Now is the time to say goodbye - Part the third

It's just like choosing a restaurant!

When people decide it's time to move on, if they come and tell the leadership that they are going, one of the best things to do (if you're telling me anyway) is to tell them, "God is telling me to move!" Now, doing this invokes the biggest player in the Christian lifestyle and unless the leader has a direct word from the Boss themselves, trumps any argument that might be brought up.

Personally, if someone comes to me with the ,"God says . . .," unless I have a word to the contrary I have to accept their discernment and send them with a blessing. There have been times where the reason is tenuous in the extreme but I've sent them with a blessing. Now I don't mean. "A blessing they've gone somewhere else, a blessing that they're someone else's problem," and stuff like that (although to be honest it  could have been said!) but a blessing that asks God to be with them and uphold their choice and bless it.

The reason for this is that I believe that this is Biblical and practical even though at times it is extremely difficult to do (I have never rejoiced at people leaving) but it has to be done. Why?

Firstly, it is what we Christians are called to do. Blessing others and not cursing.

Secondly, it let's those going say goodbye in a proper and balanced manner and allows those left behind to see how we deal with beginnings and endings and those little life-happenings the way God would have us do. We're open, transparent and loving.

Lastly, it leaves the door open. If someone goes and life is great in the new place they are free to come and tell others as there's still a relationship. Should there be a service (like a baptism) that they'd like to come to, they can without embarrassment or recrimination. Better still, should the move turn out to be a tragedy, having left in good standing with the church and its members there's no problem in them returning home, where a loving welcome awaits them.

Leaving under a cloud or having made a stand and done the pointy toes bit makes it a lot more difficult to return as it acknowledges that leaving was not only done the wrong way but was the wrong move too! Rarely does a person return to a church they've left in a fit of pique. Another reason for time spent in prayer, discernment and discussion.

A while back I was stopped in a garage. The person asked me about service times and basically quizzed me for about ten minutes on the services and stuff we do. At the end of the chat they told me that they were members of a local Christian group and that they had decided they were going to join us. I asked what the person at the front had thought about their leaving and was told that they hadn't told them, they were just leaving.

I explained that I would of course have to contact the leader if they wanted to come and suggested that they did the same before leaving so that they could come with a blessing and in 'good standing' with the fellowship. The face fell and the tone changed. "Don't you want me to come to your church?" I replied with a smile, "Of course, but you need to come the right way. If you don't you take the blessing away from us, you and those you're leaving and you make me look like I'm sheep stealing!"

The enquiring sheep walked away and I didn't see them again until Good friday when they pointedly told me that they'd become a member of another fellowship in town and that they didn't mind them 'just leaving and coming'. Mind you knowing where the person's gone this didn't surprise me, seems to me that sheep-stealing is their middle name anyway.

Thinking of leaving? Then do it the right way so that you are sent with a blessing and don't become a curse for those you leave or those to whom you come.

Pax