When good people get caught up in wrong behaviour

I don't know where you live but there are a number of issues which appear to be drawing rather nice people into places where they are becoming polarised and because of this embroiled in conversations which leave them looking like they approve of wrong things or think wrongly - And this is not a nice place to find oneself residing!

It's a trap that Christians, and more especially those Christians who are called into ministry, can find themselves caught up in. What makes matters worse is the fact that often they dig the hole they fall into; and the foot in their mouth is usually theirs too!

This is what I am seeing with the issue of Ched Evans, a professional footballer who was convicted of rape and sentenced to five years. I am finding people who are stating many things (as facts). Three of the most common things I have heard (in face-to-face conversations and in the media) in support of the chap thus far have been:

1. That the man has served his sentence,

2. That the man is awaiting the outcome of an appeal, and

3. That had he been a plumber or carpenter he would have been allowed to find work without the opposition he has to him taking up employment as a footballer.

'Served his sentence'
Well he's done his time in prison and is completing the second half (30 months) of the sentence out in the community on licence until the five years have passed. There is nothing remarkable here - this is normal practice and neither negates or rewards the man.

'If he'd been a plumber or carpenter'
The he would of course be free to take up employment in his chosen work area. Of course there would be the proviso* that he couldn't actually be engaged in any work  (paid, unpaid or voluntary) where he could have access (directly or indirectly) with anyone under the age of 18. He is not able to become a cab driver or children's entertainer or any one of a number of other potentially 'difficult' roles either.

The reality is that the man in question was a footballer and so the additional issue of 'role model' has been introduced. An interview this afternoon basically said that he needed to find a job where he could use his skills but not in the public arena. The reality is that the only skills he appears to possess are kicking a ball and so the only arena he has for that is public - a real 'Catch 22' situation!

'Awaiting the outcome of an appeal'
Well, as I understand it, he isn't!

He has on two occasions applied for an appeal hearing but these have both been dismissed because there were no grounds (wrong process, new evidence, etc.). What we have is a man who was convicted and found guilty and the courts are confident that justice was done. This means that he is guilty of rape and that's it.

What he is waiting for is for his case to be reviewed by the Criminal Cases Review Commission (CCRC). This is being done at the request of Evans and his legal team but the chances of them saying that there is a case for an appeal being heard is on a par with Tamworth making it to the FA Cup final at Wembley! It is possible but highly improbably (sorry to disillusion all the Lamb's fans out there!)!

Ched Evans is not awaiting the outcome of an appeal - he is a convicted rapist and therefore needs to suck it in and man up and find another occupation (or country where he might be able to ply his trade without the restrictions and opposition he is facing here).

Now at the other end of the pendulum's swing there are people who are making statements against Evans, some of these appear  concerned less with justice and more with some form of retribution or (dare I say it) revenge!

The three main thrusts here appear to be:

1. The man needs to be made an example of, after all he has never 'owned up',

2. The man needs to be made to pay and to act as a warning to others,

3. He deserves everything he gets!

'Should be made an example of'
Well actually he shouldn't be made an example of, he should undergo the due process of law and then, having served his sentence, be rehabilitated. This is one of the areas where I find people generally do pretty badly these days because we don't generally desire justice, we just want revenge and to 'make people pay'.

The problem is that what we should be looking for is 'Justice and mercy' as the prophet Micah tells us - and that this is really only found when we act in 'humility' (there but for the grace of God goes any one of us). This is a really tough call made even tougher by the attitudes around us!

'A 'warning' to others'
As much as I have understand the sentiments behind this as I listened to to those who have suffered such awfulness themselves preach this stance, I have to say that it is education (on all sides) and the development of mutual respect (have I mentioned how shocked I was to find boobs in the Sun recently? I was under the impression that page three and the wobbly bits pages had gone. Can't express how surprised I was at the sight!).

Warning to others rarely are a warning. It seems to me that what they turn out to be is an example of 'unlucky' and rather than act as a warning only seek to define who the enemy really are. I don't think 'warnings' have ever done much to the rank and file - other than fire them up and get them against whatever it is that you consider to be right.

'Deserving everything he gets'
Perhaps it's the business I'm in but working for a man who went to a cross to ensure that we didn't get what we deserved I guess I might be on a bit of a loser here. You see my view is that Mr. Evans has indeed got what he deserved in a court of law and that this is how we deal with things in a civilised society.

The problem is that what the expression really appears to mean for many who utter is that he deserves more than was prescribed by law and that this is an extremely vocal support of him getting perhaps more than he deserves.

Now a female friend I shared this thought with turned around and agreed with me but then, after a moment's thought, said, 'But there will be many who will want more than that which the law imposes who will disagree.' And this is is surely the rub!

This is an issue that has caused such polarisation. Such vitriol and so many irrational pronouncements from both extremes and this is sad and wrong.

Sad for us as a nation.

