Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Twenty-Five Christian Chat-Up Lines

Having seen these in and around the internet I thought I needed to share them with the wider world. So here they are are, twenty-five of the very best (or should that be worst) Christian chat-up lines:

1.  "I was reading the book of Numbers last night and then I realised, I don’t have yours."
2.  "Hey, I’m Will. God’s will." (Tip: Your name should actually be Will)
3.  "You put the “stud” in bible study."
4. "Now I know why Solomon had seven hundred wives… He never met you!"
5.  "I didn’t know angels flew this low."
6. "I’m no Joseph, maybe you can help me interpreting the dreams I’ve been having about you?"
7. "Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?"
8. "Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for."
9. "How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"
10. "I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight."
11.  "Is this the transfiguration? because you are glowing."
12. "Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead."
13. "Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me."
14. "Let me sell you an indulgence because it’s a sin to look as good as you do."
15. "Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.”
16. "Is it a sin that you stole my heart?"
17. "Want to practice speaking in tongues with me?"
18. "What’s your name and number so I can add you to my “prayer” list?"
19. "I just want you to know, I’m praying for you… No, I’m praying 'FOR' you."
20. "Here’s my number… Call me if you need prayer."
21. "I’m usually not very prophetic, but I can see us together."
22. "You're amazing Grace - How would you like to save a wretch like me?"
(Tip: Her name should really be Grace!)
23. "You know the Bible tells us to greet one another with a holy kiss - You don't get holier than the gift of tongues!"
24. "Are you O.K. my Angel? You weren't hurt when you fell down from heaven."
25. "You can stop praying, I'm here!"

And some additions to bring it up to forty:

26. "I'd happily let you be the thorn in my side."

27.  "Obviously you've never had lamb's blood smeared on you because I simply cannot pass over you."

28. "The Bible tells us to give drink to the thirsty and food to the hungry. As a good Christian I think I should buy you dinner."

29. "You're someone who makes me want to be a better Christian."

30. "Great Bible case."

31. "I used to believe in natural theology until I met you but you've made me believe in divine revelation."

32. "How do you feel about being part of my Purpose Driven Life?"

33. "My parents are hone, Would you like to come back for a coffee?"

34. "I'd love to go out on Wednesday but I run the children's work - I just love children, don't you?"

35. "I'd part the Red Sea for you."

36. "Didn't I see you at the 11:00?

37. "I get the feeling that God is putting us together."

38. "We're like loaves and fishes - together we might just make something miraculous happen!"

39. "Would you like to come over and watch 'Left Behind'?

40. "I'd buy you a coffee but I've just given my last bit of money to a beggar, how about a walk?"
Thanks to revivallifestyle.com for another good post (and thechurchsofa.co.uk  (and Underground Pewster too) for posting many of them too.

Who says Christians don't have a sense of humour or fun?

Happy Wednesday

2 comments:

Louise said...

Haha - 21 and 25 made me laugh ...

The Underground Pewster said...

LOL

These just in from the comments at one of your links:

26. “I’d happily let you be the thorn in my side.”
27. “Obviously you’ve never had lamb’s blood smeared on you, because I simply cannot pass over you.”