Can't make it to church? 20 September 2015

Here we are again at another Sunday - not many left before Remembrancetide is with us - The readings we have are a mixed bunch and offer us some real challenges as we deal with a lament from the prophet Jeremiah: people are plotting to kill him so I guess that's a fair reason to be lamenting isn't it? Sadly though God's response to it isn't dealt with today in the reading. Let's see about that as we progress shall we?

Jeremiah uses the image of a 'gentle lamb led to the slaughter' - the same image we find of Jesus in Isaiah 53: 'He (Jesus) was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth.'  - for himself. People are plotting not just to kill him but to obliterate his name forever - the parallels here with the Shoah (the holocaust) where this was the intention and the reality with the Jewish people (for there are places where none are remembered and it is as if they were never to have existed because of the actions of the Nazi regime).

One of the differences we have between us and Jeremiah is that we having the hope of resurrection know that even death will not remove erase us having been, but this was not the case for Jeremiah and so he faces the fear of being as if he never was: An awful prospect indeed! And so Jeremiah calls upon, no pleads with God, to take action and herein lies something of great value and worth for us:

When faced with those who seek to act against us in the most aggressive of ways we can imagine the key is to come before God and ask Him to stand for us and act against the wicked: Not start dishing the kicks or the vitriol or malice or whatever.

And this is a lesson I need to learn because when faced with provocation it is easy for me to descend into my cave and bitterly lash out - damaging myself (and probably those unfortunate enough to come near too) and compounding the wickedness of others in my own soul and life as well. The next time you are acted against why not 'commit your cause' to God and let Him act for you: You and I might just find this to be enabling and effective!!

So we stand firm, commit our cause to God and work at living in love and peace with those around us, even those who plot against us. The 1 Corinthians passage (which we are doing where I am) gives us but one take away meal today as we reach the end of our brief dip into it and the letter ends: 

What ever you do: Do it with love. Stand firm because we know Who, and where, hope is!

One of the things that touches me greatly is to be found in Psalm 139 which says that even before we we formed - before our body was assembles and created - God knew us. He saw us and knew us and so when we worry about God remembering us, or those now departed this life whom we love, we need to remember that in fact the does't need to remember us for He has never forgotten us in the first place. So next time you pray perhaps you should add a, 'Thank you for never forgetting me,' rather than a, 'Please remember me.'

The Gospel contain, for me, an image that I find compelling as Jesus takes a child and instructs the disciples. There are two things here for us:

i. The first must be the last: How we get that wrong as we struggle and plot for power, and

ii. Welcoming children, a simple act of looking to the very least in the community (for women, children and slaves were 'non persona', they were possessions rather than people with rights. We don't do well at welcoming children into church (and yet all eagerly desire them because we're sold out on the 'growing young' mantra) and we do perhaps as badly with the 'non persona' of our communities.

The message is plain: Don't plot and struggle to be THE person in your church but strive to be the person who facilitates and cares and acts rightly. Too many tell me of the factions and power struggles in their church and all I can ever say is; STOP IT!

The message is clear: Welcome those who will disrupt our services and make things happen differently because of their age or understanding. Church only works when the least in the community are cared for and yet, too often, we like the idea of children (and others) in or church but despise the reality. But that's not your church I'm sure!

The alternative collect for today is spot on and ticks the boxes nicely for us as we come to pray:

Lord of creation, whose glory is around and within us: open our eyes to your wonders, that we may serve you with reverence and know your peace at our lives’ end,through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Jeremiah 11.18-20

Because the Lord revealed their plot to me, I knew it, for at that time he showed me what they were doing. I had been like a gentle lamb led to the slaughter; I did not realise that they had plotted against me, saying, “Let us destroy the tree and its fruit; let us cut him off from the land of the living, that his name be remembered no more.” But you, Lord Almighty, who judge righteously and test the heart and mind, let me see your vengeance on them, for to you I have committed my cause..