Sad for us because it speaks of injustice and revenge where justice and rehabilitation should be found.

Wrong because the man should most definitely not become the hero that he appears to be in some people's eyes and yet should not become the demonised talisman that others have made him either.

He is a foolish man who acted wrongly in the eyes of the law and that should be enough for us. Now we have to work out how he can move forward and be rehabilitated and, most of all, ensure that he never repeats his wrong doings again and look at how we can bring healing to the many who have had awful memories revisited because of the media coverage (can I say excesses?) relating to this!

It is so easy for us to sound as if we condone or dismiss the experiences and pain of others. It is all too easy to sound as if we are offering excuses or ignoring the pain that wrong behaviour of others has brought and in so doing cause more hurt.

This is an area that will not go away overnight - but it is an area that needs to be discussed, dialogued with and the right path through the swamp found lest all perish!

ps. in case you haven't clocked it yet: the good people are those who can be found polarised at either extreme of this discussion!

*Probation Circular 29/2007 Post Release Enforcement – Licence Conditions provides useful information about the wording of additional licence conditions and may be of assistance when formulating prohibitions for other court orders.

Proposed prohibitions should be necessary, proportionate, specific and enforceable. They should result from an analysis of the circumstances of the individual case and include advice and information from other agencies. Legal advice should be sought on the precise wording of particular prohibitions. Examples of prohibitions on the offender, depending on the nature of the civil order applied for but particularly relevant to SOPOs and RSHOs, include the following:

• Not to seek work either paid, unpaid or voluntary where they may have access, directly or indirectly to anyone under the age of 18;
  
• Not to have contact with any past victims, until they reach the age of 18;
  
• Not to frequent any educational establishment, including nursery or pre-school groups where persons under the age of 18 may be present;
  
• Not to enter any premises where a person under the age of 18 is currently staying;
  
• Not to engage in private-hire taxi work;
  
• Not to obtain employment as an escort, or otherwise engage in escort services;
  
• Not to enter particular areas as defined by maps or postcodes;

NOT PROTECTIVELY MARKED © ACPO, NPIA 2010 201

Guidance on Protecting the Public: Managing Sexual Offenders and Violent Offenders, Second Edition, Version 2

7: The Police Role in Offender Management

• Not to seek the company of, or be in the presence of, any person they know to be an RSO or subject to an order under the SOA;
  
• Not to possess camera or video footage, stills or photographs of any child under the age of 18;
  
• Not to film or take photographs with any image-capturing device of any child under the age of 18;
  
• Not to meet, communicate with or engage the services of prostitutes or any other sex industry worker;
  
• Not to contact, intentionally associate with or befriend any child or any child of a particular age group (eg, those under the age of 18);
  
• Not to work in a particular profession (eg, children’s entertainer);
  
• Not to take part in sporting activities that involve close contact with children;
  
• Not to live in a household with children under 18 years of age;
  
• Restrictions on movement (eg, not frequenting areas where prostitutes operate);
  
• Restrictions on associations (eg, drug users, convicted people, sexual offenders);
  
• Requirement to disclose information about past offending to potential employers or others (eg, partners with children). 
  
  
  

UK Shoplifting (and need for Foodbanks) growing exponentially

Shoplifting has gone up in the UK by 7% and the stuff being lifted is food. The reason for this is the fact that according to experts, people are finding their finances squeezed.

On Radio Four earlier today a Mum said she went shoplifting for food because even though she has used Foodbanks, the stuff they gave her was not healthy and so she, from the desire to feed her kids healthy food, went shoplifting. Now she acknowledged that this was wrong - but felt she had no choice.

This news item brings a couple of issues to the fore:

More and more people are finding it hard to live and the potential for rises in interest rates some time soon will see mortgages and other rate-related rise and this will exacerbate the situation. More people will have less to pay out on food, especially as the real value of income decreases each year any,way. There is already a rise in loan sharks and the spectre of interest rate rises will only feed this.

So many of those who support Foodbanks appear to go for volume rather than quality (and I know I'm probably wrong in this) but I always encourage those who decide to donate to go for middle of the road rather than cheaper stuff - my thinking being that I'd rather see five pounds worth of quality, low salt, low sugar, low additive foodstuff (say six tins) than twelve tins of foodstuffs that will affect the health of the recipients. Our local Foodbank is happy to receive fresh vegetables (a good thing with Harvest drawing near once again) and this is a good thing.

There is an immense need for Christians:
To support (and if there isn't one, to establish) Credit Unions;
To work together with Foodbanks;
To engage with groups like Christians Against Poverty (CAP)
To speak up for the marginalised and those in poverty and other needs

Soapbox back in cupboard

The 'the rising tide'

I have a most interesting conversation with another cleric at a funeral this morning. Interesting, surprising and just a little shocking and sad-making in fact!
Interesting because what I heard was something I'd suspected but not the way they'd put it.
Surprising because they were female and yet saw the recent synod decisions as negative.
Shocking because, well you don't expect that sort of thing on a Monday (do you?).
Sad-making because it seems we are looking at people with an agenda here - and it doesn't seem to have the Bible included (well, not the majority of it anyway)!

