Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Dear Santa - this year I'd like (2)

The Worshipper

Hot on the heels of yesterday's 'must have' accessory we have another for the 'wish list'. This time it's something for the budding worship leader / preacher:

This is the thing every worship leader and preacher has dreamt of for years!

At last the desire for world domination that is the hallmark of many a Bassist's genetic structure can be remedied at the tap of a toe! No longer will that most excellent bass line dominate and overwhelm. The keyboard player is tamed and the singers are singing in tune and in time (now that is most definitely a first for some I have heard) and just when you though you had all you needed in one box there's the 'Worshipper' section.

No more egging the people on to worship for at the touch of a button up go hands around the venue (available separately)  - tap the button again and down they go - and you can control the speed and the 'wave' too - so at last our misunderstood 'wave offerings' can be tamed and made ours.

And for those frustrated Anglicans who would love just once to have someone shout 'Amen' or issue a heartfelt 'Hallelujah' (and I don't mean those that are heard when the preacher says, 'And in conclusion') - the last feature of this amazing device inserts both utterances whenever and wherever you want them. Just think, you can preach up a storm and all those dreams of filled venues and overflowing collection baskets can at last, in part, come true.

No need to go to New Harvest next year - you can do it all in the splendour of your own Gothic building!

The greatest addition to 'real worship' since the Wesley brothers 'Greatest Hits' album (available on the 'Music for Pleasure' label - WES1788).

So better ask Santa quickly - sure to be in great demand.


JonG said...

Wonderful. But by forwarding it, am I guilty of inciting one or two friends to the sin of covetousness?

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

Aaah, sin the gift that just keeps on taking!

Now you have presented me with a dichotomy because I am duty bound to say don't do it and yet the concept of the pedals is such fun.

Oh dear :-)