1 Corinthians 16.13-20

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. You know that the household of Stephanas were the first converts in Achaia, and they have devoted themselves to the service of the Lord’s people. I urge you, brothers and sisters, to submit to such people and to everyone who joins in the work and labours at it.  I was glad when Stephanas, Fortunatus and Achaicus arrived, because they have supplied what was lacking from you. For they refreshed my spirit and yours also. Such men deserve recognition.

The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house. All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand.  If anyone does not love the Lord, let that person be cursed! Come, Lord! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you. My love to all of you in Christ Jesus. Amen

Mark 9.30-37

They left that place and passed through Galilee. Jesus did not want anyone to know where they were, because he was teaching his disciples. He said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise. But they did not understand what he meant and were afraid to ask him about it. 

They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” He took a little child whom he placed among them. “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.

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Post Communion Prayer
Almighty God, you have taught us through your Son that love is the fulfilling of the law: grant that we may love you with our whole heart and our neighbours as ourselves; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Church: The nightclub theory

Speaking to one of my soldiers this week I was impressed by his assessment of Church; their erudite and succinct summing up of the whole shebang went like this*:

"If the Church was a nightclub it would be the empty one in town with just a few losers in it!"

So I asked them to expand and they told me that 'the' place to be in any town was:

+ The one that was consistent in terms of good music and 'sound' DJs. They continued by saying,

+ The place where all the smart people went and where people went to be seen with them, and

+ The place where, because of the thing above, you wanted to be seen and known as being a part of.

"Your problem Padre is that you don't attract the smart people, you attract the losers, and they don't look very appealing do they? No disrespect!"

And there is no disrespect or offence taken by the words because - damn it - They are probably right!

Another soldier chipped in and told me of their (recent) experience at a baptism whereby the place was cold and unappealing - even though it was a pretty building and the temperature, and sun, were high - and the people were. Well actually I cant repeat the words that followed but suffice to say they weren't the best adverts for the faith I've come across!!!

So I asked them what they wanted and they said:



Somewhere friendly



People who engaged and didn't make them (the visitors) feel like they were being looked down on them and make them feel like . . .   (I'm sure you'll think of a word)





A place where they felt the people around actually believed something (and this is the interesting bit) 'Even when they knew it might not be popular'/



So here's a little food for thought. I'm going back into the bar before the week ends and I hope by then I have some responses to offer (knowing me I'm sure I will ;-)  )

Happy Wednesday - How's Church where you are?

* And I know this is correct because I asked them to repeat it so I could write it down.

Weddings - A consumer fest?

Discussing the number of weddings that some of the clergy have, and the associated stresses, I am beginning to think that I might need to be happy that I occupy (as a colleague with a splendid church building once called it) a 'tiddly little place!' This, combined with the fact that (as another colleague put it) 'It's not pretty!' all adds up to us having very few - in fact almost none (I've done one wedding in the place since I started here`!).

It's true that the building we occupy is not large (we have but the one room) but that merely means that everything we have is used to the full. There are no rooms reserved for 'best' here - what we have is versatile and pretty well utilised (eucharist - room change - tea. coffee and lunch - room changes again and .....) all the time as we do services, social stuff, community stuff, kid's club, support groups, stuff for then older folk, crafts, courses and more besides in the one room (we have no choice).

Add to the one room aspect of the building the fact that it's not a 'proper' church building and you will understand why we don't get people asking to get married here. See for yourself:

'Home'

In fact a few years back, one of our near neighbours decided to get married and they did so in the wonderful building that houses the parish church. Another couple just up the road from us decided to get married in the pretty little village church building round the corner and this is the pattern for those who decide on a church wedding (a small number in a growing market in that we have some 30% of the wedding business these days). They want the pretty buildings for their big day and that's fair enough, after all they want a good backdrop for the photo's and stuff.

My 'problem' comes in the fact that all too often people will tell me that I should do the wedding in their church if they come from my patch because of the 'pastoral engagement' and it is here that I will find that my real struggle begins.

After all, it's a fair (empirically sound) assumption that those who marry in St Blogspots will also have their sprogs baptised in the same place, as they assume it's 'their church' - an assumption that is not supported by attendance or any semblance of relationship with the church (meaning the people) or the clergy but is based purely upon it having been the venue for a wedding. In fact they may even come to the same building when death comes a knocking on that same assumption.