Then, to make it more interesting still I return and now (almost 16:00 and time for a brew) find myself challenged by the image below:

This image is something produced by Mark Regnerus (University of Texas, Austin) as he seeks to answer the question, "What exactly do pro-same-sex-marriage Christians think about sex and relationships in general?"  (click here) So let's put all this in the mix and see whether the unfolding conspiracy theory holds water or is just the ramblings of a mad woman and a sociologist and a gullible (below-average) Vicar who is perhaps more than a little convinced by it all!

My colleague (whose name I never did get) told me that she'd realised that the tide was rising, something that had been confirmed by a friend who'd told her that, "Having accepted women bishops the only remaining barrier to see toppled was same-sex!" 

One of the problems for those who consider themselves to hold with an orthodox (or some would say 'traditional') faith has been the situation whereby when the issue of homosexuality and the Church first came up it seems (to me anyway) that just as a line was about to be drawn in the sand some clever type realised that this would potentially cost the CofE money. And so the first fudge was born and we had the situation whereby homosexuality was definitely 'out' on the altar side of the rail and sort of, well you know, but not totally wrong so keep on coming to church and giving!

All that was needed was a straight (no pun intended) 'Yes' or 'No' and the matter would have been sorted one way or the other but it wasn't! Then women get ordained and this marks a step towards a lessening of opinion regarding the dread subject of homosexuality because women are apparently less inclined to be against it! Empirically I did have a female friend who told me that being part of a marginalised group (women) she could never vote against another (homosexuals) and so if this is consistent I guess the view holds some water.

Now I'm told by some that women in the house of bishops will add weight towards accepting homosexuality (struggle with 'same sex sex/marriage 'sss/ssm' as it all seems a little - off!) and that this now sets the signals to green for a move to remove the final obstacle for being a 'totally accepting and inclusive' Church. Seems to me that some regard the words  'permissive' and 'inclusive' to be as interchangeable as 'sex' and 'gender' - which makes them wrong on a couple of counts!

The scores on the doors from Prof Regnerus all indicate that those who support same-sex marriage are much more likely to be in favour of a lot of stuff that those Christians who aren't that keen on. Don't think that's a shock. Then again neither is it any surprise that non-Christian homosexuals are supportive of lots of stuff that Christians (of all complexions) aren't - even if they support same-sex marriage or are homosexual themselves. What I like about the man is that he's not screaming about slippery slopes or increasing trends - changing attitudes so same-sex marriage are not necessarily the cause of changes elsewhere. But each is discrete and also influenced, and influential, in the processing and adoption of attitudes.

So we should not demonise either - because that's merely a slippery slope in the other direction, innit?

Neither should we use our straightness, gayness or confusedness as a weapon because to do this reduces us to being nothing more than a pawn rather than the focus of God's amazing love - dunnit?

Seems to me that there's few surprises for me today - just confirmation that that which the Bible appears to consider right behaviour sure ain't popular among those who like to please themselves. No shock there either I guess because the whole point of sin is that it's a popular pastime.

The key is surely to find a via media and to be collaborative rather than combative and yet still maintain that which honours God, keeps the Christian living on the right track and is truly open and inclusive without compromising or becoming permissive - especially not in the mistaken belief that permissive means converts (unless we're looking to make them twice as fit for hell as we are ourselves that is).

What a very funny day indeed!

So many confused people out there

How odd it is that the same people who tell me that this is not a Christian country are the same people who tell me that this will be an Islamic nation within ten years and they are happy with it and then in the same breath continue to say that they want a 'non-religious' nation as they don't have a belief!

How odd it is that, when things fall apart and life has sunk to its lowest point, come a knocking on the church door to find acceptance, forgiveness and support. The Church is full of hypocrites and run for the benefit of a God who condemns and prevents people from living the way they want and yet, when the fruit of living for ourselves falls from the tree it's not the world - it's not our families - who offers support for the previously endorsed actions!

How odd it is that when people come up to me with a list of the so many reasons God cannot exist I can find people whose lives and the fruits of their engagement with God tell me something very different.

A few years back when the Labour Party were in power Prime Minister Tony Blair's 'king of spin', Alastair Campbell, made the statement, 'We don't do God'. But in fact Blair (and many other MPs) did indeed do God and God features large in Westminster. He might not be mentioned but He is there and the Judeo-Christian heritage of our nation is there for all to see.

A few years back one of the then MPs told me that their greatest fear was that one day the nation would eschew its Christian heritage and would become an epicurean, self-serving, culture. A society that would endorse postpartum abortion, euthanasia and 'assisted suicide' making our green and pleasant land into what they described as Gehenna!

