me how they get families in but they rarely came back and moaned about increasing average ages of congregations and falling numbers. 'What we need to do is concentrate on getting children in,' they said, 'They're our only hope!

But the local kids were on the playing fields around the church, I saw them playing rugby and football and being taken out by their otherwise absent parent because it was 'their day for custody'. 

If we want to bring children into church we need to bring parents because they will bring them with them and when they do we need to make a place that's full on fun and full of integrity. A place where the children drag the parents back to rather than vice versa. It's great that grandparents bring their family's young, but that's timestamped and ephemeral - win the young parent who is starting out with the struggle that parenthood presents and be their friend and grow up, and into relationship, with them and their children and realise that Sunday has other challenges and attractions and look for the days and times when Church coming together becomes the main attraction and be it (honestly and openly).

It's not rocket science - it's not even clever! 

Church is the people who meet when they can in a place where they can because they want to meet - or we can tell them it has to be Sunday and our way!

40 Acts - Do the Dirty Work

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV)

Five words guaranteed to change your life this year: ‘Can I help with that?’ I’m the type of person you’ll always find in the kitchen at parties, getting stuck into the washing up, collecting empty glasses or taking out the rubbish. I like helping others but to tell you the truth this is actually my coping mechanism for navigating scary social occasions. As a painfully shy child I found that having something practical to do gave me the courage to start conversations with people I wouldn’t normally speak to. Some of the most interesting people I’ve met have been elbow-deep in a washing-up bowl. In my working life, I travel the world gathering stories about how poverty and injustice affect communities, speaking to individuals and civil society groups who are working for change. I’ve often found that the quickest way to put people at ease is to help out with their chores or be willing to get stuck into some seriously dirty work. This can be a bit of a risky tactic! The learning curve for certain activities can be rather steep (cement mixing),  they certainly won’t be glamorous, and some jobs definitely require a strong stomach (clearing sewage ditches) but when you’re working alongside someone, laughing and joking together as you learn the ropes, you have the time and space to ask questions and share stories from your lives. So I ask you to think about doing things for others, not purely as acts of service but as an opportunity to learn more about our world and the people we share it with.  Be generous with your time and your comfort zone. Look for opportunities to volunteer or help out in communities that are different from your own, and do not be afraid to get some grime and life experience under your nails. Stephanie Atkins

For today's web page - Click HERE

Presenting to God that which has cost me nothing.

I met someone this week who asked me about the free tea, coffee and cake sessions we put on in the church building on Monday and Thursday morning. They were confused by the word 'free' because this didn't make sense to them unless of course it meant payment was in kind rather than coins and they were assuming that the kind looked like them coming to our church.

"No, you don't have to come to our church to come in and have a cup of tea or coffee and some biscuits or cake," I said, "We do it because Jesus came to serve and we, wanting to be like Him, are merely doing the same." Their response was, "But I sometimes go to nnnnnn church, so doesn't that mean I have to pay?" Back came the standard response, "No, it's free, we do it because it provide people with the potential for community and makes a lonely existence less lonely. Regardless of whether you come to this church or not, there is no charge!"

The conversation moved on to another well worn track regarding the joint difficulty people have in receiving stuff for nothing and the Church has in providing the stuff without sticking out its begging bowl. The former being known as 'Grace' and the latter servanthood and ministry - very important concepts that we need to engender and exhibit within our church congregations and deliver to all we meet.

Far too often we worry about making ends meet for the services we provide and attempt to address the shortfall by asking those who avail themselves of them to 'pay up'. I Recently took part in an occasional office (baptism, wedding or funeral) where, at the conclusion of the service, those leaving the building faced something that was, to be quite brutal, only a few degrees short of a mugging! To cap it all, walking into the vestry after the service, I found the two 'muggers' counting their spoil and, as they did, they complained abut the paucity of cash on the plate.

I tried to explain how the money to pay for the services we offer (generally) came from the members of that church. I say 'generally" because some time back I provided something visually appealing and value-added  on the understanding that the group we were doing the service for would pay for the means of enhancing it and all I can say is that I'm glad I never held my breath - so there are exceptions to the rule (aren't there always?). The response to this was amazing, seems some people in Church can get energised and passionate after all - just a pity it isn't about the Gospel!

The reason we (the Church) exists is to reconcile us (that's you and me and them who aren't us)  and God by means of the Cross of Jesus, the Christ. We seek to live as signposts to the love of God (again as shown through Christ) and the all-embracing and all-encompassing acceptance that is the Gospel (of love and Grace). This is a freewill act of offering ourselves as servants, sacrificially at times (just like Jesus and His giving of Himself), to change the lives of those around us and to demonstrate (words can be used, but perhaps a little more sparingly (YAWN) than is usual) the reality of finding faith in, and peace through, Jesus.