And this is good - but it means that those who have the attractive, wedding rich church buildings have to realise that they also have the privilege (and duty) of engaging and building relationships with the couple, introducing them to Jesus, the Christ, and continuing that relationship (as best they may) once the wedding day has passed. They, having become 'in loco parentis' to the emerging family have a duty to pastor and pray for them. They are happy to collect the cash and do the deed, but there is much, much, much* more to it than that.

If we provide a building without discharging our duty then as much as this is wrong, that is your choice, but having provided the venue - you need to also provide the pastoral and spiritual input that goes with it in the before, during and after phases.

I have spoken to a few couples (seven of them to be accurate) with the result that 100% of the population 'enjoyed' the day but were not minded to be engaged with Church again on a regular basis. The reasons for this were that they regarded what they had was not spiritual but all about the venue and that they 'weren't religious' but wanted a nicer building than ............ (names omitted to avoid venue wars!). They didn't want 'church' and even though. 'The service was nice and the Vicar made us laugh,' it wasn't what they wanted after the event. 'But it was a nice day!'

Having been brought up with the understanding that the occasional offices (AKA: hatch, match and dispatch) were a source of engagement and potential growth. My experience is that this is not the case (we don't do many baptisms or funerals outside of those with whom we have relationships or are perhaps members) but find that we grow quite consistently through real engagement and the making of friendships.

I've written this to clarify some of the issues that came up in a conversation with a colleague who thought that, as they had a popular building, the local clergy should come and take the services for those 'from their patch'. At first I wasn't sure about it, but having given it some time (and thought) I have to say, 'Nah, crack on with it!' (or perhaps that should be, 'No thanks old bean, you carry on doing them in your building - you book them, you cook them!'). Your wanting to advertise and attract people to your buildings for weddings is a great thing to be doing - and if you are successful at it (and enjoy the wedding fayres and the conjugal/matrimonial consumer fests) - crack on and reap the blessings that are to be found within it.

As for me, I'll stick to funerals - something I find much more rewarding pastorally and more effective evangelistically!

Happy Daze

*sorry rampant Police Academy gene issues this morning

Have I told you lately that I love ...

My Job?

The last few days have crushed together to make a week that has been like many others in terms of being full of variety and amazingly wonderful people and providing me with fun, challenges, fun, heartbreak, excitement and fun!

I've seen marriages that have lasted around the same time I've been on earth ended through the death of one of them and been privileged to help make sense of it all. I've seen people trapped and perhaps made to disappear because of mental health issues, been involved in people whose circumstances scare me to death and been blessed by the fact that, generally speaking, people are nice.

The odd thing is that more people want to be loved, taken an interest in and engaged  than don't and the role I have allows me to do that and call it work - now I have to ask you, Can you get anything cooler than that?'

This week I have done Harvest services in schools and been challenged to explain what Hallowe'en is in an assembly (an ad hoc Hallowe'en session - wasn't planned) and realised that there's only sixty-something days to Christmas and, as I write, only seven days to half-term. Yes, even the children wish their lives away looking towards special dates and living through the rest to get to them.

I seen vocations become uncovered, abilities accepted and people blessed - and still it comes under the label of work!

The variety and excitement open to us as minister's only comes about if you - the church members, the bereaved, the lost, the hurting, the needy, the suffering, the general public, the passer-by and the blinking nuisances come and engage with us. So if you're not, then you're making true the misconception that I, as a dogcollar, 'only work for an hour on a Sunday'.

So here's an invitation from all the clergy (for I'm sure I speak for them on this):

Come and make yourself known to us - turn up at church, stop us in the street, call us on the telephone, come and see us (and discover how little we hide in the vicarage) and be a blessing (and blessed too).

Go Ahead Make my Day

(and make me pray!)

Just what is being a Cleric about?

There are so many interesting conversations to be had regarding what a 'Vicar' really is and does at the moment.

We have some who consider themselves in places merely to 'keep the lights on' and this raises some good stuff regarding 'mission vs maintenance' and whether 'lights on' is enough (or valid).