Interestingly, a few days back, some people put their names on a piece of paper stating how they wanted a non-Christian society. Unsurprisingly, many of those who signed want to live in the very same world my MP friend didn't!

I exist to be a signpost to a place of safety - a place of acceptance and support and care and so much more.

Yes, there are attitudes and lifestyles that I consider wrong (but they don't remove the relationship or the fact that I'm there for you).

Yes, there are mindsets and beliefs that I don't think are compatible with that which the Bible calls us to make our own and assign to God (but I won't throw you out of the church).

Yes, there are standards I expect you to keep, and promote, and things I expect you to do (after all, I expect the same - and more - from me) but I know that you'll not always manage to make it happen too!

Church - a place where brains are engaged - dialogue engaged - facts are not ignored

Pity the world can't make the same claims innit?

Happy St George's Day

Blue Sky Thinking - Terminal?

Now, having worked with those who have been diagnosed as having a 'terminal' illness, I have to say that I like this thought:

A message for ALL Believers

Saw this in another context and just thought I needed to make it applicable to those of us who claim to have a faith. I write this especially in the light of the stresses that aberrative and distressing mental health issues bring to sufferers, family and the wider community.

Please pray for those with mental health issues - touch out to them - open your arms to them - listen - care - support - PRAY

Clerical integrity and clocking off

Strange how some people complain about taking their work home with them when in my line of business what I do is do my work from home - perhaps this is why when, at eleven minutes into a new day I'm lying here thinking about someone who is lost.

Lost - an odd word when you're not at sea
Or in a jungle
Or a desert
In a wilderness or a crowded in place

The sort of lost you aren't talking about
When you're not talking in Christian terms
Or referring to moral compasses

When there's no game in sight 
Everything is where it is supposed to be (not like that missing watch!)

Except that one person you have somehow misplaced.
Worse still - who seems to have managed to have lost themselves
And you know you are the one to stand in the gap
A gap that no longer exists.

Because you can't have a gap without a person to make the gap appear.

And so I pray and wait and hope and pray(have I mentioned prayer?) and hope that somewhere the focus of my prayer is safe and surrounded by God''s love and tempered by a mind that works, and seeks safe harbour rather than the brainsqualls and tempests of mental illness.

May God touch and His Church act with integrity, love and sure engagement and gentle wisdom all those who are broken, confused and confounded.

May all who others have cruelly labelled as 'mad' find a harbour in the sanity of Christ's people.

Please pray for those with mental illness.

Pax

So what's Christmas about?

This was the question that greeted me yesterday as I, and the person who asked it, chatted about their first Christmas without a loved one.

They told me of Christmas past - one word ('past'), many iterations:

Christmas as a child - full of excitement and promise;of stockings, nuts, an orange, toys and family. A home filled with siblings, cousins and wider family members.

Christmas as a lover - those heady days when all that was needed, wanted, had was that other person. Lost in each other - two surrounded by many.

Christmas as a parent - creeping around and making wishes real. The joy of seeing joy in the little lives you've brought into the world.

Christmas when the nest is flown - struggles as the pressures and challenges of being an 'in law' come home and Christmas is compressed into a visit and a meal. The 'two of us' again - but now the passion's gone and .... ?

Christmas as the grandparent - fleeting glimpses of days gone by. The realisation that 'rad' isn't the thing that keeps you warm and that the best route is a gift voucher lest you give a gift that's as welcome Asa heat wave at a snowman convention.

Christmas alone - the grandchildren are married, the kids are divorced and the love of your life has gone. Memories and pain, anger and loss. Confused and crying out for touch - a hand, a word a hope.

So what would your answer be?

Jesus?

But what does this mean?

Something real - something of meaning - a life full of hope and energy?

Something trite - hollow words - empty world ?

The story of a girl without a room, without a husband and a baby without a cradle. Born in a strange town amidst strange accents surrounded by smelly strangers (Shepherds) and (eventually) some geezers from the East with strange gifts.

OR

The ultimate plan - planned and enacted - delivered to your door - constructed in your heart - made real in your heart - the gateway to eternity?

OR ......


The choice - the opportunity is yours

Why 'Pastoral Care' can be a really bad idea ...

Yesterday I found this thoughtful and provocative piece from the Vicar of All Soul's, Whittington (Richard Franks) on 'Why “Pastoral Care” can be a really bad idea…'

'Seriously. Who wants to be an item on someone’s “to do” list?
It’s ok if it’s a professional carer - a doctor, home-help, therapist or nurse… perhaps even, on occasion, a vicar.
But in church life - and in life in general - that’s not something we long for when the road is difficult and we need some companionship and a helping hand along the way.
People don’t need ‘Pastoral Care’ - we need friends.
Church can’t magic up friends, enforce them through structures or events, or organise their care through rotas or paid staff.
We can - and must - provide a community where friendships can flourish and where we learn what true friendship (“going the extra mile”, “laying down our lives”) looks like.
Don’t let’s over-professionalise or over-rota that which should be relational and natural.'