So here's a ticklist for those who lead and are led and a challenge for those who do nothing (but that's not you I'm sure):

1. Are we meeting the needs of those around us (we do know what they need don't we?)?

2. Are we exciting people around us to get involved, opening our doors and getting out there (leaving the doors open for those who come (and they will - not immediately - but they will)?

3. Are we doing stuff because it's who we are rather than as a bait to entice people into the trap?

4. Are we doing whatever it is we are doing whilst looking to others to pay? If we are then perhaps one of the many readings (in this case it's 2 Sam 24) on giving to God that which we own (and have therefore paid for) needs some consideration:

'That day Gad came to David and said to him, “Go up and build an altar to the LORD on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.” So David went up to do what the LORD had commanded him. When Araunah saw the king and his men coming toward him, he came and bowed before the king with his face to the ground. “Why have you come, my lord the king?” 

Araunah asked. David replied, “I have come to buy your threshing floor and to build an altar to the LORD there, so that he will stop the plague.” 
“Take it, my lord the king, and use it as you wish,” Araunah said to David. “Here are oxen for the burnt offering, and you can use the threshing boards and ox yokes for wood to build a fire on the altar. I will give it all to you, Your Majesty, and may the LORD your God accept your sacrifice.” 

But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the LORD my God that have cost me nothing.” So David paid him fifty pieces of silver for the threshing floor and the oxen. David built an altar there to the LORD and sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings. And the LORD answered his prayer for the land, and the plague on Israel was stopped.'

Simples innit?

Funeral Service - The usual please

Had a most interesting conversation with someone asking for advice for a funeral of a dearly departed in that whilst I'm not 'doing' the service, they wanted some advice about what they should ask for.

The reason for this was that they'd been to a funeral I'd done and wanted the service they were commissioning to be 'as good' but were worried because, having 'suffered' the local cleric twice before, they wanted to give them my 'usual' service to do.

This opened for me a raft of questions and a few positional bits, for there is no such thing as a 'usual' service when it comes to Church and even less so when dealing with funerals, and it is this that I think I am most sorely pressed and troubled!

Every time I meet with a family to arrange a funeral I am aware that there are many option before them and I seek, as much as possible, to get them to make the service theirs rather than have the elements imposed on them. This means that they select the music for entry and exit (although having left the crem' to a Gangsta Rap song - for an 80+ year old! - I am a little more wary these days) and they make their choices over the hymns (which will often hearken back to morning assembly at school) and the Bible reading (another issue as many are happy to 'leave it to you').

The funeral service is the most important of all the services we can do with a loved one for it is the last opportunity the mourners have to be physically present in the same place as their loved one and so it has to be the best experience they can have (can it ever be good I ask myself). So many people I meet tell me of nightmares where given names rather than familiars and facts and the like were incorrect. Times when the music was wrong (Love divine, all loves excelling - which tune? English or Welsh*) or, as happened last week the wrong track is selected and played.

The reality is that the funeral service is full of humans and so the potential for something going wrong increases with the number of people involved. After all there's the Undertaker's staff, the organist, the Minister and those who might contribute in the form of the eulogy (which is about the dead person, not the person talking - something some might bear in mind when offering!).

But error and omission apart the reality is that good preparation; sound note taking and the like mean that the service is as secure as anything can be.

I met someone who, after discussing a service for a former Royal Marine told me that they were about to do an 'ordinary' service at the crem' recently. No such thing - never met an 'ordinary' person yet - there's always something to commend or mark them out - many years of marriage, evacuee, Bevin Boy, work life, orphaned, provided for the family . . . and so much more. Each element conspires to make those we serve at the Crem' and by the graveside extremely special people.

So I answered the questions and made suggestions; explained how and why I do things in my services and I pray that my perspective led to something special - This week as I do my two funerals I will be looking to fulfil the greatest part of any minister's calling, that of being a neighbour when some one is in need of one.

dona eis requiem and 'comforting those who mourn' - two phrases that combine to make the high calling we have special and real.

Pax

* To name but two settings!

What makes church valid? post the first

An interesting discussion on the question 'what makes a church valid' soon stretched into what makes a service valid too.

After all, if you put on an evening service and you get six or seven people turn up for it, is this an effective use of the clergy's time?

Does the fact that those who come would not have come to a church service had the evening service not been on offer suddenly make it valid?

What about the same service with only four turning up, where does the line get drawn and how long is it before we perhaps consider the example from the Old Testament (Gen 18: 16 - 33) and find ourselves pleading for our services in the same way that Abraham pleaded before the LORD for the inhabitants of Sodom:

When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. Then the Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?  Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know. The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord.

