Monday 3 December 2012

Left footing the bill?

I rather like this because it often seems that when one is dragged out to eat, for some reason or other, it is always the same poor person who is left to tot up the bill at the end of the meal.

At one meal I went to (some time back) some bright spark worked out that, nnn, should cover the cost and as quick as you like some of those present paid that and left whilst others, claiming that they'd had but the main course paid for that and also left. As the calculations started it was obvious that those who had legged had managed to do so without paying for drinks or (perhaps conveniently forgotten) sweets and starters!

The upshot was that some poor person paid sixty pounds over the top to cover (or to use the correct term 'Pardon') their debts.

Sadly this has been something I have seen (or been) on many occasions and so I find this little piece of doggerel both fitting and fun:

When going out I often find
A circumstance that blows my mind
The way that others munch and drink
Yet when cometh the bill
Well what d'ya think?

Leaving the smallest sum they can,
The leave the bill to just one man.
The hapless fool;
Who could it be?
You've probably guessed, 
It's always me!

But now a promise I have made,
And Spongers you can be dismayed
For when the meal,
And drink, is done;
I'll pay my share
And then I'll run!

And you're the one who's left to meet,
The shortfall on the bill,
How sweet,
And to my joy and your dismay,
I have gone
And it's you who pay!

3 comments:

UKViewer said...

Been there, been the victim. One bitten, thrice shy.

It's quite a mean thing to do and I would worry about any relationship with someone who behaved like that.

We go out five or six times a year with friends etc, but so far, no one has let us down. We divide bills equally by those attending and each couple pays the same share.

Off course, all are Army or Ex-Army or service connected friends, and perhaps we've known each other in difficult times and places to provide a basis for mutual trust and respect, which has survived in most cases more than 25 years.

Nik the Vic said...

The real sadness is that those who do it know that they have done it and just think that they have won when in fact they have just lost something bigger than a few measly pound notes.

We know a couple like that as the last time they did this was the last time they did it - we haven't been out with them since.

Hope it is ok to post the ode elsewhere.

Nik

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

Feel free to use it - it's mine so there's no problems over copyright :-)