I like what Richard has written for a number of reasons and yet I am aware of a small area of unease embedded somewhere within it too for other reasons. Let me attempt to explain:

Having lived for some considerable time in the past where my family was merely another of the cases on the case load of a social worker, the one thing I longed for was the putting aside of the ersatz friendship that our many encounters came wrapped in. The assignment of us to a 'care professional' was, or should have been in my view, an invitation to a developing relationship. The same is true of those in a Church setting when it comes to a 'Pastoral Care' scenario.

Having been put on a 'To do' list means that (I hope) a visit will be forthcoming and working on the assumption that strangers are merely friends I haven't yet met, this is the first step in the growing of a relationship. Even when they become friends, the visits to friends homes, or meeting in the local Costa (or our home?), still needs to be diarised (even if they occur outside of work time). Being put on 'a list' isn't any more of a problem than being placed on a diary as an entry. The attitude towards, and the development of the encounters, is the important thing.

If someone is a member of our church then hopefully they will find themselves passing from 'person on a pew' through to 'acquaintance' and, I hope, pass into that state which we call 'friend' and finally pass into being 'family'.

Where I am everyone who comes has friends and we are family - but like all families we have members of it who have closer relationships with some than others. And like families, those who are closer care for any who have a need as a natural expression of family. I, being on the 'friend - meaning acquaintance - level, visit as friend and yet realise this, and even visits from closer friends, still attracts the label 'Pastoral Care'.

Richard is spot on when he says that people want a friend when trouble comes a visiting and he makes a valid point when he says that the church (meaning all the members - not just the cleric) should be the source of relationship and support. This cannot, well should not, be regimented or restricted to rotas, care teams and the like - but we should remember that every first 'pastoral care' visit is an invitation to friendship (and I have many of these visits arise where there is no relationship before the first encounter).

Pastoral care is merely the label we affix to the care and concern that should naturally occur in Church - the 'to do' list adds weight to their presence in a sometimes heavy diary load and the rota prompts us to visit when other things would conspire to put our desires (and we do want to visit don't we?) onto the back burner until we realise they've never been met!

So I commend Richard's blog entry for it is a provocative and rightly-fixed piece. It asks the questions and, perhaps ironically, sets the parameters and voices the oft unspoken elements of the what and how Church as family should be. It is an invitation to dialogue that should not be passed by.

We wear our poppies with pride

Wearing our poppies with pride
standing around the cenotaphs
memorials
stained glass windows
statuary
monuments and shrines

Old men with berets
medals
tear-stained cheeks
soup-stained ties
standing to attention

as the bugle plays

as noise is stilled

waiting for reveille
to herald the start of a new day
to welcome in the resurrection of the dead
the dead we honour as we stand
and remember

not glorifying war
but remembering those in glory
remembering conflicts past and present
and longing for a future peace
to become our reality today

And then
we put our poppies away
and leave our remembering of them
those who have gone
for another year
and for another day

Not so
For today
and every day
we will remember them
the fallen
the broken
the bereaved

We will remember them!

(c) Vic VDB 2013

Church as a place: of Safety

It seems to me that one of the most important things that being Church brings is safety and this comes about in a number of forms:

Safety to be honest about our problems because we know:

• We will be listened to

• We will be given time

• We will be helped to further identify and resolve those problems

• We will find respect, and

• We will not be condemned or ridiculed

Now whilst I'm sure many will read this and say, "Yeah, we all know that already,' I am certain that a good many others will find at least one of the points above has been missing from their experience of church somewhere and at sometime: And of course we all have, because Church (and church in the local sense) is made up of flawed and imperfect individuals.

Of late I have encountered a number of people, near and far, who have engaged me in conversation and during it has voiced their sadness at the way they have been treated by others in the club we know as Church. I wish I could say that it was limited to leaders or people with some degree of authority but in fact it seems to me that perhaps we are all, across the board, becoming just a little less tolerant and a lot more impatient.

I made this comment to a church leader (they weren't CofE so for once I can breath a limited sigh of relief) and their response was, 'Well, they're just so demanding. They want your time and want you to listen to them and then want you to make their problems go away and I don't have the time for all that!' Sadly they weren't that impressed by my response to their response, because I merely pointed out that if they weren't there do do that then what did they think their role was?

What followed was a litany of 'I have to ...' and you know what, they didn't have to at all, the problem came from the fact that they were not only a blinking control freak but they also functioned as the lord of all they surveyed - running their little club as a fiefdom when some were granted rights and privileges whilst others were merely pew-fodder and their to be commanded and controlled. But I must be getting better for I merely smiled and left them to all that work they have to do - but sadly, one of their members I met have decided that they should do that too and have joined another (still not CofE) club elsewhere.

Now I know that we all have people around us who want time and a listening ear but never respond to advice.

