Monday 12 April 2010

Now is the time to say goodbye - Part the first

No, not the Peter Cook and Dudley Moore version:



But the version that starts to make you wonder whether or not it's time to leave for pastures new. No, not me (before anyone starts cheering) but a general muse over the subject of moving on, moving up, moving out.

Having left Elim for the CofE I know many of my former friends and colleagues had the idea that I had lost my faith by so doing. I had joined the ranks of the infant baptism sploshing, vain repetition uttering heretics that were the Church of England and had left behind the things of the Spirit and the opportunity to 'name and claim it'.

So, how can you work out whether God is calling you to leave your present spiritual home for pastors new? Here's a few thoughts (feel free to add to them or detract from me as you might feel fit!):

1. A sense that where you are is not enough any more. Within Church there are times and seasons and we need to realise that where God has called us to be might merely be for a season and for a reason. There are places which entertain and attract us and cause us to become members but, like a chinese meal, leave us feeling that we're still hungry for something more. We might have cut our spiritual teeth in that place but there is never quite enough to keep us feeling that we're being nourished.

Cautions: If this is what we start to feel then we need to examine this feeling carefully. I meet a number of people who seek 'better worship' or 'more powerful teaching' and leave the right place for the wonderful world of Christutainment. The thrills and spills of an exciting church which doesn't do any solid teaching and which does the 'name it claim it, prosperity and triumphalistic' tosh!

Questions to ask:
i. Why isn't it enough? If it's because other places do 'more exciting' church, then it's probably not God. This is the stuff 'sheep stealing' is all about, you build something, get a big worship band, get some 'names'; to come and preach and watch as the unsettled, 'I want something more' wallies bleat their way over to your establishment.

ii. Is this about people, vision, mission, teaching or worship? Often, the people coming to me for advice over this are unsettled in their current church because they perceive a new order, that they've fallen out of the leadership or simply don't share the vision any more. If it's about not being part of a new order, then perhaps this is an indicator that the time is coming to move home. We are sometimes called to a place for a season and when that season ends, we move to a new field and graze there. Is the thing lacking perceptible? If so is it relationship, teaching, worship, challenge, vision, mission, prayer or something else you can name?

I have come a cross so many places where few seem to come to Christ and yet many roam from fellowship to fellowship seeking the latest 'in' church. The are like children in a fairground, attracted from ride to ride seeking greater excitement and bigger thrills. They are limited in their Christian outlook, Biblical knowledge and theological understanding. Mind you, they can sing all of the twenty top worship songs and can name all the big hair, teeth and gold on the God channel.

Don't be like them - examine yourself and challenge any feelings that church 'is not enough' and realise that if you decide to leave, you first have to discuss this with the pastor, minister, leadership team and leave with a good relationship and with a blessing. And if you don't, please don't be offended when I (or someone like me) tells you that the church they're part of probably isn't the place for you.

iii. Is this merely about me? Will a good night's sleep, a stirring sermon or a service where we sing all my favourite songs change my mind? A bit like 'hello mother, hello father' many of those who come to me are merely 'out of salts' and just need to chill a bit and stop the navel gazing or self-indulgent stuff for a bit. Always let the sun go down on this topic - tomorrow is another day and many a bridge has been burned by hasty decisions over church membership.

More soon - are you in the right place, or are you merely the wrong person at the moment?

3 comments:

UKViewer said...

An interesting thoughtful post, addressing something which I know is quite common, churchsumerism.

People shopping around for the best sermon, the comfiest seating or best Choral tradition, or whatever.

When I joined the CofE after a long break from any form of Church it was in response to a direct call to a place and a Parish and a community which I received loud and clear.

Now two years later, I am being asked as part of the discernment process; Are You Sure? Is this your favourite tradition or liturgy? What happens when the Vicar leaves?

In reality the call to serve came from and within my membership of my Parish and Local Ministry there is what I have discerned the call to be. I worked near the church when I joined it, now I am retired, I actually live over 50 miles away, and could more easily join a local church.

But the call and commitment to my parish is so strong, that I and my wife are going to move nearer there as soon as she retires in two years time.

I wondered if age 60 I was going to be of any use in Ministry, and was soon involved as a Lay Minister, now something more beckons.

If God has called me to be there, I will answer as long as the call lasts - currently it becomes stronger and more demanding so I feel that change is not an option.

So I hope that you are not going away soon - your blog is one of those I value reading.

Vic Van Den Bergh said...

Thanks for your input.

Discernment is something that we do so badly at times. As part of my role doing vocations advisor stuff I am amazed at some of the ideas people have (and don't have which worries me more) when it comes to what being a member of a denomination is..

The idea that we can change from baptist to Anglican (as an easy example) and not realise that our theological position over many things (infant baptism being the least) is changed by such a simple move. If it's not changed why have we moved, is it simply because the new church is 'better'? If so, then understanding what makes us distinctly Anglican is lost.

Which gives me an idea . . . back shortly.

Thanks again,

V

UKViewer said...

The comment about denominational switching strikes a chord with me.

I attended a course last year, which was non-denominational. One attendee was a Deacon in a Baptist congregation.

I was surprised to hear that this ministry is not ordained (in our sense) but specific and local.

What surprised me more was his asserting that if he had to move home for job or any reason, he would go to the nearest Christian Church and join there - with no specific denominational call?

I had difficulty with understanding this, but later accepted that it might just be churchuniserism!