The names Jesus never had

A chance conversation with a local political type, someone I'd assumed who little knowledge of Jesus (other than perhaps as an expletive), enlightened me as to the many names of Jesus. Here's a quick and dirty (five minutes) tongue in cheek review of the names I was given:

Jesus was the first Communist
And there was me thinking that in the modern (Western) form this honour belonged to Karl Marx and as some utopian way of life the honour was laid at the feet of Thomas More (what is also a Saint - so we are at least looking at a Christian). Of course there were communities that existed in ways that later became the idylls of the would be Communist. Jesus couldn't have been a Communist because he was in favour of a theocracy - a kingdom where rule was obvious rather than the flat rule of the proletariat (where some would be much more equal than others) and where all were treated equal and were truly equal by it!

No - don't think this is a bona fide name for Jesus at all.

Jesus was a Socialist
Great that this was dropped in to the conversation because although they didn't know it, their first attempt at naming Jesus fell easily. So what about the second name?

The socialist label often leads us to Act 2.42 where the believers were united and living in their own homes (not communes) and paying their own way and ensuring that others were able to do the same should they find themselves in need. Of course the believers were following Biblical precepts but I don't think this makes Jesus the first socialist either. If you want to lay this at the feet of the divine then I guess you'd have to credit it as coming from the Old Testament for this is where it all began.

And the community in Acts being post-Ascension means that surely it should be the Holy Spirit who qualifies for the title (if indeed Acts 2 is the qualification) and this, being proclaimed by Jesus, and written as part of God, the Father's, dealing with people - it might be better to say that the Trinity was the first Socialist and leave them to go figure the Trinity (after which the virgin birth needs a look and consideration too)

Jesus was a political not a religious leader
Now we were motoring - five minutes into the conversation and the mercury was dropping and this appeared. I asked what they meant and got the response, 'Jesus was interested in people and wanted to do the best for those around Him and so worked like we do in the (name omitted) party. If Jesus was alive today He'd be a member of our party because we know what needs to be done just like he did!'

I smiled as they continued to appraise me of the way that Jesus took on the wasteful authorities and the immigration problems (yeah, I know - this person thought the Roman Empire had 'flooded Israel with foreign labour' because of the pax romana!) and poor taxation.

Don't think I can add to what they said without losing my sanctification - but regardless, I have to say 'Nah!'.

Jesus was a feminist
It is true that Jesus' attitudes to people and the outworking of His teaching in the lifestyle and thinking that we call 'Christian' did indeed confer upon those who hitherto had been 'non persona' the status of personhood. Slaves were set free through the Gospel and women (and children) were direct beneficiaries of this as time went on.

That Jesus changed attitudes (albeit after His ascension) is without question but this was not feminism but a desire to see ALL people treated equally and given the respect and equal status that all should possess (So he was a socialist/communist I hear some mutter under their breath!!!).

The result was beneficial for women but a feminist He certain wasn't - sorry.

So here we are - four names and, as I see it, none of them fit. There are areas of coalescence in the dogma that others have created but Christian they ain't and Jesus doesn't win any of the titles attributed by my worthy political friend.

The interesting thing (for me at least) has to be the way that this person tried to make Jesus in his own image and create someone who had the same views and political mandate as them in some bizarre hope that this would confer some moral or spiritual rectitude upon them. Perhaps they thought they'd win over the Christians they met because they'd see the common areas between Jesus and the politician before them and whilst not proclaiming 'My Lord and my God!' would perhaps vote for them as the "Christian' thing to do.

Of course seeing them in a church congregation would do that much betterer now - wouldn't it?