I know that there are always people who have opinions and want things to be done differently - and perhaps if they wanted to 'do' the things done differently in the different way they wanted them to be done rather than merely criticise and make their demands they'd find life was a different reality for them too!

I am also all too aware that there are those who continue to do really silly things (and claim it was satan what made them do it perhaps?) and continue to repeat their mistakes at an alarming rate and sometimes increasing intensity - BUT - we have to make our churches safe and this means getting priorities right:

People are the most important thing we have in church and even if this means that we invest hours in them only to see them leave - it is right that we did it, and right that we do it again for the next person.

I'd rather have  a 'worship band' that sounds like Des O'Connor and a church (for Church = people) that purred like a Rolls Royce than the other way round - for I know which of the two blesses God.

Rather than keep looking for church growth and seeking the lost (and attractive to those in other churches) we need to concentration on shepherding our flock for this is where real Church is to be found and it also results in retention. Bringing them in is relatively simple - it's the keeping them that takes the work and if you aren't prepared to do that work - then you need to be prepared to lose them: And send them with a blessing!

A friend recently said of my blog that it was a place where I often appeared 'to have a cob on' and they wondered how people read what I wrote without 'chucking a brick through my window' (verbally rather than physically). Now I have to admit that I'm rarely angry when I write this stuff - it's merely a five/ten minute dialogue internally - the physical evidence of an inner struggle, consideration or 'trying to make sense of' moment.

I don't write to lecture - but as a 'memo to self' which I invite others to read and consider and offer correction, advice, pity or prayer - but if it touches a nerve, inflames a passion or gets you going too, them I am doubly-blessed.

Church is a great place - it's only some of the people in it that make it a pain,

Church is a bigger pain when the people who make it so are those who lead.

So if you're a leader - how are you doing?

Ask your members ;-)

phew - nine minutes - keyboard's smoking and I'm off to early communion, funerals, school assemblies and a couple of meetings and whatever else the day brings - please pray for those who lead, we're not always sitting indoors with our feet up :-)

Smoke and Mirrors: 'Flying Care Visits'

Last Saturday, passing a parked ambulance and fearing the worse I stopped and banged on the back door. Finding no one at home I went to check on one of the vulnerable people I knew in the block it was outside and found my worst fears realised as the front door was opened by a paramedic. After a quick chat with the the soon to be hospitalised person I left wondering how we might provide some more consistent care for them.

That afternoon I received a call from someone asking me to pop in and visit their ageing relative for a chat as they were struggling a little now that they were on their own. Of course I said I'd visit and this made me think about the earlier ambulance thing. Amazingly, yesterday at the Parish church I was asked whether I remembered one of the former members who was there when I was Curate. Having responded in the affirmative I was regaled with a tale of woe regarding their situation at home and the circumstances that led to their eventual move to an old people's provision.

It is right and proper that we help people to remain as independent as they can be in their own homes and yet this is a costly exercise that the state cannot, no - will not - pay for and so we come up with this touching base exercise, the twelve minute visit, that has attracted the label 'Flying Care Visit'. The person starring in the Saturday Ambulance visit was in receipt of this but had had the visits cut because of funding, a situation that meant they were due to be seen to be alive in the morning and again in the evening but the middle of the day visit was to be gone. Now, fortunately for them, they were poorly when the early visit was made and so help was quickly forthcoming but what would have happened had they been taken ill at say, eleven?

I'm concerned that we are engaging in the kneejerk response here and missing the point, which is that if we are to encourage and support those growing older or suffering from severe medical condition to stay at home then we, and here whilst I mean society knowing it will end up as Church, needs to be engaged and active. The provision of but a few different people looking in and checking on a more regular basis will provide companionship and a check in one and will avoid the situation before us - and I know that the funding isn't there to provide more visits and the desire (and ability) to pay is non-existent too - but perhaps the desire should be ours (the church).

The Bible leaves me in no doubt that I am responsible for the care and welfare of those around me and I know that if everyone who has tutted at the reports of Flying Care this morning committed themselves to be involved, to check on family, friends and neighbours we'd see an end to these stories and have a community too.

I write this knowing that I am as guilty as the next man (or woman - nothing sexist here) and would like to challenge those who are members of churches (and especially those who lead them) to call their fellowships together and see how they can make real what today they are bemoaning as lost.

James 1.27 talks about what 'real' religion (which is relationship and not rules) is in this way:

'If you think you're 'religious' because you use the right words and talk a good game then you're wrong. It's nothing more than hot air and has no value before man or God. What has value before God, and man, is that you reach out to the homeless and loveless; the old, infirm and the shut-ins as they live out their lives. And as you do, watch that you do not become, as the world is, hypocrites and seekers of a good self-image'

The reality is that the way we provide care is wrong and the greater truth is that it will not get better unless we use action rather than words - sounds like a call to the Church to me.

Or will we use smoke and mirrors too?