There is the issue of Self Supporting Ministers (the ministers previously known as 'Non Stipendiary'*) and what they offer and how they are regarded by others and, perhaps more importantly, by self!

We have those who are 'locally ordained' and how they, their churches and the establishment see them.

As the numbers of stipendiary clergy diminish as the old adage of 'cutting one's coat according to our cloth' is applies; and looking increasingly towards living out the 'can't pay - can't have' mantra, the reality is that the locally-ordained are viewed (by many) as those who will replace the departing stipendiaries at ground level. Something that leads us to also consider the return of some form of Minister model

In broaching these discussions, people have pointed to the demise of the old 'one parson - one parish' and the fact that unless some (especially 'rural' church?) 'grow their own' then they are doomed to closure. But then again if we put clergy into a building without a strategy for growth are we being effective for the Kingdom or merely putting off the dreadful day of reckoning  and leaving it to be 'someone else's' problem?

Another part of the problem is the fact that many of the locally-ordained are perhaps a little older than the twenty-four yr old priest who made the press today and they move with retirement and get ill and, as one person put it, simply 'die' (don't we all?) and where full-time posts are replaced with others the church's find themselves bereft and without a shepherd.

And as for 'no cost' options - there is the supervision of the locally ordained (three years) and then the Training Incumbent roles and then being a 'line manager' after that (for ministry and management are indeed two different elements!). Sounds like quite a bit of emotional, spiritual, physical, practical and temporal cost to me!

The Local Ordination process is much akin to eating spaghetti, for once embarked upon, the churches need to keep sucking to ensure that there is more in the chain and to prevent the day when the can (spaghetti only comes in cans doesn't it?) yields its last!

All of the above appear to regard the minister as the person who 'staffs' the church building rather than shepherds the sheep and facilitates, trains, releases and supports. As a friend put it (accurate as ever) the clergyperson is the 'religious service provider'.

So here we are - much to discuss and reflect upon (I hope) for everyone, for Church is about all-member, collegial, Kingdom ministry - not the few.

Pax

Excuse me can we have your old TV?

It was with these words that the chap driving the scrap metal van greeted me. Not an unreasonable question you might think and in the right setting, of course it isn't; after all, we all have a living to make, don't we??

Then again, when the question comes in the middle of the sermon  I have to say that perhaps it is!

But this was my experience on Sunday morning as we progressed through the early service, something that caused the sermon to stop for a couple of minutes as we sorted things out. We were soon continuing on our merry ways; them with a TV and a fan and us with the service.

I often feel that I'd like more engagement during the service, the children do it so well but the adults (in some places especially) struggle with this but I really think the sermon spot should be a time and place of interchange as we make our mutual journey of worship and praise.

I love it when someone asks for a clarification or comes back with something that adds, challenges and sometimes entertains. The times when people ask how things are pronounced or struggle with timeframes and the places.

I remember many years back hearing an nearing retirement minister tell the congregation that the sermon was a place where, 'They listened to what he had to say and kept quiet!' But that's not how Jesus taught was it? That's not the way Rabbis teach their disciples (then or now) - and the interaction between them bordered on riot at times.

Perhaps I've had a wake up call regarding my sermons - perhaps I should have more broken TVs in the porch (they were there to raise money for an upcoming India trip for our eldest child)? Perhaps I need to buy another pack of notebooks and pens (and get people to bring their Bibles too!) and encourage note-taking again?

Perhaps I need to ask more questions rather than merely try to enlighten and inform people?

Whadyathink?

Church - so what's that all about then?

The opening words in a really fun encounter which, at times, felt more like I was playing the Mel Smith Character in one of those most excellent 'Alas Smith and Jones' programmes. Putting something into the bin I noticed one of the locals (I didn't recognise) having a butchers at the noticeboard. and me being me I popped over to say good morning and to engage with them.

So there I am (replete in Norwegian shirt rather than dog-collar variety and therefore incognito) asking them if they're looking for anything in particular. They give me an odd look and so I explain that I'm the 'Vicar' and their opening gambit is: 'Church, so what that all about then?' 

