Preaching - a Rake's Progress

He walked in the room
full of foreboding and gloom
He knew he was doomed from the start
then the lecture began
and we, to a man, tried
to take preaching
The skill
To our hearts

Write it down - that's the key
Well, it don't work for me
'cos I stand there and read them instead
I stand there confused
They sit there bemused
It's not reading you know
So on with the show
Then I look up and find hat they've walked.

Put it onto flashcards - an idea that's cool
until you drop them, and
On picking them up
Read the cards out of order

And the sermon gets weird 

And the points, they get lost

(As I found to my cost)

Not long before you're tied to a rail
that's bound for the border.

So I just told them the facts
truth they could keep
But when I looked up
the church was asleep

So I tickled their ears
told them stuff that brought cheers
that white was black
and black was white
and whatever they did
it would all be alright
for heaven was theirs
it's not sin
it's not wrong
God just wanted them happy
that was the truth all along
and the church stood and clapped
and many came back

But deep down I knew I was wrong.