Boating - A truly Wet Witness

Yesterday I found myself engaged in a couple of most interesting conversations regarding funerals and the high workload of clergy. The former focused on how the person 'up the front' could make or break a funeral and the latter was located on the large amount of work many priests get through in their daily rounds.

Interestingly, for me at least, there was a very high degree of respect and admiration for those who live out their calling to be engaged in this priesthood business and it was good to hear people from a place not my own talk about encounters and perceptions. To hear of how much of a part clergy play in their communities and how visible they are, even to those who might not be part of the Church, was a great encouragement indeed.

The funeral piece was interesting, for me at least, in that it mentioned the need to be well grounded in who the person being dispatched was and the fact that humour was regarded as perhaps the second most essential element - in a balanced and appropriate way of course - of the whole proceedings.

It is always a challenge to know how to react whilst on a funeral visit and it's not until one walks through that door that the right level is to be found; some being sombre or tearful whilst others are gentle and even lighthearted whilst some are almost riotous and in danger of becoming a full blown party. The being invited into the presence of someone who has lost their partner of sixty plus years and finding a pragmatic and 'doing it the right way approach' can just as easily be a tearful and almost toxic grief experience; for no two people grieve exactly the same - no two families handle their loss in exactly the same way.

'What makes a funeral work is ending on a high and with a birth of a laugh and a smile,' said my companion.

That a funeral is not the end and that there is a resurrection to come - that a person is never a 'was' and is always an 'is' - that Jesus died and rose again - can there be a better high than that?

Pax

Thought for the Day: Autism

I saw this and it made me think of those I know who struggle with this as carer or as one who has this challenge as part of their own life.

Made me stop and pray for both - hope it does the same for you.

Made me resolve to contact someone I know who has Autism as a daily reality in their lives and offer support - hope it helps you to do the same :-)

'The sort of religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: 

That which looks after those who have needs;

keep yourself from looking like the world - look instead like Jesus!'

James 1.27 (paraphrased)

Making money from the poor - Pt3

Standing in the queue at our local convenience store I became engaged in conversation with the woman in front of me as she purchased a packet of twenty cigarettes (£6.97). I expressed my surprise at the cost to which she told me that she 'needed' two pack of them each and every day, "Just to get through it!" Quick as a flash I thought to myself, "That's £13.94 a day which is just over £5,000 a year."

Having paid for her cigarettes (she buys the morning packet and hopes she can scrape the money for the second when it's needed) she raked through her coins and put £10 on the electricity card. Apparently that was going to be all she could afford until the next cheque came (I assume this is a benefits cheque). I asked her what she did when the electricity ran out and was told she'd go and stay at one of her children's places or perhaps a friend.

As we got deeper into the conversation she told me that she'd had, "One of them instant loans which meant she was struggling." Delving into the subject it appeared that she'd taken up an 'instant cash' loan of £1,000 from someone who'd knocked at her door last Christmas and the interest rate had turned out to be so high that, with default charges, she now owed a sum whose principal figure was something in excess of £4k. She'd managed to take out a loan from a 'proper' company and was paying it off at £25 a week. Now I don't know the term or the interest rate but I get the feeling that she, like my would-be car buyer, is paying something punitive.

When I got back I rang someone from the debt counselling business and was told that she'd probably be looking at one of the local companies whose rate would be around 20% and that this would make the time needed to pay off the debt would be five years and the charges would be around the £2.350 mark. This means that for a £1,000 'instant' loan on the doorstep, our poverty-stricken heroine was going to end up paying around £5,500 when all was said and done.

Now I know some will say she's the victim of her own folly and that she should pay off the whole thing in a year if she would but stop smoking but I get the feeling this is the easy answer. What I am more interested in is the tough questions, like:

How do we handle the fact that people can knock on a door, offer money and charge high interest and punitive default amounts?

How do we get those who would jump at such offers to get involved with their local Credit Union (and if there isn't one, how do our churches set one up?).

How do we provide debt awareness and debt coaching for those who have fallen into the debt trap?

How do we make our fellow church members aware and get us mobilised and motivated to act to resolve the situation so that we can truly set the debtors free?

Pax

Is Rowan Still Around?

haven't heard much from him regarding the St Paul's debacle (I know a limerick about it!!).

Anyway, the Chapter has now issued a statement offering to act as a broker between the protesters and the wonderful world of finance. Not only that but they are suspending their action to evict the happy campers from their front door.

Not only that but +London has engaged the services of a Merchant banker (not rhyming slang ;-) )to 'reconnect the financial with the ethical'. Now, there's a thought!!!

Pity they couldn't get their act together sooner - I have met more than enough people who are only too happy to inform me that the, "CofE is a disgrace in the way that it sides with the bankers and seeks to use the same company as was used to evict people in the Dale Farm debacle!"

