On the days that the workmen actually did appear they slowly began to enact what was to become a multi-disciplined version of Flanders and Swann's ' - 'The Gasman Cometh'.
During this there were tales of walls that gave tingles up the arm (turned out that there was a bare wire in the new, wet, plaster) and items of work that were done out of sync' so that the plastering was done before the fitting of whatever needed fitting so that when it was fitted the whole thing needed plastering again- and so on.
At last, all of the work was complete and our dear heroine was allowed to take possession of her home and settle back into normality. Well, normal is you don't mind working in a kitchen where the light flashes and flickers like a scene from Will Hay's 'Ghost Train'. Not only did she have a disco kitchen but there was also the added benefit of a light switch that 'fizzed and buzzed'.
When she told me this I, replete with screwdriver, went over to check on the situation - and this is what I found when I got the switch off the wall, which was itself no mean feat as they'd painted over it, and it was well stuck (with additional help from what appeared to be double-sided tape!). Actually the tape and paint was doing as great job as one of the screws wasn't actually in the box's screw fixing.
And so - having tried not to knacker the paint job I levered the switch from the wall and here is what I found:
The more observant will notice the little screw at the bottom of the picture and the little wire that should have been in the switch is, as a result, unfixed. This was the 'line' and the cause of the fizzing and buzzing (arcing). So, a minute later the screw was replaced and the wire inserted (and fixed tightly) and it was 'job done' (remember the isolate the lights from the consumer unit [fuse box] before you start playing by the way!)
Another one of those 'things they don't teach you at theological college' moments!
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Along with:
creative furniture moving,
performing an efficient taxi service,
duties as steeplejack,
pest control,
publisher,
children's entertainer...
and the list continues!
The bit they never told me was dealing with log jams in the church loo
I know they said that much of church work was going through the motions but I hadn't realized
Clearing out the bl**dy gutters!
I hate this job and all I get from the PCC is - 'well the last vicar used to do it'
Trouble is that I am one of the youngest in the blessed place.
While I never made it to theological college to be taught anything, I had to dismantle a double glazed unit yesterday to correct a leak from the bottom of it, coming from outside.
I did the obvious, went to the internet, typed repairing double glazing into google and came up with a pdf which described exactly what to do.
So, I dismantled the window, doing everything as described. Applied appropriate glazers sealant and reassembled it in reverse order to dismantling and came up against the problem of one piece of the beading that wouldn't just click home like the other three.
Despite bending and inserting it in a variety of ways, it wouldn't click into the slot designed for it and defied all of my efforts.
After an hour of trying, and about three cups of tea and shame on me, a cigarette to calm my frustration I eventually fixed it in, nearly flush and secure, but it's seems to be laughing at me as it still is a tiny iota out of place, which I cannot correct.
I remember the glaziers who fitted it just clicked and it went in - there must be some unique magical art known only to glaziers to effect this final act - I just wish that I paid more attention when they were here - Doh!!
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