Then Abraham approached him and said: 
“Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing - to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”
The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”
“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”

Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”
He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.”

Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?”
He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”

Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?”
He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”

Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”
He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”

When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.

So can we take from this passage some guidance? Do we decide that 'valid' church has to have more than ten in a service?

Do we look at fifty (midi church) as the number that renders a congregation, fellowship or church as valid?

Do we take one hundred (large church) as the critical mass (sorry not knocking high church here, honest!) and the number that confers validity, efficacy and sustainability?

I know of a person for whom, in my view, the existence of a church service is made valid because they cannot do morning services and because there is an evening service provided they can remain part of Church and come alongside others to worship. The fellowship, the provision and the ability to come before the Lord in a church setting all conspire to make this a valid service.

But what of those buildings which see but a handful for their evensongs, should we decide that they are 'no longer to be tolerated' after all, if we stop these services we can stay at home and watch 'Downturn Alley' and the like. To quote a colleague, 'They don't want to come out and I'm happy to let them!"

Are numbers the deciding factor?

Are we merely becoming lazy or downhearted when we resign ourselves to the fact that once of a Sunday (and in the morning) is enough?

Church - How do you like yours (and why and what and how and who and . . . )

How many do we need in a place before we can save it and those within I wonder?

Charles Simeon - A man to celebrate

And a man to emulate too!

This morning the Church of England remembers, and gives thanks for, the life and ministry of   Charles Simeon. A man whose ministry centred in and around Cambridge and its university and yet his ministry brought many benefits to the Church across the globe with the ministries he brought into being and the societies and organisations that trace their roots to him and the legacy of his ministry.

He was a Evangelical at a time when being such was not popular (not like now at all then!) and a man whose expository preaching style has become perhaps the gold standard for those of us who seek to emulate him.

Simeon reached the student population of Cambridge with the Gospel and brought not just attendance (the desire of so many) but discipleship (the professed desire)  and this discipleship saw many take up holy orders and put off careers in the world to travel the globe and preach the Gospel. It is said that it was Simeon who influenced Wilberforce regarding slavery and Christian living and caused Henry Martyn to take up his missionary endeavours. I am always chastened by the account he gave of Cambridge and the fact that in some three years he had not encountered a single believer - and yet he came to faith and lived true to it until he died in 1836.

I first became aware of Simeon by sitting near the stained glass window with his likeness in the chapel at Ridley and as I became more informed about him realised that this was a man whose footsteps would surely lead me to find Christ ahead of him on the road to the cross and to making Him known.

Would that those of us in church leadership would indeed 'inspire our people in service and mission':

Eternal God,
who raised up Charles Simeon
to preach the good news of Jesus Christ
and inspire your people in service and mission:
grant that we with all your Church may worship the Saviour,
turn in sorrow from our sins and walk in the way of holiness;
through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Modern Church Service Parody

Absolutely hilarious - just wish I didn't recognise it so easily!

Is this really any better than the BCP, choirs, anthems and stuff that so many of my colleagues are trying top claim is 'the real thing'?

Enjoy

Remembrance - Never in vain

Every year around Remembrancetide the same old sad people trot out their, "Why not tell people their sons died for nothing," cobblers. They witter on about how awful bomber command were and take pleasure in the fact that they have never received recognition for the fact they took to the air and put their lives on the line in pursuit of peace (and in obedience to orders).

Well, here we are 11/11/11 and at 11:00 I will be gathered with many others to pay our respects to all who have served in wars and conflicts throughout the world and will be thanking those who have died in the pursuit of peace, the same peace that lets some drone on in the way I have outlined above, and yes, even to burn poppies (but don't be surprised is someone takes offence!). The reality is that when one nation seeks to subsume another into its nation, or remove a people group, or act against others in ways that are wrong and where the art of politics fails, it is to the men and women of our armed forces that we look for a remedy.

War is never glorious - and that is not the message of Armistice Day or Remembrance Sunday - but the fact that scared people go and do heroic things, overcome fear to make a stand and do what is right (in a right way), then these people deserve to be paid their due respect and thanked.

In the words of the Kohima epitaph:

For our tomorrow, they gave their today"

So let us pay homage to them and live well in that truth!

Pax

Francis of Assisi

Poor old St Francis. I have an overwhelming desire to paint a statue of St Francis with bird droppings on his shoulders and a goat munching at his brown habit. He's always seen with birds on his shoulders, sheep at his feet and other animals nuzzling and generally milling around him and because of this so many people miss the bloke for who and what he was.