I have asked people whether they have anyone stupid, dodgy or a bit of an embarrassment in their family and when they answer in the affirmative (as I'm sure we all can - I know my Sister is able to do so!) I ask them whether this means that they, or their whole family, is stupid, dodgy or a bit of an embarrassment. Of course the answer to this is always a resounding 'No'.

That's exactly how it is with St Paul's and the CofE!

Simple or what - job done.

Now Rowan, why couldn't you have said that (more eloquently and with much more theological voracity and intellectual magnificence)?

Pax

Time to fetch the canons?

I am saddened that some have seen to make capital out of the confusion of St Paul's Cathedral staff and that there appears, on a number of levels, to be a distinct lack of Christian love, integrity and most of all awareness.

The reality is that moves will be made to evict those who are camped outside St Paul's but behind the surface of this is a great deal of double-speak, self-serving posturing and and erosion of the public awareness of just how engaged the Church (universal) and the Church of England (local) is with the causes, and opinions, embraced by those camping outside the church building.

What people are being encouraged to miss is the fact that we still provide care and represent people when they are in times of trouble and tend the broken and much more besides all because of a few bob and a desire, on the part of some, to make a martyr!

Simple answer - STOP IT!

Liked this cartoon from the Mail (Thanks Jon)

Pax

CofE fees - pay more, gain nothing?

The implications of the Ecclesiastical Fees (Amendment) Measure 2011 cropped up yesterday. As a result I learned about the old days where incumbents could have more income than bishops and how augmentation provided for the poorer parishes. The benefits of a consistent stipend and the issues of a common purse and parish share all bobbed to the surface like detritus from a sunken liner!

Honourably, the first (quotable) comment considered the fact that the CofE is pricing itself out of the market when it comes to funerals and weddings. The cost of a base funeral being (with fees) is c. £2,000.

There is much pressure and hype regarding attracting weddings back into church buildings and yet, pound for pound, even though the buildings are attractive, in terms of venue alone, we are just not competitive. Then again, as one senior cleric put it, we possess a value added factor in that God is at hand to bless in our services (does that mean He curses i.e. withholds blessing, the others?).

We need to get our act together and realise that there is much at stake in the way that we market (used to be called evangelism), and charge for, what the Church offers.

I have much to wade through on this topic (thought the rural dean bit was just organising meetings, didn't know I had to read and understand stuff too :) ).

This is not a good measure and the mutterings about fees going directly to diocesan coffers and the like will do nothing to settle the troops and less in attracting punters!

Pax

Mental Health - starting to take a look

Following on from my Good Friday experience I have started taking stock of the people and situations around me and have realised that there are so many issues and attitudes which collide. Some show our society off to a bad light and others damage and mar the image of Christ in the Church and the Church in the world.

What has to be said is that the Church is made up of very human, humans, and this sometimes shows. But (always a but somewhere!) the Church is also made up of some truly Christlike people too and it would be wrong to tar the Church because of a few poor experiences (which after all might be their learning experience, albeit a costly one for some at times) and some ignorant (they can hopefully be taught) and costly (in terms of broken and wounded people) errors.

A few of the sadnesses I have discovered thus far:

+ A fair number of people have the attitude that once someone has had a mental health issue they are 'mental' for the rest of their life. This is obviously not always the case.

+ A fair number of people assume that mental illness has nothing to do with physical causes and ascribe the effects (which we call mental illness) to a number of odd causes ranging from abuse to demons! This often gets the 'cheer up' response to depressives and the enforced exorcisms that I have received mail about!

+ Those with mental health issues fluctuate and can be testing at times. I know this from experience and have to struggle to be open and accepting of this, especially at 3:00am! But if we stop and take a look in the mirror, so too can we be testing and a trial to others at times, so what's the difference they have a condition with a name, that's all (what's our excuse?).

+ I am amazed to find that some people don't like to be around those with mental health issue in case the 'catch it' and because people thus afflicted can be embarrassing.

I have started a thread on the Cavedwellers blog about this issue, anyone who wishes to join in is more than welcome (you'll need to join). I thought this was a better option than directing the blog to this issue, which I think is going to take some unravelling.

Thank you for the mail and comments I have received, I hope that from it I might be able to develop a positive way forward at personal, church and wider levels.

Pax

Mad Priest - what the professionals say

MP wrote: "I wanted to send the following to Vic but was unable to find an email address for him so I'm posting it here.

A couple of years ago my diocese sent me to see a professor of psychiatry, chosen and paid for by themselves, who was to report back to them with an assessment of my ability to perform my priestly duties. The following is a scan of the conclusion of the psychiatrist's report:"

I have posted this as a remedy and source of information for some who have written to me privately to show that there is a degree of openness and transparency that denies some of the =comments received and perhaps warrants some consideration.

I am not seeking to vilify nor applaud, but engage in honest discussion. What I find before me leads me to consider my own attitudes and responses regarding mental health issues. Hopefully others will find themselves occupied likewise.

Pax