One of the interesting things I was told at theological college was that regardless of how hard you worked you would not only never manage to please everybody but you would just about always hear of others displeasure, discomfort, theological distress of 'better ways of doing it' at least third, and more usually fourth, hand.
Some time back I had a couple of people mention 'issues' others have had regarding something I organised. There were great issues to have had and stemmed from those twin towers of 'we always do it' and 'I would have', the twin voices that often become a great death knell for any institution or organisation. Notice of course, that it's always 'others' who have the problem by the way - wouldn't do to come with your own :) .
Now the interesting thing was that in another Christian group when a volunteer to coordinate some event was asked for, not a soul came forward. The reasons for this were:
i. We are all too busy,
ii. There's too much to be done, and not enough time, and
iii. Who wants the hassle of doing it knowing how likely it is that someone will berate you for doing it.
Every organisation, club and institution suffers from this. How often have we (yes I mean 'we') mentioned our complaint over something to a third party knowing that really it was our complaint? We just don't like looking like we're complaining so we assign it to a mysterious third party.
How often have we 'gone off on one' regarding something or other only to find when an explanation was offered that there were conditions or restrictions which meant that rather than whatever is the focus of the niggle was actually well delivered? Facts are awful things for the often take away all the fire and passion of our argument.
Are we ever guilty of the, "But we ALWAYS do this?" syndrome? It seems to me that we do it once and it's novel, different or even wrong. Do it again and it's, "What we do!" and keep on doing it and it's writ in law and holy Scripture. There are times when we do something the same way because we're lazy or perhaps creatures of habit and just don't have the imagination (or intelligence?) to see further than the end of what 'always has been'.
Here's a thought as a new week looms large to help us all deal with whatever we encounter this week:
If you're confused by it - find out what is really happening and why. Facts are useful,
If it's different - before you complain that, We always do it this way," find out why it's been done,
If we have a better way of doing it - go tell the person and dialogue. We might be right but then again we might not have done the the first two steps and act out of ignorance and act as a stumbling block to those who are doing stuff.
Have a super week people.
Pax
7 comments:
How true. We will never please everyone, but it is how we deal with the differences and failed expectations that is what matters. That is 'we'.
My approach is pragmatic.
If 'someone said' or 'other people think' then it scores 0 on the priority list of 'stuff to repair/resolve/heal/change'. My reply is usually 'Who?'
If 'Fred said' or 'Joan thinks' then it scores 1 - which means I will go and talk to Fred or Joan (or ask them to come and talk to me).
If Fred says, or Joan thinks and tells me directly, then it scores 2.
And so on.
After that, facts and reality start to come into the discussion.
Hopefully the grace of God gets us through ;-). Pax.
I think that there is lots of truth in this post. In the Army, there is always change, and in 43 years, I saw so much. The Army that I retired from last year, is a completely different beast from the one I joined in 1967!
Resistance to change is actually a natural thing - we all like to stay with things which we are familiar with and that are in our 'comfort zone' but change forces us to face the uncomfortable and perhaps selfish realities of our own views and attitudes to life and people.
Whenever change is implemented, the naysayers are always ready to trot out, the 'we would not have done it that way' alternatively, 'if it ain't broke - don't fix it'.
A function of leadership is to implement change - and to convince opposition to it - that it is in their best interests to change, as doing nothing is the wrong option.
When we view what is going on in our Post-Modern world and Church, change is happening, but to slow for many - I just wonder where the leaders are to convince us that it is both needed and the right thing to do - something I struggle with sometimes. But also to highlight the need to stick with some things like the Gospels which provide an adequate template for most things that I can think of in life and belief.
Totally agree Hels - I always invite the bearer of the message to identify the source of disquiet and if they are unable (or unwilling) to do so merely assume that the problem doesn't exist.
When I do hear of the complaints through other parties I usually contact the source of the reported disquiet and ask them what their problem is (if it merits being dealt with, some times I merely shrug, sigh and continue).
It's a great way of keeping us praying and humble though isn't it :) ?
Sorry meant to add a 'thank you' to both of you for your comments - always good to be made to think and reflect (and I do and will).
On a different note, what was you cap badge UKV?
I'm currently attached to the scaleys :)
I was R Signals as a Regular, when transferred to TA, went the round of Int Corps, AGC(SPS), R Signals (on commissioning) and back to AGC(SPS) on promotion. Last job in Canterbury, where I joined my Parish, perhaps recruited by a TA Padre - doing his job.
For four years I worked with AGC at WD near WInchester - 1992-1996
Helegant,
I don't know whether to offer you congratulations or commiserations for having worked at WD for 4 years.
I only went there for courses, dinners (when I could not get out of them) and because my Mrs is still in the ACG(SPS) for Corps Day?
There was always something about the place which I disliked or which made me uncomfortable.
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