Francis (AKA Giovanni Francesco di Bernardone) is more than this. A rich kid who touched a leper, bothered a bishop during his mealtime, gave away his clothes and walked home naked, gave up a rich and excessive lifestyle for a life of poverty and service. This bloke has it all and is for us a rich and demanding example should we but examine his life.

So why not look past 'All creatures of our God and King' and the 'must have' rendition of 'Make me a channel . . ' and take some pointers from the man and his life:

Dare to touch those who are outcast (this means get involved - don't go and poke the first Big Issue seller you see!).

Dare to challenge the possessions that possess and control you (we all have them).

Dare to take God at face value and live as He calls us.

Give thanks for a man whose life inspires and instructs should we but allow it.

Happy Frankie Day

Dinner Graces

I am in the most privileged position of being invited to a number of dinners, albeit to do 'the grace', and as a result have to endure some of the most awful graces before the meal commences. It seems to me that all too often we are subjected to the most awful doggerel and smug self-satisfied tosh masquerading as 'the grace'.

The last few I have been present at were attempts at being funny coupled with the words of two or three humour-filled graces, which were made into one. This was followed by the person giving the grace looking around (ooh, aren't I clever, witting or stupid?) for laughter, applause or some other sign of approval.

The problem is that being assigned 'the grace' is not an opportunity for the speaker to shine, but rather a privilege, and quite solemn duty, in that they are leading those gathered in communication with God (as He is perceived or otherwise)!

The last grace I had to endure consisted of an introduction to the evening (which the president had done at the greeting), followed by a cute rhyming ditty in honour of the evening, the speaker, and the evening followed by what I recognised as two humorous graces lumped together to make us all laugh even more. Having completed the task, the person 'praying' (I use the word advisedly) looked around for signs of approval, before sitting down. This wasn't 'Grace' - it was someone being the cabaret!

Thing to remember when doing 'the grace':

1. This is not the opportunity to demonstrate your skills in the creation of rhyming doggerel,

2. It is not an opportunity to poke fun at colleagues or make 'in' comments about whatever it is that you and your mates find funny in your own little world outside of the dinner,

3. It is not an opportunity or perform some hideous kowtowing or other ingratiating homage to the guest of honour,

4. It is not an open mike session in the 'puerile prune' stand-up comedy club.

What 'the grace' is:

1. It is an opportunity for the person saying 'Grace' to lead those present into a place of thanks and reflection for the fare that is being placed before them,

2. It is an opportunity to give thanks for the fellowship about to be had, and for those with whom it will be had,

3. It is an opportunity, especially in a military or veterans setting, to remember those who are serving: A place to remember those who have served and to give thanks for service and commitment, and

4. At the right time, and in the right place, it is an opportunity to give people the space to remember those who would once have been at table with you but are no longer here. It's a space for reflection - not eulogies. Do this wrong and you can destroy the whole evening!!

The grace can be delivered with humour and also be topical, but it in not the light entertainment before the meal, that is the place of the Jester, not the person saying grace.


Some graces are awful and need shooting (along with those who so enjoy reciting them?).

 An example of this probably being:
  "May we not be like porridge, cold and stodgy, but like Cornflakes, crisp and ready to serve! "

And of course there's that wonderful grace so loved by Air Force types:
 "God of goodness, bless our food, keep us in a pleasant mood.
   Bless the chef and all who serve us, and from indigestion, Lord, preserve us. Amen."

Or perhaps the classics (used often in so many places:) ):
"For well-filled plate and brimming cup, and freedom from the washing up.
  We thank you, Lord. Amen."

"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful!"

There are a few good sources of graces. It is helpful to remember that in a service setting, collects and other prayers are also useful and fitting, to this end I have listed below a few sources of graces, collects and prayers such that you should never need to descend into the "For what we are about to receive fall back. "

Air Force Chaplain's Graces

Army Collects and other prayers

Naval Graces

I'd be more than happy to receive your best, and worst, examples of a dinner grace as those for whom this post is aimed could do with all the help they can get. I'm always happy to help people who need a grace and can't find one - just add a comment or email me (St Francis' link will lead you to me).

I've been asked to add a couple of less 'full on graces' for Christmas meals, so here they are:

Love brought Jesus to the stable and love brings us around this table,
As we share Christmas meal, may each and everyone here feel,
The Christmas presence that makes this, and God's blessing, ours today. Amen.

We're here to eat and we're not messing as we share this Christmas blessing,
So let's all drink and be merry not  worrying about our expanding bellies
For that is ours another day, so God bless and spare us all we pray! Amen.

Enjoy the privilege - take the role seriously - bon appetit!


Pax