"We're just a bunch of people who believe that Jesus died for us on the cross so that we can be in relationship with God and because of that, just like Jesus came to serve others, we try to serve those in our community too."

They look at me a bit quizzical and then ask, 'So how much do you charge for the tea and coffee and stuff then?' To which I respond, 'We don't charge anything - our Monday and Thursday mornings are free.'

'Free?' says they, 'What do you mean free?'

"We don't charge anything, tea, coffee, biscuits and cake are all free,' I say, beginning to doubt my own powers of communication, 'Nothing at all - no cost!'

'So if you're a member, it's all free then?' they ask.

'It's all free even if you're not a member - it's there for anyone in the community (or elsewhere) who happens to be passing and fancies dropping in for a cup of tea or coffee and a biscuit or cake . . we are just there to add something to the community; a place for people to come to if they fancy a change of scenery and some different people to talk with.'

'What about the lunch, is that free?' they ask. So I explain that it's not actually free but costs £1.50 to help to defray our costs.  'So that's not free then is it?' they asked again and continue with, 'So what do you do it for? Do you talk to people about God and stuff and get them to join when they come in then,' they ask.

My response to this is, 'No, we talk about the local news, what's on the television and anything else that crops us. We aren't looking to get people to come in and join us, we're looking for people to come in so we can offer them a cup of tea (or coffee) and a chance to relax with others from the community because there's nothing else, and nowhere else, to go round here.'

'So, what's that all about then?' they ask and just as I think I'm going to get stuck in a loop they see the bus coming down the hill and leg it off to the stop to catch it.

Indeed - 'Church, what is it all about then?'

Have I ever mentioned that I love this Vicar stuff?

Motivating our children: a recollection

Thought you might like this recollection of an encounter with a Local Education Authority's 'Careers Advice' person form the sixties:

"The interview took place in one of the classrooms with the 'Career's man' sitting behind the desk smoking his pipe (the reason the boys gave him the nickname, 'Maigret'). After having been told to sit, I was asked what I wanted to do. My answer to this was that I wanted to be an electrical engineer.

The Career's man looked at my school reports for a few minutes and then, not even looking at me, told me he knew of a local builder who was looking for someone to work with him and that this, having 'read' my reports was the 'career' I was obviously best suited to. When I protested he shot me down by telling me that my maths wasn't good enough to be and that if I persisted in 'demanding' a job in that area the careers service would refuse to assist me with such folly.

Suffice to say that my response saw me in the Deputy headmaster's study getting the cane and having to write a letter of apology for my ingratitude and rudeness!

A few weeks later the process was revisited and as I walked in to the classroom my career's advisor (laughing) greeted me with, "Aha, the electrical engineer.  Come to your senses yet boy?'

I responded that indeed I had and, with a bit of a smirk, explained that I had already had three interviews and practical assessments and was about to go for my final interviews for apprenticeships in various areas of science and technology. I thanked him for his 'most enlightening and motivational help and wished him farewell.' As I stood up he told me to sit as he needed to enter the details of the companies and interview dates for his records.

As I made my exit I turned and said, 'Why not put down the name of the building firm and save us both time?'   I think the sight of his red face will live with me for ever.

When I compared notes with some of the other boys I found that they had fared no better than I at the first meeting with the man (who later became head of the County Careers Service) and a couple of stories I can remember went like this:

Wanted to be: Aeronautical Engineer
Suggestion: General airport work
Ended Up: Fully certified Engines and Airframes engineer (living in the US)


Wanted to be: Footballer
Suggestion: Woodsman or forestry worker
Ended Up: After footballing apprenticeship went on to become PE Teacher.


The account of the career advice given then, and now, and the battle with the Hounslow school all conspire to challenge me to challenge others. Motivating our children with regard to their future employment is an area I have never thought of as being something Church should be engaged with but if we don't see past community history and demographics, if we don't see past low-attainment family histories to encourage the next generations to fulfil their potential, who will? IMD is a pointer to the areas that need input not a death knell!

Pax